Cross Purposes

You’ve Been Warned

This is as bad as FW gets. Wry “flirtatious” banter, uncontrollable smirking AND that shitty old broken down movie house, all seemingly designed and engineered to disrupt and irritate the human digestive system in a whole host of nauseating ways. It’s just repugnant. The jerk drives to Ohio all the way from Hollywood and the best “date” idea he can muster is to drag her off to that stinky old movie house…where she works, no less. Let me tell you this: if they go to see some decrepit old 1950s serial comic book flick I WILL burn mid-central Ohio to the ground.

I really hate how all FW “flirting” ALWAYS involves this sort of cynical disingenuous banter, like they’re locked into some deranged “battle of the sexes” contest to see who can be the most wry. Everyone’s a sarcastic smirking dick and apparently it’s supposed to be cute and adorable but all it ever does is enrage me. “Free passes”…come on, what could it possibly cost to see a movie in that dilapidated old dump, four or five bucks max? Pete just wrote a gigantic Hollywood summer blockbuster and he can’t break a twenty taking his dream girl to the movies…and she LIKES IT! In my opinion BatNom really needs to get out more…or maybe stay in more, I don’t know.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

21 responses to “Cross Purposes

  1. billytheskink

    I was going to say that I don’t blame Pete on this because the only other businesses in Centerville are Dale Evans and the bowling alley but, yeah, both of those are better date night options than The Valentine.

  2. Gerard Plourde

    What a cheapskate! If we’re to believe the rest of Pete’s background, he’s now a Hollywood scriptwriter who’s just finished a blockbuster that’s successful enough to have spawned sequels. And this guy has the temerity to suggest going to a theater where his girlfriend can get them in free. They are both in their 30’s at minimum. At the least he should be taking her to dinner in a good restaurant in Cleveland, not acting like they’re impoverished college students.

    • countoftowergrove

      A good restaurant in Cleveland, would that be the diner in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

      • Gerard Plourde

        Having only been through on the train, I don’t know the restaurant scene. A quick web search turned up Aldo’s, Chez Francois, and Dante’s in a list of top restaurants. Heck, he should have enough money to reserve the entire Silver Grille (no decoder rings allowed) for a private dinner.

    • hitorque

      Don’t forget he’s the lead writer for an **OSCAR NOMINATED** movie that permanently broke all the box office records…

      Oddly enough, we never revisited how many Oscars SJ actually won, and let us pray that TB doesn’t revisit it.

    • hitorque

      I know in TB’s mind this is how to show his characters still cling to their humble, low-class, one-stoplight-smalltown roots, and how “the money didn’t change them,” or whatever bullshit point he’s trying to make…

      Of course this never works, and that’s why there is this mental disconnect watching the characters in say Judge Parker/Rex Morgan live like middle-class normals when the decades of past storylines must mean they’ve amassed billions of dollars that they must hoard in some secret bank in Panama….

  3. Jimmy

    I hate these characters and their creator.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Remember how Les took Cayla to Montoni’s for their dates? While he was working at Montoni’s? I notice a pattern here.

  5. You know who’s looking good right now? Chien, for getting away from this pathetic wiener and his world of smirking and being cheap and opportunistic.

  6. DOlz

    Boy oh boy TB, I can’t wait for the next installment of “Dork and Mindy”!!

    Oh wait I forgot sarcasm is wasted on TB and cats.

  7. bobanero

    It’s no wonder that The Valentine Theater is on the verge of bankruptcy, when even its biggest supporters worm out of paying a couple of bucks for a ticket. He’ll probably bring in his own popcorn too. What are the chances that this date either begins or ends (or both) at Montoni’s, even though it’s in a different town.

  8. hitorque

    Yeah… That whole “show your creative ingenuity by hustling a free date” -thing stops being charming to women once you get out of college…

  9. Professor Fate

    So are they going to go Dutch on the popcorn?
    Gad these people.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Oh, come on. Obviously Mindy’s paying for that. You can’t expect Pete to come up with the idea AND pay.

  10. comicbookharriet

    Was away from a computer yesterday, but just wanted to comment that Pete seems to have given his Lady Love a funeral arrangement.

    Plants in Basket=Sorry About Your Loss.