Flying Fickle Finger of Fat

Link to today’s strip.

I wasn’t around, in Funky Winkerbean terms, when “Darrin Opens A Letter” famously played.  As such, I’ve only seen it in the archives here–everything at one go, rather than stretched out over days.

The pacing there seems positively riveting and action-packed compared with what we’re presented with now.  Yes–Funky is going to take an entire week to send a text message.

In fairness, unlike the Darrin story, this one at least doesn’t involve Les or Lisa in any way.  That puts it about 50 points ahead.   Just like the Darrin story, though, this one lacks anything resembling a punchline, or humor of any kind.  Par for the course these days.

 

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15 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “Flying Fickle Finger of Fat

  1. bayoustu

    Face it, Funky- you’ve got fat EVERYTHING! Never shoulda quit that personal trainer.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Anyone can plainly see there’s only one logical story here: Holly has been annoying the shit out of Cory regarding his wedding plans. Cory will explain his wishes to her, she’ll begrudgingly accept and end up having a great time anyway.

    But this is the Batiukiverse, where concepts like logic have no meaning or relevance. Thus it’s just (and even more) likely that Cory is ignoring Holly because he doesn’t want her to find out about the surprise comic book he’s buying her, or he could be angry over a comic book she withheld from him during his childhood or maybe he wants to surprise her with his new job at Atomik Komix…you just never know and trying to predict it is futile.

    It’s funny how Westviewians continue to struggle with now-commonplace technology except for video calling, which they’ve mysteriously mastered and embraced. Funky can Facetime til the cows come home but sending a simple text message using his ancient obese arthritic fingers is a multi-day task. Wait until he learns of the existence of voice-to-text apps in around 2025 or so.

  3. billytheskink

    And your fingers don’t have this problem, Holly? I would say you are the worst, but you share a universe with Les.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Crap like this really makes me want to corner Batiuk at one of his appearances and get him to explain what’s supposed to be funny or exciting or at all worthwhile about this strip anymore.
    This strip is one giant fat middle finger sticking right up at anyone who takes the time to read it.

  5. batgirl

    Wow, they both have those tiny tiny mouths, like a baby doll mouth for a toy bottle to go in. No way would you ever get a slice of pizza in there.

    • comicbookharriet

      New York style pizza is folded in half. Obviously Westview style pizza is rolled like a greasy doobie.

      And. because of the trans-fats in the butter-flavored, shelf stable, vegetable oil each pizza is drenched in, an actual doobie is healthier and is legal in more states.

  6. Given that she has fat fingers as well, Cory is probably wondering why his mother is sending him texts full of gibberish while she’s pissed off because instead of talking about wedding plans, he keeps trying to refer her to a cardiologist about that stroke she appears to have suffered recently.

  7. Rusty Shackleford

    Check Crapshaft today. Remember when you would stand in line at a bank? Ahh, memories.

    • timbuys

      Re: The ‘shaft, I actually did have this experience the other day on a rare visit to a bank lobby. They had redesigned so the line to the tellers was no longer visible from the entrance and it took me a few seconds to figure out how they’d redesigned the interior layout.

      I’d like to think that, other than various aging related ailments, that’s all I’ll ever share with that miserable goat.

  8. The Nelson Puppet

    Are we REALLY sure Batyuck never worked at Marvel? Because this sure looks like Batyuck-quality komix:

  9. Hannibal's Lectern

    In what could be a first for the strip, Funky’s holding the phone in a manner that’s actually physically possible. Amazing!

    And, as I asked over on CK as well, is Funky actually left-handed, or did Burchett just make him that way for this strip because it fit his “artistic vision” better?

  10. hitorque

    I don’t get it — In that list of archive strips, what is Lisa warning against in the last one?? “Don’t get raped” or something??

    In the retcon, was it ever addressed just WHY some cool, popular all-district or whatever QB wanted to go out with some little quiet, shy mousy little geek girl of middling attractiveness; much less had to have her so badly to the point that he forcibly raped her??

    I mean, it’s not totally out of the realm of logic, since some sociopaths go hunting after the challenging ‘big game’ while others specifically prey on the weak, low-hanging fruit…

  11. hitorque

    I’m sorry, why do banks hate Krankenschaaften again??

  12. hitorque

    Oh, and motherfuck that lame-assed Seinfeld reference which was tired in both 1997 and 2007… Nevermind the fact that the art is god-awful to the point where it took a few minutes to even realize what this was, and it’s just artistically LAZY to re-print someone else’s slapstick just to convey a cheap sentiment…

    Nevermind the fact that Batiuk had to Batiuk by forcibly applying the scene to a not-quite-applicable situation… “I FINALLY FOUND MY BIRTH MOTHER!!” is not something to be played for laughs no matter what the emotional reaction is…

  13. hitorque

    While I know it is statistically possible, I do wonder how a dark brown-haired father and a Firebush mother spawned a platinum blonde kid…