Schlock And Roll

Link To Today’s Strip

Vomit, barf, retch, yuck. The single most nauseating FW strip of all time this arc. Not only do we STILL not know whether they’re accepting the Atomic Comics gig, but now, EIGHT WEEKS into this thing, we’re suddenly forced to endure this idiotic “romance” and Pete’s bizarre (and extremely disturbing) facial contortions too. I mean seriously, what the hell is he supposed to be doing there in panel three, impressing her with his terrific Bell’s Palsy impersonation?

It’s almost difficult to believe how he’s suddenly turned the entire strip over to these two horrid, boring and loathsome characters. Pete and Boy Lisa don’t merit eight weeks a decade, much less eight weeks in a row. It’s tough to remember an arc this long where so little has happened. I mean of course there are probably several thousand arcs that fit that description but I can’t remember any of them right now.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

33 responses to “Schlock And Roll

  1. countoftowergrove

    Yes, we are now into the seventh week. One notable thing about Mopey Pete these days: he’s expanded his wardrobe to at least two other shirts.

    • Epicus Doomus

      This is week eight, it began on February 12 with Chester’s visit to the Korner. The really alarming thing about this one is that apparently he believed THIS arc is the one he had to run uninterrupted even though absolutely nothing is happening that couldn’t have been neatly wrapped up in a week or two.

  2. redsnifit

    Batiuk really needs to stop drawing Pete with those bags under his eyes, in panel 3 he looks like he shot some meth before he saw Mindy.

    Hasn’t it been about seven and a half months in real life since the Starbucks Jones premiere? The implication here is that this has all progressed in real time, and Pete did actually spend an entire week or so listening to Chester blather.

    • Saturnino

      OK, I get the bags thing, but to whom is he giving the flowers?
      That’s not Mindy, unless a plastic surgery spirit has moved over the darkness of the waters called Centerville since the last Mindy featured arc.

      • Saturnino

        And the spirit looked at what it had done and said, “Oh shyte, this is going to go on for near another five years???!!!!!”

      • hitorque

        Yeah I was about to mention that, too… This Mindy looks early 30s while the last version looked like 21-year-old jailbait…

        As an aside, how the hell does Cancer County, Ahia have more tall, lithe blondes per capita than Stockholm and Copenhagen put together? Or does Batiuk just really really really love drawing them??

      • Charles

        It was not too long ago (last three years or so) when Mindy was shown still living with her parents. She was a reactive character to some stupid thing her father was doing, I think, and she was watching television like the slack, unemployed thirty-something she should be.

        I know she was also the woman who gave Holly one of the Starbuck Jones comic books, but that’s not the strip I’m referring to. There’s another, more recent one where Mindy was in the background watching TV while her dad did some dipshit thing he’s always doing.

  3. I’d love it if she said “You? Again?” and shot him in the chest. With a flame-thrower, or a very pistol.

    But no, the guy’s a goddam comic book writer, so of course he’s an angel sent to earth.

    Tom Batiuk can’t retire soon enough.

    • Epicus Doomus

      It seems that ALL of Westview (and wherever this one is taking place) has fallen into a weird 1950s nostalgia reverie, a world where a fella courtin’ his lady friend strolls right on up to her ol’ screen door with a big ol’ bouquet in his hand and knocks in a neighborly manner. I assume he’s going to ask her out for a soda down at the malt shop tomorrow followed by a formal date at the local sock hop IF Pete can convince his dad to loan him his new Studebaker for the evening. If he does, watch out, as he’ll be up to his pocket comb in well-turned ankle after they head up to Lookout Point to listen to Wolfman Jack on the radio.

  4. DOlz

    Well Epicus it looks like you’ve got a rough week ahead of you. I don’t envy your task.

    • Epicus Doomus

      I’ve taken plenty of FW bullets and I’ll gladly take another for the opportunity to make fun of this comic strip. He’s not getting away with it, not as long as I’m still breathing. But I appreciate the concern!

      • The Nelson Puppet

        As President John F. Kennedy once said on September 12, 1962 at Rice University: “But why, some say, make fun of Funky Winkerbean? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?

        We choose to make fun of Funky Winkerbean. We choose to snark on Tom Batiuk in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”

  5. billytheskink

    I once had a first date where I hooked up a girl’s stereo receiver and then awkwardly sat on the opposite end from her on her couch watching syndicated prime time programming on a UHF station.

    It was a million times more romantic than this.

  6. spacemanspiff85

    If only Batiuk was clever, then we wouldn’t be subjected to crap like this. What even is supposed to be funny here?

  7. At least things are happening with My Grandfather The Old Bus Driver Whose Name I Forget. Granted, it’s just Cranky going bonkers ordering from seed catalogs again but at least he’s doing something. If Zippy The Wonder Slug and Derpwood were any more inert, they’d be declared legally dead.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    Is Mindy, who’s the same age as Pete and Darin, still living with her parents?

