Seven And A Half And Seven And A Half Is…

Link To Today’s Atrocity

So, it takes the “average woman” seven-and-a-half months to lose sexual interest in Pete? Hmmm, see, I would have guessed seven-and-a-half seconds but perhaps these Westview/Centerville women are a little slow on the uptake. Apparently she’s all a-flutter over how Pete is willing to throw away a wildly lucrative career just to be “near her”, which tells you plenty about how long it’s been since BatWrite has interacted with any women.

And what is Pete even talking about here? They haven’t been “dating” for seven-and-a-half months, in fact THIS is technically their “first date”. Thus according to my calculations Pete should be comfortably sexless by mid-November or so, which will be right around when this arc hits the halfway mark…IF we’re lucky. And I’ve been doing this long enough to know we won’t be.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

26 responses to “Seven And A Half And Seven And A Half Is…

  1. billytheskink

    So… why did Mindy break up with Mooch Meyers again? He’s basically Pete (comic book geek), but smarter, less creepy, and with a better haircut.

    It’s cute that Pete thinks he’s been in a relationship… or that he’s anyone’s friend.

    • Epicus Doomus

      IMO it’s really f*cking weird how Batiuk pretends that vast wide swaths of the strip never happened. This Mindy person is suddenly “that girl from the Valentine” and Pete is a mush-mouthed post-adolescent, which totally ignores a solid twenty years of the strip. Few if any comic strips require as much “back story” knowledge as this one does, yet the bulk of that knowledge is completely useless depending on BatNom’s mood.

  2. spacemanspiff85

    I’m really thinking that Batiuk does not understand “friend zone”.

    • Charles

      I’d say it’s just as likely that he doesn’t understand how misogynistic the concept of “friend zone” is. He has a view that flows from exclusively male assumptions and desires about relationships, and doesn’t recognize how that diminishes women and their feelings. What Pete’s done here is incredibly crass by saying it right in front of a woman he likes.

      The concept of “Friend Zone” implies that friendship with a woman is inherently valueless. It means nothing and is worth nothing if it’s not part of her giving the man access to her pussy. (And before anyone downvotes me for such language, this is precisely the disrespectful language that’s used when someone talks about being “friend zoned”) That’s why a guy is “banished” there, as Pete has phrased it. It’s something wholly undesirable.

      Plus, there’s that Pete feels that women who “banish him to the friend zone” deny him something to which he’s entitled. He’s entitled to sex with Mindy! After all, he bought her flowers and took her to dinner and a movie! What was the point of all that if she wasn’t going to reward him with sex? It’s even more crass and insulting in the strip recently where Pete told Jessica, his best friend’s wife for Christ’s sake, that she was constantly doing it in high school. He felt that she was constantly denying sex (or romance, I guess) to all those boys who were entitled to her, because they did something nice for her for which they deserved that reward, or simply because they wanted her. From the way Pete talks about it, Jessica constantly moved past the point where she could refuse them. She had to put out or she was being cruel to them.

      Anyway, yeah, I can believe that Batiuk thinks that Pete doing nice things for Mindy or treating her decently leads to him deserving sex from her. I just don’t believe he’s thought through the full implications of what he’s having Pete say. And we’ll know because Mindy won’t raise an objection to Pete looking at their relationship in such a transactional fashion.

      Also, why the hell isn’t the prospect of Mindy moving out to LA to be with Pete being floated? What’s keeping her in Ohio? What’s so great that it’s better for Pete to give up his job and move back? It sure as hell isn’t the scut work she’s doing for her brother’s stupid movie theater, which is the only thing she’s ever been shown doing.

      • Epicus Doomus

        And Charles nails it. The whole thing is so adolescently creepy and childish. Pete oafishly bumbles through his pathetic attempts to impress (read: get sex from) Mindy and she finds his pitiful desperation cute and endearing, which is pretty much the template almost every relationship in the Funkyverse follows.

        And not only that, but his decision directly impacts Darin, Jessica and their son in a major way. They’ll have to move again AND face a potentially huge pay cut, all because Pete’s dying to “get some”. He’s been on ONE date with this woman yet she’s apparently the fulcrum this entire decision centers upon. It’s inconceivably selfish and childish. Pete is one of the most obnoxious characters in the strip.

        • Gerard Plourde

          Absolutely right. The problem has another dimension as well. The reason he doesn’t see the impact the decision to quit screenwriting has on Darin et al is because none of his characters are more than objects to move around to suit his plot lines. A good writer creates characters that have real personalities and attributes that contribute to the direction of the plot.

          A writer sees the situation created by Pete’s decision and the conflicts it causes as an opportunity to flesh out his characters. Batiuk did attempt this to an extent in Act II, but fled from it after he killed off Lisa, age-jumping everyone ten years to avoid the rich vein of material that was available in exploring the consequences of Lisa’s death (it could have even humanized Les).

