Off you go, into the mild new blunder

Mr. Director (Martin Johns) doesn’t even feign disappointment in today’s strip, as Pete and Durwood officially quit the Hollywood jobs they never much actually did. In fact, he seems thoroughly excited to be rid of these two sacks of misshapen rocks.

It is one of the most understandable moments in recent Funky Winkerbean history. You can see the relief washing over him, finally losing these two deadweights without having to incur any pushback from Mason. I expect it is like the feeling when an awful coworker, one who could never get fired because of a relation/connection to upper management, decides to leave. Mr. Johns is one of the least disagreeable shmucks in the recent history of this comic strip and I’m almost happy for him today.

Pete and Durwood… Atomic Comics… movie rights… CME’s sudden shortage of Cecile B. DeMille-era director’s chairs… Don’t care.

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23 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

23 responses to “Off you go, into the mild new blunder

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Just wait until tomorrow, when Mason announces he’ll be joining them as a model for their comics.

  2. billytheskink

    Nice shirt Mr. Director… For this exit interview, did Pete and Durwood pull you out of the bowling alley or did they break up a rehearsal session of your Smashmouth cover band?

  3. redsnifit

    I was expecting them to run up against contracts that say they can’t up and leave for at least another movie, but then I remembered that being offered a job as a comic artist is the FW equivalent to being the first astronaut on Pluto or the like. Poor Generic BossGuy is going to cry himself to sleep tonight, cursing the circumstances that made him a mere multi-million movie director.

  4. Rusty Shackleford

    A real twofer of stupidity from ol Batty Boy. Two doofuses quit their Hollywood job to be Hagglemore’s slaves, while over on Crankshaft, a doofus old lady makes the two hour drive to Columbus to ask how one publishes a book.

    Deep, rich, engaging stories. At least we haven’t been treated to a depressed Funky singing in the shower! ( see Mary Worth for that). And here I thought Batty was the only one left turning out crap.

  5. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Realguy McDirector sighs with relief after these two goofy Ohioans leave the room.

    “Thank the LORD! What a mistake it was bringing those two idiots out here. Especially the guy who drew everything in stick figures like a sixth grader. I would have tossed them long ago, but I didn’t want to take a load of crap from the union.”

    “Huh? Whaddaya mean? Those two putzes weren’t in the union. They just showed up one day. Did you hire them?”

    “NO! I thought you did!”

    “GODFUGGINDAMMIT!!!!”

  6. Yeah…..because it’s everyone’s dream to see Pete’s imagine spots about how terrible it is to deal with other people’s good ideas predicting the future.

  7. Does Batty know that lots of artists and writers work on multiple projects at the same time?

  8. hitorque

    Busy day, so I’ll be brief:
    1. GOD DAMN IT TO HELL FUCK SHIT PISS TITS BALLS BATIUK THE MOVIE INDUSTRY DOESN’T WORK THAT WAY! (And I don’t have enough hours in my day to list all the shit he’s gotten 100% wrong). At least Tom “Kill Fee” Batiuk is admitting the same to himself, which is why he’s dragging these assclowns out of their dream job forever…
    2. This is the part where I mention that P+D can do both fucking jobs at the same time and it doesn’t have to be one or the other… Or God forbid they put the “MAKE COMICS GREAT AGAIN” campaign on hold for a year to finish the Starsuck trilogy since Chester’s proposal isn’t going anywhere…
    3. Okay, I can sort of understand having this conversation with the person who singlehandedly salvaged the script (Even though he isn’t the original author), but for a goddamned storyboard artist? The director SHOULD be saying “And just who the fuck are you again?” to Darrin…
    4. Extra credit to the director trying to negotiate on behalf of the studio, automatically assuming Pete+Darrin will be an instant runaway success, and not knowing how movie rights work.
    5. You know, as much as Batiuk coats his characters in layer upon layer of wholesome, humble, smalltown, old-timey Middle American values and folksy wisdom from the ol’ hometown, these fucking people have the worst manners imaginable!
    6. What the hell happened to “Mr. Jarre, I want to give you my most heartfelt thanks for risking your career in taking such a HUGE leap of blind faith in me, who you hired sight unseen based on the secondhand recommendation from the woman you’re fucking who just happened to be from my hometown and eavesdropping on my phone conversation because she’s a nosy neurotic meddling beeyotch… I also can’t thank you enough for putting my best bro/closeted gay life partner on the payroll too, along with a dozen other people from Westview who got five figures for no-show do-nothing jobs… Darrin and I down-and-outers – I’d just gotten fired and Darrin was just a garden variety fuckup of wasted potential, and you not only gave us purpose, you gave us a chance to live the dream of Hollywood big shots for two years making an obscene amount of cash… And now we must return from whence we came because at the end of the day, all you Hollywood people are shallow godless degenerate heathens who wouldn’t know ‘art’ if it crawled up your collective asses and died there!”

