Critical Mess

Link To Today’s Strip

Pete meeting up with a girl seems “serious” to Jessica? Again, it’s difficult to imagine how her standards could be much lower, unless she started dating Les or something. Boy Lisa didn’t even remotely indicate that anything “serious” was happening but doormats are gonna doormat, I suppose.

“Critical mass” normally means something entirely different in the Funkyverse. Don’t take my word for it, just go ask Lisa, as she’s due to pop up again at pretty much any time now. So this marks the end of week six (correction: seven) and we STILL have no idea whether they accepted the offer or not. Excluding Sundays there have been 78 FW strips so far this year and this arc has accounted for 42 of them. That’s right, he’s spent more than half of 2018 thus far on a job interview and we still don’t know how it turned out. Unbelievable. The last non Atomic Comics week was that Claude Barlow Dinkle nonsense back in early February, which seems like many lifetimes ago.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

14 responses to “Critical Mess

  1. billytheskink

    Just a reminder, “that girl he met at the ‘Starbuck Jones’ premiere” is Jessica’s cousin and also dated one of Durwood’s best friends for a year and a half back in high school…

    • Epicus Doomus

      Once again he totally ignores the connections he went out of his way to create “back in the day”. Mindy is now “that SJ girl”, as apparently we’re now pretending that Act II never happened, except for the Lisa crap.

  2. Just keep breathing in slow, regular breaths,and remember: ALL the characters that Tom Batiuk places on the board are ALL horrible monstrosities. There’s no choosing a “good one” because there ain’t no good ones.
    Honestly, I’d like to thank Tom Batiuk for showing that awful characters cannot be redeemed through any methods, And for proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that trolling after awards will just destroy what you had in your hands.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    How serious can it be if Darin doesn’t even think her name is worth mentioning? Also, this is Pete. The only women he’s serious with are plastic statues. Excuse me, “dollies”.

  4. ian'sdrunkenbe

    I told you peet and that girl were sexting!

    Panel 3 today:

    “Things are starting to reach UH! UH! UH! critical OHH GOD! MASS! Ooohh..”

    “You pig! Couldn’t you wait until we got out of the foyer? I’m not washing those pants. Is that Montoni’s pizza I smell on your breath? You know your mother is cooking dinner.”

    “Don’t call her that!”

  5. I remember what Dave Barry said about “Candy Man”: “If this does not make you root for nuclear war, you are not human.” This stupid arc makes me think of the song because I’d rather move next door to Chernobyl than watch another crappy courtship between smirking nonentities.

  6. So, the first thing she asks is NOT “How did the meeting go?” or “What was up with that Chester guy?” or “You know what Skyler did when you were out?”
    No, no, of course not. It’s “Where’s Pete?”

    • Epicus Doomus

      Jessica appears to be relieved that Boy Lisa even bothered coming home at all. Easy to please, that one is. IMO perhaps it’s time for BatNard to abandon his female characters as anything but background, lest someone notices his total inability to write for them and construes it as a “world view” instead of simple ineptitude, which of course it is.

      Ha! Just kidding…no one’s ever noticing FW.

  7. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Where’s ‘Pete’?”

    “He took off to see that dumb icky ‘girl’ he met at the ‘Starbuck Jones’ premier.”

    “It’s just ‘weird’ to see one of you without ‘the’ other.”

    “And you are who?”

    “I can’t tell you. That would make this storyline move somewhere.”

  8. DOlz

    I’ll give TB a months pass on criticism if one of three things happens when Mopey shows up at Mindy’s place:

    1) She has no idea who he is

    2) Her husband answers the door

    3) Chris Hansen answers the door

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Yes, second panel Blondie McBighair looks exactly like first panel Duuuhhhren, but with a wig. It’s called “drawing after sniffing cheap hair dye for an hour.”

    Batty is working on a storyline where it’s revealed that Bighair and Dullard are actually brother and sister. He “forgot” to tell us Dead St Lisa and Frankie actually had an ongoing relationship, and she got pregnant twice.

    Nobody notices Skylark’s inbred DNA until they realize he’s still not talking at age seven, and he develops an amazing talent for playing the banjo.