    And, if he’s decided that the Pete/Mindy romance is the theme for the entire year, the least he could do is to provide backstory to give depth to his characters. But that would cut into the time spent reading and analyzing Silver Age issues of The Flash.

    • bobanero

      Well, seeing as last time we saw Mindy she was apparently working as a ticket-taker at the Valentine, which is at best a minimum wage job, it should not come as a surprise that she’s living at home. I think it was mentioned that she had worked as a waitress at Montoni’s some time in the past, which pretty much represents the glass ceiling for careers for young women in the Funkiverse.

  9. sgtsaunders

    Meanwhile … Mistah Funky, he dead. The horror. … the horror….

  10. redsnifit: Batiuk really needs to stop drawing Pete with those bags under his eyes…

    Seriously. Pete is starting to resemble a late-career Moe Howard.

  11. Don’t worry I’m sure she’ll die from cancer, and Pete will discover she had a complete collection of some other lame Bantom comic we’ll end up seeing covers for all year long.

  12. Eldon of Galt

    Lots of good points being made today. Pete with the baggiest eyes in human history. “Mindy” in no way resembling the Mindy of seven months ago. Just like to add in that the first panel seems to be going for a big dose of Pete as “slack-jawed yokel”. Just when we thought he couldn’t get even more repellent. Jeez, what a damn mess this whole thing is.

  13. hitorque

    Is there any doubt that their hot “seven-and-a-half month” anniversary dinner will be at Montoni’s even though Pete just had lunch there?

    And how the hell have they kept a long-distance relationship for this long? I’ve even seen celibate virgins say “Fuck it, this is not worth it” after like month #4… Has nobody told Batiuk that the modern LDR became passe’ after the 90s? We’re an instant gratification society for a reason!

  14. Professor Fate

    I do so want Mindy to soak Pete down with mace then turn back into the house and say “Call the police I got the stalker.”
    It’s as I’ve said before, the romantic in me.
    Dealing with the real strip – dear lord what in god’s green earth does she see in this man? A hint would be nice. But no she seem utterly taken by a whiny man child who is about to leave a well paying job to write vanity press comic books for rich person whose nickname is ‘the Chiseler”.
    Really did either of these brain surgeons take that into account?
    Is this the most pointless FW arc since the Last Leaf book tour?

    • I do wonder if, should Pete and Dullard agree to run Chester’s comic book company, what will happen when they ask for their paychecks.
      “Paychecks? You want to be paid for working on comic books? Why, working on comic books is its own reward!”

    • Hannibal's Lectern

      “I do so want Mindy to soak Pete down with mace…

      I do believe that happened somewhere between the second and third panels. There’s no other explanation for MOEpy (thanx TFH) Pete’s sudden loss of facial-muscle control, not to mention his slurred non-sequitur.

      Except, maybe, nerve gas. Will MIndy turn out to be a Russian agent? We can only hope…

  15. Epicus Doomus

    It really is unbelievable. Entire seasons have come and gone during this arc. The friggin’ Super Bowl was played eight days before this thing began and I guarantee you’ll see a first round NFL draft choice injured and out for the 2018 season before it finally ends.

  16. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    I’m amazed we’re seeing MP at Mindy’s house. I thought today today’s strip would show MP and Durwood eating pizza at Montoni’s. MP would be telling about his visit to Mindy , while Crazy and Funky eavesdrop.

    “It’s how I roll.” Is that what cool forty-somethings are saying these days?

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      That Batty! He’s not just the Lord Of Language, he’s the Son Of God of Language!

  17. Charles

    It’s almost difficult to believe how he’s suddenly turned the entire strip over to these two horrid, boring and loathsome characters

    I think Pete and Darin have become the two sides of Batiuk’s author avatar, a role that Funky and Les have inhabited. Unlike the previous pairing, however, Batiuk doesn’t feel contempt for either of these guys.

    Pete’s the repository for Batiuk’s insecurities. He’s a writer but he’s unattractive and put-upon and a bit hapless, but in a way that Batiuk believes makes him charming. Darin’s the all-American boy who represents Batiuk as he dreams he is, with the job as an artist who never receives negative feedback, who’s blond and supposed to be good-looking, with the compliant, beautiful blonde wife who supports him in whatever he does and does precisely what he wants.

  18. Charles

    Also, I love the terrible background blending that make it look as if the house is on a small island in the middle of the ocean, with nothing but grey seas for miles around.

  19. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Duuuhhhren told me the only way he’d kick out that woman who hangs around his house — and that snot nosed kid of hers — and marry me is if I first tried a woman. So here are some flowers. Interested?”

    “No. You’re an ugly little baggy eyed creep with bad hair who reads comic books and plays with dolls. When I first met you, I thought you were awake for 72 straight hours working on the movie, and didn’t have time to get an adult haircut or bathe. Now I see you always look and smell like this. Frankly, you’re kinda gross.”

    “Good ANNNNSWERRRRRRRR!” 🎶🎶🌈🌈🌈🌈💖💖💖💖🎶🎶