Harper Les

Link to today’s strip.

Greetings, folks, BChasm here, back behind the soundboard.  Thank you, TFH, for a typically stellar performance–now I know what it was like, back when The Monkees followed their opening act, Jimi Hendrix, on to the stage.

The secret to being a good guest host is working with good material and bringing out something unique.  The secret to being a great guest host is working with no material at all and coming up with something, which brings me to today’s piffle.

I guess it was about a year ago that Harper Lee published Go Set A Watchman, and I further guess that Tom Batiuk thought that would be suitable grist for his mill…somehow.    I always assume that all of Les’ students are idiots, so I’ve learned nothing new about Amelia (whichever of the twins she is).  But once again Les shows himself to be a colossal dick.

In my time in school, all the way through college, I never had a professor mock me by reading out one of my incorrect answers.  And I fail to see what point Les is trying to make.  If he thinks she’s not paying attention, a simple “Please see me after classes” written on the exam would suffice just fine.   During which the teacher would discuss the student’s difficulties and make suggestions.   You know, trying to help the student–something he’s supposed to be doing–rather than taking the opportunity to show what an ass he is.

So, I suspect Les’ after class meeting would start with some stupid wordplay and might finally get around to asking Amelia about her class performance.  Then she’d respond to his question, “Gee, Mr. Moore, you’re so boring.  You drone on and on about your dead wife when you’re not making these awful puns.  I’m going back to Crankshaft.”

That might be a nice thing to be able to do, any other teacher would think.  Somehow, though, I suspect Les finds it just fine in Westview, where all must celebrate his dickery.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “Harper Les

  1. billytheskink

    “No such thing as bad student, only bad teacher.”
    – Mr. Miyagi, who was obviously a Funky Winkerbean reader

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Poor, poor Dick Facey. Still toiling in the English mines, sneering with contempt at the latest crop of paint-chip-chewing dullards and latchkey single-parent dolts The Universe has foisted upon him. He can’t even disguise his disgust as yet another sad-sack-slack-jawed Westviewian makes yet another dopey wordplay-based mistake (and it’s tough to fault the kids there, given where they were raised) like it’s a grievous insult to everything he believes in and represents. Why isn’t his obnoxious mix of snide condescension and smug superiority reaching these impressionable teens? Obviously it’s their fault, given how society has inundated them with cell phones, Nintendo games and the like. Otherwise they’d probably respond very well to the pissy bearded asswipe who always wears the lame yellow shirt, as he was one of them once too, only smarter.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Les, if the test you give your high school English students consists of questions like “What novel did Harper Lee write?”, you’re the problem, not them.

  4. Batiuk never seems to want to admit that Les is a subpar teacher because that’s probably how he behaved when he was ruining the ability to enjoy reading for his students. It’s not that Les/Tom is/was a colossal dick, it’s that he’s surrounded by idiots.

  5. Today’s joke might have been amusing, if it hadn’t been delivered by Less in a breach of the most fundamental rule of teaching.

  6. Hitorque

    Christ, what an asshole…

    I had a couple of teachers in my time who did this, but even they had the common sense to not identify the student, much less call them out by name and humiliate them in front of everyone…

    Can we just get back to those special smirky snowflakes in Hollywood, please??


    Is it me or is that the “That’s not humor” kid between the evil twins? He seems as exasperated by these events as we are.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    If Batty were trying to portray things as they are, tomorrow’s strip will show the student filing a complaint for being singled out and shamed in front of the class.

  9. sgtsaunders

    Just how cruel a teacher is that sonfabitch Les? Take a gander at today’s episode wherein Les berates a student for her quiz answer in front of the entire class. Les lashes out at her in total disregard of every anti-bully lesson ever, when he’s really just pissed that there is apparently something dead he didn’t write a comic book about.

  10. @sgtsaunders:

    Batiuk is probably still seething about being disciplined by a school board for exposing them to legal action.

  11. Charles

    I’ve mentioned this before. I had an English teacher way back who had a peculiar sense of humor which, when kids would misread her intentions, really pissed off some kids. She ended up having her classroom and her car vandalized, and one kid got expelled for phoning in death threats against her. And this was for a woman who really didn’t mean any harm.

    And a year after I graduated, a chemistry teacher, who had a history of employing mean humor at students, called the wrong kid stupid and got his 30-year-careered ass fired.

    Neither of these rise to the level that Les just did. Batiuk shows just how out of touch he is by not showing Les constantly being the victim of student retribution for all his dickheadedness toward them. I know he got his car vandalized once, but that was because he left it at the school overnight, and not because “IT’S THE DOUCHE’S CAR LET’S SPRAYPAINT ‘PIMPWAGON’ ON IT”. Also, there’s no way that Summer would have managed to have a social life, since ostracizing her would have been the easiest possible way the students could get back at Les.

    Also, not for the first time, I see this and think that Batiuk’s one of those guys who, when he’s bullied, doesn’t think about how terrible bullying is. Rather, he just wishes he was in position to bully the kids instead. That’s exactly what Les does when he finds himself in that position.

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    I wonder if this will lead to Amelia falling in love with dorky, balding, goateed, yellow-shirted Les, only to have her advances rebuffed, leading to her attempted suicide, leading to an ill-timed kiss, leading to a cell phone picture of this kiss, leading to Amelia’s expulsion from school, leading to Les’s compliment of her “helluva kiss.”

    Nah. Even BatHack would never concoct such an unlikely and ridiculous sequence of events, right?