Manos: The Hands Of Grate

Today’s strip finally gets to the point. Whatever.

All I see is a kid in a Davy Crockett coon-skin cap…
FWSmif

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20 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

20 responses to “Manos: The Hands Of Grate

  1. Epicus Doomus

    “That was the NFL commissioner! They’re holding the 2020 Super Bowl here! This might just save Westview Municipal Field!”

    “That was the surviving members of Led Zeppelin! They’re doing a reunion show here! This might just save the Harry L. Dinkle performing arts center!”

    “”That was NASA! They’re holding the launch here! This might just save the huge concrete slab on the outskirts of town!”

    “That was a customer! They ordered two pizzas! This might just save Montoni’s!”

    “That was Sloan Kettering! They’re building the new cancer hospital here! This might just save Lisa!”

    Ooops, scratch the last one, too late. What an ingenious business plan. Now if he could get EVERY studio to hold EVERY premier at the Valentine he’d be looking at some SERIOUS MONEY! And if EVERY small town movie house did this, our long national movie house nightmare might finally go away!

    How does this premier “save” the stupid Valentine anyway? This dolt will probably need to drop a bundle getting the place in shape for the crowd and whatnot, plus it’s just one night, one showing and that’s it. As soon as it’s over everyone will go right back to ignoring the stinky old Valentine again and Beardo will be struggling to keep the doors open, so all this is really creating is cruel false hope and one short evening of escapist fantasy before reality crushes his will and soul once more.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    This is how things always work out for these people. They sit around passive, doing nothing except bemoaning their fate, until something basically falls into their lap and saves them.

    • DOlz

      and then they complain because the thousand dollars they just got was in fifties instead of twenties.

  3. the dreamer

    not only the premiere but at the post show party at Montoni’s, I predict the triple three generation wedding of the century– Cliff Anger and Vera, Mason Jarr and Cindy, Corey Winkerbean and Rocky, with the grooms all dressed as Starbuck Jones, and the brides all getting Starbucks decoder rings as wedding rings

  4. Gerard Plourde

    ” That’s what heroes do.” BaTom’s favorite all-purpose meme. From Crazy Harry’s testimony about how reading comics saved his life to a Hollywood movie premiere saving a movie theater, he uses the same deus ex machina.

  5. billytheskink

    Yes, Max, the premiere of the film adaptation of a long-dormant and never ubiquitous comic book franchise is going save your theater…

    I’ll just leave Valerian‘s domestic box office receipts over here.

  6. Rusty

    Holy shot this sucks.

  7. SpacemanSpiff85

    They just put up that movie poster. And basically immediately random kids show up to lose their minds over it. How is it the theater is hurting for money, if they have that kind of crowd there? And if kids are that excited for Starbuck Jones, how is it not a movie franchise already?

  8. Epicus Doomus

    “So how’d the ol’ Valentine do?”

    “Well let’s see…OK…carry the five, overhead, FICA, general withholding…we made a net profit of $3001.07!”

    “How much is your loan payment?”

    “$3001! The Valentine is saved! Let’s go forget our cares and have some pizza!”

  9. Charles

    Wow. Everyone’s all morose and negative usually and then when something good, absolutely absurd and unbelievable happens, they all accept it without question. Yes, the hired director of a nine figure dollar movie really arranges things like the premiere through Twitter. This totally isn’t a joke! He wrote it in Official Starbuck Jones code!

    The Load was also lucky that Jff Mrdch had an official Ovaltine Starbuck Jones Decoder Ring from 1953 and that he would recognize that as such so he could decode that stupid tweet. I’m sure a movie studio would totally leave something as significant as planning their World Premiere to such random circumstances.

    “So, has this Jeff Murdoch guy replied to our message?”
    “Not yet. Maybe we shouldn’t have sent it in code.”
    “Ridiculous! He talked about how he watched the serial back in the ’50s! He must have a toy decoder ring from those days that he still wears around today at age 70 like a complete dipshit.”
    “So how many more days are we going to wait for him to respond?”
    “As long as it takes, baby!”
    “Oh well, no one goes to the movies in the summer anyway, I guess. Perhaps he’ll respond before Thanksgiving.”

  10. What was it Twain said about bad writing like this? Wasn’t it something about leaving miracles alone and not asking people to accept crass stupidities?

  11. Rusty Shackleford

    Both of his strips were self-defecating today!

  12. Jimmy

    Leaving aside the real inner workings of a studio as everyone mentioned, I imagine this will be like the Olympics, where it’s generally not worth the effort to host.

    Of course, this being FW, Montoni’s will cater the event; the Komix Korner will be offered millions for it’s collection (renewed national fervor in comic books, ya know); and Les will wax poetic about how this was really all because of him.

  13. Professor Fate

    Why is it that I find the most annoying thing about today’s strip are the two moppets losing their minds about the Starbuck Jones Serial movie poster? I mean there is so much to loathe but this specific detail just grates.

    • Charles

      Yep, I’m sure the little tykes would love a ten minute Flash Gordon rip-off from before their grandparents were born in black and white with special effects that cost about eight dollars. Kids love every single part of that.

      Obviously, after all the Avengers and Star Wars and Spiderman and Wonder Woman they’ve become jaded to massive FX budgets and hi-def. Nostalgia is a big part of a seven year-old’s life.

  14. They started reading the message yesterday while outside and they finished today inside?

    • Charles

      Well, keep in mind that as we’ve been shown before, Jff needed to get out a pencil and paper to decipher the code, working so hard that, Jordanesque, his tongue was sticking out of his mouth.

      It really only makes sense that this strip took place 6 hours after the last one.