Legends of the Fall

Back in the fall“?!? No, Les, it was Christmastime, for cryin’ out loud, when your non-bio non-stepson took time off from his “work” (oh, please) to hang out with you. And as far as we know, he appeared at the signing only because you were not home at the Taj Moore-hal when Boy Lisa showed up there unexpectedly. “Legs of the book tour” my ass. You wanna talk about legs? Check out Les’ pins in panel one. It’s a wonder they can support the weight of his body plus two tennis rackets!

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30 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

30 responses to “Legends of the Fall

  1. spacemanspiff85

    “I’ll bet Lisa would’ve liked the two of you travelling and making money off of a book about her death! I bet she would’ve been happy to die, knowing that was going to happen.”

    • Jimmy

      “Hey Les, what’s your wife’s name?”

      “Lisa. You know that.”

      “Yeah. Never mind.”

  2. Jimmy

    The link directed me to my favorite all-time FW strip.

    404 – File Not Found.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Also, did Les not mention this at all since it happened? He probably sees Funky more than any other human other than Cayla.

  4. Batiuik’s repertoire is so head-shakingly small.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    Les seems totally unaware that Darin and Pete have relocated to Cleveland to work for Hagglemore’s vanity project. Shouldn’t Boy Lisa have told him? Didn’t Crazy Harry mention Haglemore’s visit to John’s store to get in touch with Darin during one of his regular coffee breaks at Montoni’s?

    How is it possible to completely ignore continuity so frequently?

    • billytheskink

      Les does seem aware of Durwood’s new job, but it appears he has Mandela Effect-ed it to have happened long before it did. Les says that Durwood took time off from his “comic work” to join him for some of his book tour “last fall”. Durwood and Pete were both still working for CME in California at that time.

      • Gerard Plourde

        Thanks for catching that.

        This whole Darin/Lisa thing is truly annoying. Darin was adopted by the Fairgoods at birth and had no idea that Lisa gave birth to him (when she was in high school) until shortly before her death. It’s unlikely that their lives intersected much at all before that. (Unless, of course, she was hired ny the Fairgoods to represent him in delinquency proceedings at some undocumented time.) Darin is pushing 40 and has a family of his own that, from what we can determine, he blithely neglects

        And while I’m ranting, what about Summer, the daughter Lisa actually nurtured and raised up until the time of her death? Shouldn’t she get a turn providing her hagiography of Lisa and stressing over whether she’s making her happy in the afterlife?

        • Rusty Shackleford

          If Batty were a writer, he could do a lot with Summer. I am thinking of something along the lines of Wolfe’s “I am Charlotte Simmons”, you know, small town Westview girl encounters a larger world.

          But alas, Lisa, Lisa Lisa… nothing new.

          • Gerard Plourde

            I found his most recent “Flash Friday” illuminating. He mentions that after the April 1970 Giant Flash “my comic book reading dropped rather precipitously” because he was about to be shopping his work to the newspaper syndicates.

            What struck me was that I don’t recall in any of his writing about his development as a graphic storyteller his ever mentioning exploring the broad world that was available beyond the DC and Marvel lines (in truth, I don’t recall him refencing reading anything other than The Flash). I’m thinking of things like Classics Illustrated, Hergè’s Tintin, or the Asterix series, which had longer, more developed stories than the three-short-episodic-story format that even DC was abandoning. I also don’t see any reference to longer non-graphic works in any genre fantasy, science fiction, literary fiction, etc. It’s an odd omission.

        • billytheskink

          The most notable meeting Lisa and Durwood had prior to Durwood’s late Act II adventure at the post office happened at Les and Lisa’s bat-wedding.

          TB would later recycle this stupid gag in late Act II, with Jessica remarking about how much Durwood looked like his parents only for Durwood to smirk and tell her he was adopted.

          • Gerard Plourde

            Interesting. It implies that he was setting us up for the Lisa/Darin connection and indicates a level of craft that he’s not achieving now.

          • timbuys

            I dunno. This seems pretty hamfisted to me as well. If I introduced my costumed kid to an, uh, acquaintance (?) and their first response was to flip up my kid’s mask and gaze into his eyes, I’d be rather put off to put it mildly.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Uh yeah Tom/Les…”Lisa” would have “loved” how you and Darin hung out that time. She probably would have “loved” it when Darin moved in or when Les got him a job at Montoni’s or when he “hired” him to doodle for his new “Trilogy” books too…so f*cking what? What the hell does Lisa or that stupid book have to do with tennis? Does he EVER stop thinking about that cancer book, ever? What a pile of crap, when he’s all out of ideas it’s Lisa to the rescue.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      No wonder Funky is miserable, he has to listen to dork face berate him and listen to the endless, Lisa would do this, Lisa did that…what would Lisa do?

  7. spacemanspiff85

    I wish I knew how to use Photoshop, because I just thought that having the third panel be Funky saying “Yeah, I was busy banging Cayla that weekend.” would amuse me a lot.

