La Vida Patetico

Link to today’s strip.  (It’ll be there soon, trust me.) (FINALLY)

That sentence, “Same old same, old man” sure is jarring, but the saddest part here is Pete Rugose…and not because he looks like he’s ten years old.

He’s a far more successful writer than Les Moore–he’s written for Marvel, he’s written Superman stories, and he’s a screenwriter on a highly anticipated upcoming film.   Yet visiting the Flash Museum is the one act that he thinks will define his life.   Of course, those other things I mentioned involve writing, and whenever he has to write, he bitches about how hard it is and how everyone should stop making him do it.  So maybe being able to write comics isn’t something he celebrates, he sees it as just one big burden.

Harry’s expression in panel three is similarly sad.  I’m going to guess that the Flash Museum is not located atop an inaccessible mountain peak, nor is it anchored in the benthic depths of the ocean.  It’s probably right here in America somewhere, so if visiting it drives Harry to high levels of ecstasy, then why haven’t you gone, Harry?  I seriously doubt that the entry fee is too high–remember, we’re talking about a museum devoted to The Flash.  Many museums are supported by visitor donations, while for others the fee is pretty nominal.   They want people to come and see what they have, although I suppose in the Funkyverse maybe it’s the opposite, and they’d rather not have anyone visit unless they happen to be the “right” sort of folks.

The only way any of this makes sense is if the Flash museum only opens once every fifteen years, and only stays open for one hour.  Then, all this talk of how awesome it is to go to the Flash Museum might make sense.  It could be the basis of a great story, too, how Dullard and Pete Ratchet thought they had plenty of time, but got stuck in traffic and got to the museum only to see the “CLOSED” sign be hung in the window by a swift hand.  What an opportunity for misery that would be!

But then, Tom Batiuk couldn’t show drawings of the Flash.  So of course Dullard and Pete Radish will get to see the museum, and so will we.  Sigh.

When they’re at the museum, I hope the staff can sell them razor blades and cyanide capsules at the exit, because if their lives are all downhill from here, why shouldn’t they end it all on a high note?



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “La Vida Patetico

  1. spacemanspiff85

    How are they stopping by? Did they drive from Hollywood? Or is their connecting flight in Westview, somehow?

  2. Epicus Doomus

    So they flew from Hollywood to Center City but first stopped by Montoni’s because it was on the way? No one even appears especially surprised to see Pete, even though he, you know, lives in Hollywood now. Sigh.

    And he still hasn’t bothered to explain what a “Flash museum” is or why it’s such a big deal, yet in spite of that he nonetheless has time to waste on Montoni’s, which (hopefully) has nothing to do with anything. You can’t have the characters move thousands of miles away AND have the dropping by the local pizzeria whenever they like…unless you’re BanTom, that is.

  3. billytheskink

    Looks like Crazy has switched from coffee to the hard stuff, so it must be at least 9:30 in the morning.

  4. erdmann

    Flash Fact: The Flash Museum is indeed only open for one hour every 15 years. It’s not a museum about the Flash, it’s a museum for the Flash and him alone. At his speed, the hour gives ample time to see all the exhibits, check out the gift shop and enjoy a mango smoothie before heading home with a metal wall art reproduction of the cover of issue #123 and a T-shirt that says “Kiss me, I’m the Flash!”

  5. bayoustu

    “So what brings?” So, what brings up my lunch faster than The Flash on Jolt Cola? This comic strip!

  6. sgtsaunders

    That’s an interesting comma placement in P1, “Same old same, old man” as Pete get’s his digs into the titular Winkerbean, deserving of “Old Man!?! Why, I outta….” Further, this “what brings?” shit earns an around-the-world-and-back snap with an extra helping of STFU.

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “No way!”



    “Party on, Funky.”

    “Party on, Pete.”