          Perhaps it’s telling that Chester (and apparently Batiuk in real life) long for the return of the simpler plots of the Golden and Silver Ages.

          • As is evidenced by his whining about how terrible it is that Marvel Comics insisted that their characters be more than plot devices and quip robot. There’s a reason that his take on the Web-Slinger is why Batom Comics went boom-boing-bonk: he blames Spidey for the advent of the darkness that is “actions having semi-lasting consequences” like “someone dying because a goof in a zentai suit forgot the laws of physics for a second.”

          • LTPFTR

            I don’t often come to a comics blog for trenchant social commentary, but we live in weird times. Well done here!

        • hitorque

          Nevermind the fact that Pete is what, 37-38 years old?? Being “friend zoned” is something that happens to 18-23 year-olds…

      • Batiuk is incapable of seeing how wrong the male characters are because he’s always going to be that useless little puke who thinks that it was suppsedly the fulfillment of his late mother’s being to hand him cookies and milk as he reads funny books. The reason Jfff’s mother was a toxic monster is that Mrs Batiuk made baffling noise about being a person in her own right. The idea that a woman is ‘allowed’ to control her own body is cruel and unfair because he’s a monster who needs to be castrated with a weed-eater.

      • gleeb

        What’s keeping her in Ohio is that she has to regularly visit her speechless, motionless grandfather at Bedside Manor (and isn’t that name funnier every time you see it?). Why her brother can’t do that, I don’t know, but have my suspicions.

      • Professor Fate

        I’m not sure Pete wants sex seeing as he’s such a man child – I suspect he wants the ultimate in the Funkyverse he wants a woman to bring him milk and cookies while he reads his comic books or hot cocoa while he writes. I can see that – sex not so much.

    • hitorque

      Are you accusing Thomas “Kill Fee” Batiuk of using things he doesn’t fully understand as cheap plot devices??

    • comicbookharriet

      While I’ve heard the ‘friend zone’ used by the prototypical semi-strawman but sometimes-real ‘toxic masculine’ man who rants about alpha-beta-cuck entitlement nonsense, I’ve definitely more often seen it used benignly. And sometimes by both genders. There usually is a point in dating where someone realizes that, while the other person is nice, but the attraction just isn’t there, and it’s super awkward. I’ve friendzoned my share of guys, and I own it. The term empowers me! I revel in it! We all have the power to put anyone we want into the Friendzone! No can make you feel in a relationship without your consent!

      And I would friendzone the F88k out of this evil cross between a Hootin-Holler character and an emo-seven year old.

      • I think this is more in line with what Batiuk is going on about. Actually, I think he just believes that “Friend Zone” is a hilarious variation on football’s “end zone” and, much like using the Beatles as a ringtone, he’s going to keep repeating it until someone else laughs.

      • Charles

        I’m sure it can be used benignly to describe the concept that a person you want to have sex with has decided that they don’t want to have sex with you and yet you still decide to remain friends. That certainly is something that happens. I’m not sure the concept requires a special designation, however. It’s a pretty common, unremarkable human interaction.

        Which is why in the second and third paragraphs of my comment, I made specific mention of how Pete refers to being “banished” there. That’s not benign. “Banishment” in the literal sense is a life-destroying sentence that’s given to you. It’s not a benign gesture from a woman. It’s a cruel and brutal punishment. Since it’s about a woman’s decision to not have sex with a man, it’s steeped in entitlement and misogyny. She’s being cruel because she won’t have sex with you after all you’ve done for her. She’s hit the point where she no longer has the choice to refuse without being cruel.

        As for Batiuk’s use of it, I’m sure that he’s not fully conscious of the gross history of this concept because he never actually investigates or researches anything. But I’m also sure that his obdurate inability to consider a situation, especially THIS situation, from a woman’s point of view also contributes to this portrayal.

  3. DOlz

    Today’s tip of the felt pen goes to Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” in panel two.

  4. Most women cut this rancid boil on the buttocks of humanity out of their lives for a good reason: “once a creep….always a creep.”

  5. bobanero

    If Mindy has any self respect at all, she’ll excuse herself to go to the restroom and never come back.

  6. Holy shit, Epicus, is the post title a reference to Arthur Lee and Love? Boom bip bip boom bip bip yeah!

    • Epicus Doomus

      Of course…and it’s doubly apt because much like Arthur Lee, Pete & Mindy are “in love”! Get it????

    • Professor Fate

      Small trivial fact – Johnny Ramone cited this song as one of the sources for his guitar style.

      • Epicus Doomus

        The Ramones covered this song on the “Acid Eaters” album.

        • Professor Fate

          Ack I forgot that – not my favorite album by the boys I must say. albums of covers seem to say “hey we’re out of ideas” most of the time.

  7. Hannibal's Lectern

    Is it just my hopeful imagination, or does Mindy actually look angry in the last panel?