Brother Popcorn

Link To Today’s Strip

At least we weren’t forced to endure watching these two imbeciles interacting with the ticket person, as he’s thoughtfully skipped ahead to the popcorn purchase. Who on God’s green earth would dare to eat ANYTHING from that crappy old movie house? I remember when “The Valentine” was a “last chance” dump that only showed films no one in their right mind would pay to see, but now suddenly it’s a bustling local theater with a functioning snack bar and everything. Good for the f*cking Valentine. I have never yearned to see a building leveled by falling space junk more than I do right now.

Pete “thoughtfully” remembered how she likes her popcorn…whoop-dee-damn-do. It’d be one thing if she always ordered it with saffron and shaved truffles, but it’s salt and butter…as if there’s any other kind. Pete gives off an air of sexual desperation that’s palpable, unless of course you reside in this bizarre soul-deadening part of Ohio, that is.




Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Brother Popcorn

  1. Gerard Plourde

    Things that move faster than this “plot”:

    Grass growing
    Paint drying
    Water wearing away rock

    At this rate, The Author could be awarded his 50th anniversary Golden T-Square before the double-feature is over.

  2. Well, I guess that’s one way to illustrate the definition of “imbecilic.”

  3. countoftowergrove

    Salt and butter. C’mon we know it’s not butter! It’s oil with buttery flavor.
    BTW, at home my popcorn is salt, pepper, Parmasan and butter.

  4. The Dreamer

    Has there been an artist change this week? I’m detecting slight changes in the way Pete is drawn

  5. countoftowergrove

    The way Mindy is hugging that popcorn bucket I don’t think Mopey’s gonna get any.

  6. billytheskink

    My dad worked for a grocery store. I didn’t take dates there. That would have been stupid. Like this scene is.

  7. spacemanspiff85

    What is it with Batiuk’s women having that terrible hair? She looks identical to Lisa, basically.

  8. spacemanspiff85

    Also, where the hell was Mindy that the popcorn toppings were a surprise to her? Did Pete have her go stand by herself where she couldn’t see or hear him? “Stand back, little lady, while us menfolk handle us some commerce.” (Oh man, I hope there’s not a ring in the popcorn).

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      Peet is more likely to go with the old hole-in-bottom-of-the-popcorn trick. It doesn’t cost any money, plus it worked great the last time he did it to Durwood.

  9. Jimmy

    Whatever happened to dinner and a movie? Was Montoni’s closed?

  10. Is no one going to cover how heinous it is to make her kid brother her boyfriend’s wingman?

    • hitorque

      All Funkyverse courtships are twisted and sick… We still never gave full justice to Cindy Sommers progression of eavesdropping reporter to groupie wearing a “fuck me” dress to a news interview to stalker to”If I get my hooks into a movie star, then that will mean TIME HAS NO MEANING TO ME AND I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL!!” to “I’m so happy and I’m so better than those mortals back in Ahia!” to hyper-jealous paranoid harpy who interrupts a movie shoot because her fiance kissed his co-star female lead…

  11. sgtsaunders

    Meanwhile, Funky remains on his death bed (or his ignoring the shit out of Holly bed). In either case, this is shameful to leave the titular character sitting in limbo, presumably waiting for the dice to fall.

  12. bobanero

    So Peat and Mindy enter the theater with free passes, and probably get popcorn and soda for free because “your money’s no good here” or something. Mindy is impressed because Peat “remembers” that the way she likes her popcorn is the same way that 80% of people like their popcorn. What’s next – “You remembered that I like pepperoni on my pizza”? Seriously, if these two have really been in a long distance relationship for 7 1/2 months, they wouldn’t be going out to a cheesy movie theater, they’d more likely be doing “Netflix and Chill”.

  13. hitorque

    Is there something wrong with me in wanting a real-life Funkyverse woman for myself? Attractive, sexy, low maintenance, patient, 100% compliant, always laughs at my awful jokes, easy to please, and she has her expectations set SO low that anything I do for her might as well be like her birthday and New Year’s Eve combined….

    • DOlz

      I’d say you’re describing the women in “The Stepford Wives”, but they had more personality and stood up for themselves more.

      • Jimmy

        Seriously, how boring would that be? One of the intriguing aspects about my wife (and hopefully it’s reciprocal) is that she’s always challenging and teaching me things.

  14. Professor Fate

    Really unless she’s planning on selling his kidneys to black market organ dealers I can’t see any reason she’s a) dating this guy or b) Charmed that he remembered her regular popcorn order (which is about the same as oh millions of people.) Had she wanted the Hummingbird tongue garnish well then that would be something but no salt and butter (oil really) like everybody else.

    • Charles

      And later, when they go to Montoni’s, (because of course they will) she’ll be charmed that he remembered that she likes her pizza with cheese and tomato sauce on it.