  8. Charles

    It’s amazing how much these people are concerned about what Lisa would have thought about their endeavors. The whole “what would Lisa think” has been a punchline in at least one strip for every single sequence featuring Lisa’s Story in the past year. Since I am just that much of a nitpicky bastard, here it is documented:

    9/24/17: Funky tells Les that he thinks Lisa would have been proud of him for having the book launch at the Columbus Museum of Art.

    10/10/17: Cayla wonders aloud how great Lisa would have found the Mentor Run for Lisa’s Legacy Fund. Ghost Lisa says she thinks it’s amazing.

    11/18/17: Jessica tells Darin that she thinks his “mom” (editor’s note: Jesus Fucking Christ) would have been proud of how well his auction of the comic cover art went. Ghost Lisa and Ghost Phil give each other the thumb’s up in the background.

    12/20/17: Cayla gives Darin a tongue bath, telling him how wonderful the legacy he and Les have created for Lisa is. Darin responds by telling Cayla that “Mom” (Ed. note: Jesus Christ, again) would have really liked her.

    12/24/17: Darin tells Les that “Mom” (Ed. note: Blow me, Batiuk) would have been proud of Les’s book signing. Les says he’s been getting that a lot. (Ed. note: Tell me about it. God damn)

    6/2/18: It’s a six month hiatus from Lisa so we could establish the thunderingly stupid Atomik Komix storyline. After an extraordinary sequence where Les was shown signing books and nobody mentioned how proud Lisa would be of him (although he was never shown talking to anyone who actually knew Lisa), Batiuk instead decides to ram it into this sequence of Les and Funky playing tennis, with Funky saying that Lisa would have liked that Darin joined Les for some of the book tour.

    That’s a ton of thought constantly put toward what a 20-years-dead woman would think of current situations. I think in future Lisa sequences, even those that last just one week, we can expect at least one punchline being what Lisa would think of the situation being discussed. I remember wondering two years ago or so if Batiuk had finally realized that he had long ago used up all the potential that Lisa’s story could possibly have had. I was a damn fool, really.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Lisa Lisa Lisa, she was bad when she alive, even more insufferable when dead. Wish Bull were around to punch Les in the face every time he says Lisa.

    • Rusty

      I guess I’ve become numb to the cult of Lisa, didn’t even pick up on all these random mentions. Nice, if horrifying, work.

      • Charles

        I find the self-congratulatory tone of these strips so aggravating that they’re easy for me to remember. Batiuk is never worse than when he engages in artistic onanism.

        I mean, what kind of story is he trying to tell when he makes this the denouement?

  9. I have no idea what Lisa would think of a book about her theatrical and pointless display of simply giving up and dying because living was just too much of a chore. I have no idea what she really thought of Darin. I have no idea how they’d have interacted if she were still alive. I have no idea what she’d think of anything that’s transpired since she expired but then, I’m not crazy and weird like these two zombies.

  10. Professor Fate

    Perhaps Lisa might have liked it if you also had brought your daughter Sumner along as well. After all she’s the one who found the diary when you could not write and is your daughter as well. You have no actual relationship to boy Lisa.
    Arrrrggg this strip.

  11. sgtsaunders

    This is among the most contrived Lisa references ever.

  12. Batiuk, the Pulitzer committee is not going to reconsider their decision. You blew it ruining something people enjoyed. Admit it and retire.

  13. LTPFTR

    “You wanna talk about legs? Check out Les’ pins in panel one. It’s a wonder they can support the weight of his body plus two tennis rackets!”

    Not to mention the massive ego.

  14. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “My stepson Corky will be having his coming wedding soon. My wife, Holly, and I have been trying to…”

    “SILENCE, FOOL! HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT WHEN I’M TALKING ABOUT MY MANY BOOK TOURS!”

    “I’m sorry, I was…”

    “SHUT YOUR HOLE!!! THAT WAS NOT YOUR CUE!!! Anyways… and I say ‘anyways’ because I’m from Ohio… Anyways, Duuuhhhren took a lengthy unpaid absence from his job to follow me around on my book tours. His wife, Whatshername, had to beg for money at traffic intersections to make ends meet.”

    “Well, that sounds like a stupid thing to do to your family. Wasn’t this the same guy who gave away thousands of dollars of collectibles he inherited? Sounds like a prize moron.”

    “NO AD LIBBING!!! SAY YOUR LINES RIGHT!!!!”

    “Wow, Les. That’s fantastic. I’ll bet Lisa would have liked that kind of profound stupidity.”

    “Hmmff. I guess some children WERE left behind!”

    (Les waddles off.)

  15. batgirl

    Wasn’t it previously established that both Summer and Cayla could whup Les in backyard toss-the-ball-around games? Maybe he vampirized out all their skills, leaving them dry hollow husks, and that’s how he can triumph over Bull and Funky (and why Summer has vanished and Cayla is more ghostlike than Lisa now).