Letter Rip

SosfDavidO here, and let’s do this! Let’s use today’s strip kick off another improbable, as far-from-reality as possible comic arc involving Harry and some eccentric overseas chocolatier! What will it be? An invitation to spend a week in his haunted castle? A request Harry and his wife adopt his orphaned 3-year old great grandson? A certificate giving Harry 25% of the company? Who knows!

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Letter Rip

  1. Epicus Doomus

    He still gets mail at WHS too? Where the hell is this going? And if there is some point to this beside the usual dumb band gags, why wait until Friday to get to it? Oh yeah, right…the hackery.

  2. DOlz

    I’ve had Band Candy and I’ve had Belgian chocolate. TB should be expecting a defamation lawsuit from Belgian chocolatiers in short order.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    The answer: nothing. Tomorrow will just be a joke about kids being morons. Or just Dinkle bragging.

  4. While I would like to hope that he’d get sued back into a ball of dirt for selling knock-off candy, Batiuk has too much love for this horrible man to let anything really bad happen to him.

  5. Hitorque

    Why the hell is Dinkle still getting his mail at the school? Why the hell is Miss One-Arm personally delivering it to him? How the hell did Westview afford to import bulk orders of fancy high-end chocolate, and who even uses that shit for fundraising? When does Dinkle stop trying to work into every conversation how awesome and accomplished his retconned career as band director was??

  6. LTPFTR

    And of course the chocolate company is named after one of the Manson Family murderers.

  7. billytheskink

    All the band candy you’ve sold, Harry?

    OK, sure, I’ll go with it. Your students never sold a thing…

  8. $$$WESTVIEW ONCOLOGIST$$$

    Oh, please, Dinkle. Even if you did make millions of the stock splits and dividends…you would still waste your time hanging around the Westview band all the damn time!! You’re like that college graduate that still hangs around the dorms years after. Retire or die, Harry.

  9. Professor Fate

    One of the things that makes these arcs such a painful slog is that despite what the Author seems to think, selling Band Candy is not in and of itself funny.

  10. I hope the letter is telling him that his medical results were mailed to the chocolatier by mistake, and that he has deadly inoperable cancer that will kill him in a Sunday comic-book tribute.

  11. Epicus Doomus

    Oh, I get it. The WHS band has sold so much band candy over the years that the candy company is honoring the guy who used to run the band seventeen years ago. Yeah, that makes sense in a Batiukian sort of way.

  12. Jimmy

    Neither Batiuk nor Dinkle really understands how a commercial transaction works.

  13. This is truly Batuikian: band candy is, in the real world, the cheapest, lowest-quality candy available, sold at a high markup to finance the band. The band knows this, and more importantly the customers know it, and so throw the candy out as soon as it arrives. And all’s well with the world–the band makes money (which is the purpose of the whole “candy” thing, shaking down the parents and friends of band members) and the customers know not to eat the poison. But in the Funkyverse, it seems that for the last umpteen years they’ve been selling real imported top-quality Belgian chocolate for band candy, at little or no profit (this being Worstview, maybe even at a loss due to fluctuations in the exchange rate between the time the candy is ordered and the time it’s delivered), and the customers have been throwing it away thinking it’s crap. More misery for everybody!!

  14. I just found out that Jack Ziegler, cartoonist for the New Yorker and the National Lampoon, passed away recently. Most of his cartoons were really bizarre, but they were also hilarious. He wasn’t that well known; he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia article.

    And yet here’s Harry Dinkle, the opposite of funny, about to be handsomely rewarded for being a horrible human being.

    This world stinks.

  15. Don

    It’s a request to find the heir to the candy fortune – somebody named Milhouse