  9. bobanero

    Interesting how Durwood has kind of pushed Mopey Pete out of the way and become the alpha dog in this new venture, even though Chester was originally only interested in Pete for his mad writing skillz and hadn’t expressed any need for a comic artist. In today’s strip, Durwood is doing all the talking while Mopey Pete appears to be desperately hoping for Director Guy to notice him and shake his hand.

    • hitorque

      That’s why along with continually abandoning his wife and kid, Darrin will always be the more hateable of the two… Well, maybe not, since Pete smugly showing off Mindy’s lewd texts like some 16-year-old who doesn’t know how to unhook a bra was pretty despicable…

      But the point of it is at least Pete has some kind of demonstrable talent with the results to show for it… And even though she always plays second fiddle to dear hubby’s comics fetish and Yaoi/furry cosplay nights with Pete, Darrin’s wife at least has some kind of demonstrable talent with the results to show for it… Darrin himself has accomplished jack fucking shit… His artistic “experience” is literally by his own admission random doodles and sketches in 9th grade study hall…. Were it not for the Westview Nepotism Mafia, Darrin and his family would have starved ages ago. Darrin got his job only because his girlfriend Pete lobbied for him (and because some jaggoff at the studio decided to allow Masone to be his own producer as well)…

      I just hate the Judge Parkerization of the strip where through cronyism, luck or random chance, characters get all these once-in-a-million-lifetimes opportunities completely unrelated to ability or merit literally delivered to their door like pizza… Then they get bored and the next once-in-a-million-lifetimes opportunity… Of course after this happens enough times the character (and the author) forget all this success was undeserved and they delude themselves into thinking they got all their shit through hard work…

  10. bobanero

    “As long as you give me the right of first refusal for the movie rights” – Nothing will give me more pleasure than to be the first to refuse you.

  11. Epicus Doomus

    People leave and begin real jobs in less time than this slog is taking.

  12. hitorque

    7. For all the reputed hustle and bustle of Tinseltown, I guess I’m shocked to see that most of it is just people sitting around and doing nothing…
    8. For the hundredth time, can Masone *PLEASE* start dressing the part of a Hollywood A-lister? And I don’t care how much of an agreeable bowling shirt hipster douchebag he is, can Mr. Director upgrade his wardrobe as well? Just because John Waters can pull it off it doesn’t mean everyone else can. Could you imagine Scorsese ever looking like that while on the job?

  13. Professor Fate

    This arc gives tedium a bad name.
    And really this keeps sticking in my craw – you are going to give up your jobs working on a multi-million (how many who knows) sequel to the first SJ movie which per the world of the strip was a hit to go back to Ohio to work for a guy with the nickname of “The Chiselier” to launch another comic book line at a time when comic books stores all over all closing and (I have some inside info on this) the real action is in Trade ppb sales and comics books as ‘comic books’ are a very small part of the business these days). I mean this is three day supply of peanuts for a herd of elephants crazy.
    Arggg.

    • The Dreamer

      good points and would you start a new comics line in based in NE Ohio? Chester should have let them set up shop in LA (or NY) You have to be based near the printers and big distribution points. Atlas Comics will live or die based on whether it sells in the NY Metro area or LA area, not Akron

  14. The Dreamer

    TomBat is just giving himself an excuse to create more lame comic book characters like Starbuck Jones. Every new character Pete creates is a month of one panel Sunday strips