0.5 POOR (PR)

Today’s Strip

Batuik, you can’t have it both ways. Chester Hagglemore already came to Westview for the FunkyDick crossover comics auction. And DSH John pointed him out to Dick Tracy there by sight.  Then he screamed down John’s fifty dollar bid with fifty thousand. Your reputation can’t proceed you to someplace you’ve already been to someone you’ve already met.

Also, while paying absolutely whatever it takes could be annoying to a person in a comic book bidding war with Mr. Chiseler, it’s pretty great for anyone SELLING them. His rep as a comic collector would be acidsniffingamazeballs for vendors in the komix biz. John and Harry should be slipping around the shop with a red pen, surreptitiously marking up prices. A rich nutter guy willing to outbid anyone anything anywhere anytime really shouldn’t be called Hagglemore.

Lets call him Chester Seemore instead. Since he apparently climbed a completely pitch black stairwell with no trouble at all. Seriously John, Harry…do you even WANT customers?


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

13 responses to “0.5 POOR (PR)

  1. billytheskink

    Looks like someone recently lost an auction for a Flash Gordon collection with Jungle Jim toppers…

    And yes, DSH and Crazy give every indication that don’t want customers. The only conceivable way to keep Komix Korner’s kash register as dusty as it is would be to actively prevent wallets from ever opening within the store’s walls. The ultimate example of this was when DSH was short on rent, forcing Funky to sell his copy of Starbuck Jones #1 in order to keep the lights on. Yeah, the landlord sold a comic book in order to keep both his and his tenant’s businesses afloat… his tenant’s business being the exact same thing he did to cover their overdue rent, selling comic books!

  2. countoftowergrove

    Are we to assume that Chester has the affectatious accent of a Charles Emerson Winchester III or a Jonathan Quayle Higgins?

  3. Epicus Doomus

    So I assume we’re supposed to hate Chester because he’s a wealthy comic book fan with the resources to pay top dollar for those rare old comic books that would be put to better use by “pure” (read: poor) comic book fans, such as TomBan. Kind of an elitist (not to mention obnoxious) take if you ask me. Who died and made Batiuk the living conscience of comic book collecting?

    Also bear in mind that Holly paid for the Dick Tracy collection, a huge stash of classic comic books that a) John couldn’t afford and b) he’s currently trying to sell. To comic book collectors with money. Did I hear someone say Batom wants it both ways…again? When Holly went all-out to collect comic books she was a hero, yet Chester is a heel for doing the exact same thing. I guess it’s the mustache.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Here’s the origin for Chester. I’d bet money on this.
    A couple years back, Batiuk was lurking around a booth at a comics convention, selling some comics he’d been dying to read since he was a kid. I’m guessing Flash comics. Sadly, they were out of his price range. Still, he spent quite a bit of time talking to the seller about how much he loved the Flash, and how he used to hang out in his attic reading the Flash and his mom brought him cookies and milk, hoping the seller would just give him the comics.
    Then a bald guy with a silly mustache came by and bought the comics Batiuk wanted, and this apparently scarred him for life, so he created Chester as an act of revenge. Hilariously though, since we’re probably the only ones who read this strip anymore, his revenge will never be noticed, just like his revenge against whoever inspired Bull and every girl who rejected Batiuk back in high school.

  5. The nerve of him, running around yelling “Shut up and take my money!!!” and being a vocal fan! Doesn’t he realize that ‘real’ comics collectors are supposed to be broke off their ass and moaning about persecution?

  6. Skunkhead John and Crazy Harry probably don’t want customers. Otherwise they wouldn’t smirk as Crazy insults a man who could throw a lot of money their way.

    As for Chester’s smirk, I hope it means he went to the bank, paid off all sixteen mortgages on the Komix Korner, and now owns it outright Chester is going to give Skunkhead one minute to vacate the premises, after which he will claim all his comic books and “collectibles” as his.

  7. Rusty Shackleford

    We get it Batty, rich = bad. Though I am sure you are always ready to auction your work off for top dollar.

    Didn’t the Simpsons do a bit where a rich guy buys a rare comic just to destroy it in front of the comic book guy?

  8. Greedy, rich komix kollectors are bad. That is, unless their purchases support worthy causes such as engagment rings for Iraquistan vets or rescuing Funky’s and John’s businesses. Got it.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Think about how totally ridiculous this attitude is in any other context. In BanTom’s world, little kids have Honus Wagner baseball cards on the spokes of their bikes, they’re using first-press Beatles records as frisbees and they’re dropping 1804 silver dollars in the nearest vendos.

      And why is he named “Hagglemore”? He doesn’t “haggle” at all, he just throws money at everything.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Hagglemore…another one of those dopey names Batty came up with after thinking about it for 5sec. And we are supposed to be in awe of his creativity.