    (A tip of the Funky felt tip to Wayne, Garth, and slang and expressions no one ever actually used)

  8. Epicus Doomus

    So a comic book writer currently working on a comic book movie tells the guy who works in a comic book store owned by a guy who’s “consulting” on the aforementioned comic book movie about the trip he’s taking to visit a comic book character-themed museum. Longtime FW readers normally refer to the above scenario as “Monday”. It’s somewhat amusing how quickly he seems to have lost interest in “Starbuck Jones”, I mean we’re careening through June already and it’s barely been an afterthought.

    I don’t have anything against comic books, I’ve even enjoyed a few myself. But this Writey McPulitzer (nominee) guy is totally out of control now. Next thing you know Les and Summer will trek off to the Fortress Of Solitude, where they’ll rescue some idiot’s puppy and leave various Lisa trinkets on some rocks.

  9. The only way this makes the blindest bit of sense is to assume that Crankshaft is the one living in the present day and in the real-ish world. At some point, he’s going to see a news story about how a pizza parlor in a near-by blew up and put everyone in a coma during a comics-themed grad party.

  10. That’s “near-by town”. Also, the post office would get nailed and it would all be the fault of some whackjob on the evening news dressed up as a ficus.

  11. Rusty

    Usually I say I’m “Living the Dream” when I’m about to do something either mundane or disgusting, like cleaning the cat’s litter box. So Pete is either being sarcastic here, or he is truly living his dream. There’s a reason he’s never shown dating anyone.

  12. Gerard Plourde

    Montoni’s is certainly giving off a bar vibe in this strip. Funky drying a glass in panel 1 and it appears that there are three wine botttles on the shelf behind him in panel 2.

  13. 1. So Pete+Darrin flew from L.A. to Cleveland, rented a car, drove to Westview, so I guess the Flash Museum is within reasonable driving distance to Westview/Cleveland since it’s on the way??

    2. So this “Flash Museum” must be strictly invite-only since it’s close enough to Westview that every local has heard of it, but nobody has ever seen it?

    3. True to Funkyverse form, Pete didn’t stop in to check in on family and friends; he’s there just to boast about going to the Flash Museum… Silly me for thinking Pete Rattabastardo was a normal person who’d first try to impress folks with all the cool shit he’s seen/done/heard in Hollywood…

    4. So despite the fact that the studio is hard at work on the two SJ sequels, Pete+Darrin just get to take off for a romantic weekend getaway whenever they want to? Is their next trip going to be a cruise around the Atlantic so they can party with Aquaman and Namor? And just who is footing the bill for all this, anyway?

    5. I don’t give a rat’s ass how much of a virginal no-life comics geek someone is — At the end of the day, it’s still a goddamned museum and not Six Flags, the Playboy Mansion or even ComiCon… So why all the excitement?

    6. Has there ever been a character more disinterested and indifferent to his home family life than Darrin? I mean, his wife has to constantly give him ‘surprises’ like she’s a gameshow host just to make him show up? And when does his absentee fatherism start getting called out by other characters?

    7. I’d complain further, but we all know this is just a setup for Batiuk to show us a month of “Pete+Darrin: 1958” flashbacks…

  14. Professor Fate

    The only thing that amuses me is my wish that it turns out to be a museum dedicated to Adobe Flash or just a guy named Flash who specialized in carving turnips into busts of famous people. At least it would be something different.
    Honestly the Author makes me ashamed that I even read or enjoyed comic books.

  15. Epicus Doomus

    Professor Fate: LOL @ the Adobe Flash museum. “And here we have the very first Flash update nag screen…note how annoying it is!”.

  16. Charles

    It’s probably right here in America somewhere, so if visiting it drives Harry to high levels of ecstasy, then why haven’t you gone, Harry?

    Give the guy a break. He only makes $4.25/hour working for Gross John. That only goes so far considering his wife doesn’t work and he’s got three kids! He’s got old movies to go to and VCR cleaners to buy, after all!

  17. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Gerard Plourde: I thought of a bar room scene, too. If we’re lucky, Phunky will call Crazy Guggenheim out of the back room to favor us with a song.