And The Bland Played On

Link To Today’s Strip

The good news: no comic books!!! The bad news: mail is still playing a pivotal role in the strip.

Let’s take a moment to talk about shitty storytelling. Holly has apparently just opened her invitation to the Big Band Alumni Reunion Event (sigh), which oughta be a real barn-burner by the way. Yet somehow, despite just finding out about it, she knows that a) her mother was also inexplicably invited, b) she wants to attend and c) she wants them to drive to Florida to pick her up. Which opens a whole host of mysteries best left unsolved, which they no doubt will be.

I don’t remember Holly’s mom being a character in the strip at all, which seems to indicate that the “goal” here is a) more “adorable old coot” humor and b) another excuse to trot out Holly’s Act I flaming baton trick persona, neither of which has generated a lot of clamor among FW’s (chortle) fan base as far as I can tell. Anyone who’s had anything whatsoever to do over the last forty years has forgotten all about Holly’s baton silliness and if FW contained any more “adorable old coot” gags it’d come with a year’s supply of Coumadin. Unless this Big Band Alumni Reunion Event (sigh) is just another excuse to have the loathsome Dinkle wobble down Act I Memory Lane yet again, which seems sort of likely given the premise here.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “And The Bland Played On

  1. spacemanspiff85

    Who is this woman talking to Mort in what I’m assuming is Bedside Manor’s break room?

  2. billytheskink

    I’ll take “Things that are done on Facebook these days” for $400, Alex.

    I am glad to see TB and Ayers’ tiny coffee lassos make their return. One of the few little art elements that I genuinely found charming in this strip. Burchett did not draw them and the strip was poorer for it, since, you know, the writing never changed.

  3. The Nelson Puppet

    I’m leading a movement to get the folk(s) who write and draw “Pluggers” the Eisner Award next year, just to troll Batiuk.

  4. The Nelson Puppet

    Why is Clay Aiken on the masthead?

  5. Rusty

    I seem to recall some strips with Holly and her mom talking to Dinkle. This will be another exercise in “how old are the main characters anyway.”

  6. Gerard Plourde

    Based on her outrageous request, I’m going to conclude that Holly’s mother is suffering from some form of either dementia or megalomania. It’s almost a thousand miles each way to Florida from the Cleveland metro area and that’s assuming that she lives in Jacksonville or the Panhandle. No person in possession of her faculties would expect that.

    Is this supposed to be funny? I just don’t get what he’s even aiming for.

    • timbuys

      Replying to say that this is pretty much my exact reaction to the strip. What’s her faces’ mom has gotta be pushing ninety or eighty at the earliest.

      I’ve never tried it, but I’m guessing that (unlike as depicted in certain medically themed soap opera strips) long distance over the road travel with a superannuated ‘coot’ is not the gag a day joyride the author contemplated.

      ‘Other’ news indeed.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Surprised that they just don’t buy her a ticket for Amtrak. Who cares of it takes her three weeks to get back to Ohio due to all of the delays and breakdowns.

      All for a stupid alumni band reunion concert.

  7. hitorque

    1. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT… Funkmeister better tell moms-in-law that she needs to cart her ass to the Greyhound station, or if he wants to give her the VIP treatment he can wheel 100-year-old Krankenshaaften out to a school bus, jam a $50 bill in his Buckeyes jacket along with a pint of Old Crow and a pouch of Red Man and let him make the trip…

    2. What the hell does she care anyway? It’s a band reunion, not the 100th anniversary get-together of the U.S. Army’s 37th Inf. Div heroism in the Argonne Forest (although she *WAS* a freshman at Westview when WWI was going on)…

    3. At this point, Batiuk really needs to spin off FW into two strips: One centered around Masone/Cindy and Atomikkk Komixxx, and the other centered around Dinkle writing his books, raking in his lifetime achievement awards and teaching music to senior citizens…

  8. Jimmy

    To the band people out there, is this really a thing, high school marching bands reconvening decades later and including majorettes? I can understand college alumni bands, which I think is a pretty great thing. I’m just scratching my head on this one.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yes, there is. Typically the alumni gather to march in a parade or to do a small concert around the holidays.

      I was in band, but never participated in these things, but friends of mine have and they enjoyed it. I enjoyed my high school days overall, but see no reason to relive them, likewise the stage should be reserved for the current students.

  9. Professor Fate

    Airplanes are a thing it would seem that no longer exist in the Funkyverse yes?
    Really if Holly’s mom is physically too feeble to fly how is riding a couple of thousand miles in a car better?

  10. spacemanspiff85

    Did anyone else notice Batiuk’s blog post that was literally just “Hey, I know Father’s Day was a month and a half ago, but your dad might like this Crankshaft book, so why don’t you buy it for him from my website?”.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Funny thing is that my Dad is in Batty’s preferred demographic—age 79 and up—but he has no interest in anything Batty writes. I can hear him yelling now: “Why did you buy this for me?”

      • Epicus Doomus

        Plus you’d have to go through the struggle of “explaining” the Batiukiverse to him…”well you see, Crankshaft was the grouchy school bus driver in FW, which was an entirely different strip set in a slightly different time but not always and sometimes the characters cross over with one another and interact…” and his eyes would glaze over with total boredom and disinterest one second in. Which happens whenever I try to explain it to anyone.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      From the photo he posted, there appears to be a lot of unsold books of his at the Barnes and Noble in Montrose, Ohio.

  11. comicbookharriet

    Big Band Alumni Reunion Event? BBARE? Where were you going with that acronym? Because all I can see in my mind’s eye is Dinkle’s BBARE ass.

  12. I wonder what color the sky is in Batiuk’s world. He sure doesn’t live in the real one if he thinks that this is going to entertain anyone. No one cares about that stupid band, Holly waving that stupid baton and her mom can jolly well get on a plane like everyone else instead of flagging down a fucking sedan chair.

  13. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “That’s great, Holly! I-77 is very beautiful that time of year. You should be able to make it in about four days, depending on how much sleep you need – unless, of course, there’s a hurricane. I look forward to seeing your mom at the reunion.”

  14. The Dreamer

    So is the big band reunion going to be where Holly introduces Funky to Harry Dinkle or where he overcomes his amnesia and realizes he already knows him?

  15. Don

    They’re forgetting something – they have to drive down to Florida, pick her up, drive her back to Ohio – and then do it all over again (only this time, they drop her off) once the reunion is over.

    Unless Holly’s mother is going to be staying in Ohio…say, are there any spare beds in whatever home Funky’s father is in? And don’t they have a band of their own?

  16. batgirl

    I have a vague idea that Holly’s mother was a stage-mom type, living vicariously through her daughter’s, um, baton-tossing notoriety? So I guess it is somewhat in character that she would demand to be present for this but not for her grandson’s wedding. Oh, wait, has that happened yet?