Always Give Up, Always Surrender

Link to today’s strip.

Sorry about that, I was watching “Galaxy Quest” and forgot about my duties here!

So, anyway.  I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Cindy’s documentary will not win an Emmy.  Here are the reasons why.

First of all, losing will be a crushing blow to Cindy (especially now that Mason’s enthused about it), and I don’t think Tom Batiuk can resist that.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve pretty much forgotten all of high school–but for some, those memories are forever.

Secondly, Cliff Anger has already had the ultimate honorarium–he had a hot-cocoa-and-sammiches meet-up with a bunch of freeze-dried adolescent idio-fans, and that, my friends, is the only honorific that truly matters.  An Emmy award for a program about him is overkill.

Thirdly, an award for a Cliff Anger documentary would say that there is a value in persisting and striving for a goal–Cindy’s goal, of course, not Cliff Anger’s–and that goes against everything this strip stands for.

Fourthly , it emphasizes the idea in this strip that awards are not given to *ahem* truly deserving subjects, but are meted out to things that tweak the current zeitgeist; awards are shallow things that shine in the eyes of the great unwashed for a few moments, before the next shiny thing comes along.

Finally, and I think most importantly, an award is impossible for anything unless Les Moore is involved.  He alone is allowed to achieve, because, you know, he’s SO sensitive and artistic, and driven by creativity, and–get this–his wife died.  How can you not shower him with accolades?

This is another strip that gives the lie to the “time jump” theory.  All of Cindy’s competition is thoroughly contemporary.  Tom Batiuk didn’t push his cast into the future–he just aged them.

So I’d like to make a request of the Gods of Funky Winkerbean critique.  Please stop saying “time jump.”  Please start saying “age jump.”  Because that’s all it ever was.

PS:  If you’ve never seen “Galaxy Quest” I highly, highly recommend it.  It’s about a bunch of has-been actors who are given the chance to save the world.   Instead of bitterly making sure the angle of their lampshades were just so, they stood up and made a difference.   It’s one of the few films I recommend with no reservations.

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11 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “Always Give Up, Always Surrender

  1. spacemanspiff85

    If there’s a better depiction of someone completely, totally, and absolutely ignoring another person than that second panel, I’ve never seen it.

  2. billytheskink

    65% of this strip’s total area is taken up by text boxes containing one of history’s most egregious humblebrags.

    35% of the strip’s area is artwork depicting said humblebragger walking out of a mansion with her millionaire fiancé to tan herself on a private beach.

  3. Epicus Doomus

    Forget about his boring old tramp steamer commie stories, the most incredible thing about Cliff Anger’s life, by far, is the fact that his old girlfriend Vera was still alive and still available when he finally ended his unexplained sixty year self-imposed exile thanks to the efforts of a few demented comic book fans. I mean that’s a documentary in and of itself right there.

    So now that Jessica is an Emmy nominated documentary film maker, will she finally do the right thing and jettison Boy Lisa so he and Pete can be together as nature intended? Or will BatNom forget that Jessica was even involved?

  4. Jimmy

    Good catch on the time jump, BC. I guess it would have caused even more confusion if she came up against docs on the robot wars, Quebec’s aggressive expansion after independence, and how driverless cars are turning in their riders.

    @Epicus: crossing my fingers that Bazooka Joe finally gets its due.

  5. Comic Book Harriet

    OH, MY. SWEET. F**K. That last panel is just…
    It makes me want to HURT PEOPLE. It makes me want to go back in time and shake the hand of every bellowing fear monger who perpetuated the Red Scare. Because if people this smug and self righteous are right…then I want NO PART OF IT.

  6. Today’s strip? Meh! Galaxy Quest? Alan Rickman for the win!

  7. Gerard Plourde

    It seems that BaTom is under the impression that during the blacklist people could be jailed for being snarky to Congress (Maybe he thinks that a charge of Contempt of Congress can arise that easily.) He should have read the Wikipedia page on DaltonTrumbo more closely. The act that got Trumbo and his companions convicted of. Contempt of Congress was their refusal to give testimony (specifically, to “name names”). Trumbo himself acknowledged that the conviction was just – his refusal was a violation of law and he was willing to suffer the penalty because he believed the principle of non-cooperation was worth it. He wasn’t jailed because of his membership in the Communist Party of the United States.

  8. Hitorque

    1. Shorter Cindy: “Yeah, some people might find that other shit important, but mine is the only one related to goddamned COMICS, so those other guys are fucked! They might as well not even show up!”

    2. Goddamnit Batiuk, the Syrian Civil War and the refugee crisis are the same thing!

    3. So we’ve got an Oscar story arc, an Emmy story arc, Dinkle still has to go to Bruxelles for his “Candy Seller of the Millennium” -award, and mark my words, we WILL have a “Darrin+Pete from 1958 get nominated for some award”… Can we just write off this strip until 2018?

    4. @BECKONINGCHASM: Unless one of those other documentaries was made by an alumnus of Big Walnut Tech, I don’t see anybody else winning…

    5. Why does Masone not have any other active projects, given that he’s such a hot property now?

    6. Goddamnit Batiuk, Cliffe Angere was imprisoned for contempt of court, since he decided to play the role of a comedian and make a mockery of his situation (and he ain’t no Zero Mostel)… And maybe Cliffe just sucked as an actor since he never found any work long after the blacklist had ended…

    7. So we’re never going to find out just how and why a penniless teenage Cliffe ended up in Moscow for a few months, while not even knowing the language??

  9. Don

    I still wonder if “Outstanding Documentary” is in the televised Emmys in the current Funkyverse. Note that, in reality, there is a category for “Outstanding Documentary or Nonfiction Special” (“special” being Emmytalk for “not a series”), but this one of the Who Cares-er, Creative Arts awards they give out the weekend before the TV version, and gets broadcast in a heavily-edited version on something like FXX.

  10. The irritating thing about her documentary is that it might tend to make McCarthy look good.