Bored of the Rings

Today’s strip is about that dadgum decoder ring. Your mileage won’t vary, it WILL be low.

Jeff, quit teasing your wife and son with this appallingly uninteresting Starbuck Jones nostalgia trip and just tell your family what all of us readers already know the message on your phone says. You told two very interested parties that The Valentine may have gotten the miracle it needed to keep its doors open, and follow that up by leering creepily gazing at 60 year old toy that you got for free from a chocolate milk mix company.

Max, you gotta do better than this, man. If your dad knew the gibberish on his phone was the Starbuck Jones Junior Spaceman’s code then he’s a big enough nerd to know how to decipher it. He’s been waiting decades to show this stupid ring off and you are the one who had to go and give him the satisfaction.

Pam, you’re an enabler. Can’t really blame you for that, since every other woman in this universe apparently is as well.

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Bored of the Rings

  1. count of tower grove

    What’s up here? Twenty hours into the post, and I’m the first one to comment. If there’s something wrong with SoSF, let me know.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I love how BatNom felt compelled to explain why Jff is wearing that crappy old toy ring, as if it needed to be explained at all. I just assumed it was the same reason why this entire arc is centered around secret junior spaceman codes from the 1950s…that being BanTom’s bizarre fixation on old decoder rings and comic books from the 1950s. It’d honestly be more surprising if he WASN’T wearing a junior spaceman decoder ring.

    Imagine trying to explain this story to someone who knows nothing about FW or (ugh) Crankshaft. You know, 99.999999% of the population.

    “Wait…you mean he spent the entire week on that dumb old toy decoder ring? Why?”

    “Because he has this weird fixation on shit like that, I dunno.”

    “What is he, insane or something?”

    “(Shrug)…I suppose, in a way.”

  3. Spacemanspiff85

    You know, normally when people say they’re getting secret coded messages sent to them, it’s not charming or quirky at all, but a very bad sign. Just like when people have conversations with cat hallucinations whenever they’re under a little stress.

  4. billytheskink

    Jeff wearing his decoder ring on the middle finger. How appropriate…

    Though TB undoubtedly doesn’t realize it, this is basically like a 34 year old carrying around their pog collection or a 46 year old who never leaves home without their Stretch Armstrong.

  5. Rusty Shackleford

    Ah childhood nostalgia…it is best kept to yourself. When I was a kid , I was into model railroading. I loved building things, painting things, wiring things up. Today I still dabble with it…it is relaxing.

    BUT, I don’t badger my wife about it (nor does she bring cookies to the layout room), and unfortunately my niece and nephews aren’t into it. So when they sleep over I do something that THEY like to do. One of them likes drawing comics! But I encourage them to do develop fun hobbies that they enjoy. I want them to have their own happy memories.

    Batty just writes about what he likes, to hell with everyone else! And that is the problem.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    “Mason! Pete! Darin! Cliff! I’m getting a reply…but it’s…it’s…in some sort of code! Vera, your junior spaceman decoder ring!”

    “It says “yes you can hold the SJ premier here.”

    “Great! Hey, I have an idea! Write him back using the old SJ secret code!”

    “That’s a great idea! OK, here goes…..”

    (the following week)

    “Hold on! The SJ director replied to my message! But…but…it’s in some sort of secret code! Wait…that’s SJ junior spaceman code! My junior spaceman decoder ring will make short work of this.”

    “What does it say?”

    “Yes, OK, will be in touch soon re: details leaving for Ohio on Monday!”

    “Wow! Send him a thank you message! Wait…I know! Send it using the old SJ junior spaceman secret code!!!”

  7. And of course, we can’t have being a total freaking moron past his sell-by date obsessed with tawdry garbage and a spineless enabler wife without having a sane, lucid person being depicted as being from the Planet No-Good Punk Kids.

  8. Rusty

    They must have used a sturdier plastic in cheap kid’s toys back in the 50’s. It certainly wouldn’t have become brittle over all these years. Just dial that baby up, Fred.

  9. sgtsaunders

    I’m reasonably sure this has come up before, however, here goes. While Starbuck Jones seems to be a mashup of Star Wars and Indiana Jones, the reality might be that it’s a spacified Buck Jones. Buck Jones was a B-western movie star and early product endorser. Given TomBat’s weird sense of time, the Buck Jones thing fits with the Saturday matinee under-theme.

  10. timbuys

    I humbly disagree, Billy. Batiuk has gotten more mileage out of this ‘gag’ than any reasonable observer would have thought possible.

  11. Hitorque

    A grown ass old man wearing a toy decoder ring? What kind of red blooded Midwest American housewife doesn’t nag her husband until he’s too embarrassed and ashamed to even SAY the word ‘starbuck’?

  12. bobanero

    So, I think we would all agree that this message – “Yes, it’s a great idea for us to hold the world premier of an acclaimed science fiction fantasy movie in your crappy theater in Bumfuck, Ohio” is a pretty important message, and that it is critical that this message be received and understood in a timely manner. So, as charming as the idea of encoding the message using a 60 year old toy ring is, don’t you think it would be prudent not to assume that the party who is receiving this critical message has this ring handy and is able to decode the message?

  13. It’s not the most important thing here but … how does Jff know this is Starbuck Jones Code and not, like Li’l Orphan Annie Code or Red Ryder Code or Cinnamon Bear Christmas Code? Is there something distinct in the header?