Pete in the Hands of an Inept God.

Link to Today’s Comic.

I got way too much enjoyment out of panel two today. Pete’s bland, mopey, dumpy little face, too crushed by the lassitude of his underwritten universe to feel fear as he slowly comes to terms with his own non-existence. I am excited to see what Chester comes up with to rebel against the uncaring creator of the Funkyverse who has doomed the comic book venture that he himself called into being. If Chester does engage in some holy war against Tom Batiuk, what hell will he be cast down into? Where do all characters in Funkyverse go to be damned and forgotten? But to reign is worth ambition, the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a Heaven of Kent State, a Hell of Westview.

Also, it might increase sales and buzz of your comics if they weren’t blank sheets of paper stapled together. Though I suppose blank white paper is cooler than The Inedible Pulp.

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22 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

22 responses to “Pete in the Hands of an Inept God.

  1. DOlz

    They know you’re putting out “comic” book, they know.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    I’ll bet you anything that the idea isn’t “I’ll hire a marketing team”, as that wouldn’t be very Batiukian. I like how Pete…a twenty year veteran of the comic book business…doesn’t “get” why no one knows about AK, even as he gazes out upon thousands of square feet of unoccupied office space. Man, his twisted comic book fantasy dream world visions just keep getting dumber and dumber.

    • billytheskink

      I’m kind of intrigued by the thought of Chester convincing himself that he invented the practice of marketing. Alas, “comically bad” is a bar too high for this strip.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Pete used to write Superman and just wrote an award winning blockbuster movie. If people don’t like his comics, it probably isn’t because nobody notices him, it’s probably because they just plain suck.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    Oh, and I can now say that Les is now fifth on my least favorite FW character list, behind Pete, John, Darin, and Dinkle.

  5. Oh lord he’s going to have them promote the comic books by getting Hollywood to make a movie about them.

  6. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “We’ll get a homeless guy to wear a sandwich board with our logo on it and hand out flyers on Main Street an noon!”

    “Durwood, get started on the boards and the flyers. Peet, go out and hire a hobo!”

  7. This, of course, has a lot to do with Batiuk’s not understanding why his refusal to actively promote Lisa’s Story means that it sits on the shelves. The other side of the equation is watching Les act as if dealing with the people buying the books is a horrible imposition because he thinks that supply creates demand, the dolt.

  8. Chyron HR

    “I don’t get it. Darin’s fake mom says our comics are good.”

  9. What’s up with Pete’s vest and tie? Until recently he was always seen wearing the Traveling Green Shirt. Is he channeling his heroes from the good old days of Bantom Comics?

  10. Rusty

    Man, Byrne really mails it in when it’s his turn to draw the dailies.

    Wouldn’t Pete be well-known in the comic book world? Enough to generate some buzz when he started a new venture? Although his professional career has been mainly one failure or firing after another.

  11. hitorque

    1. The comics have been selling, so how the hell does nobody know who you are?

    2. Yeah, maybe… Just MAYBE Chester the Molester needs to start thinking like a grownup instead of insisting that *ONE* middling veteran comics writer, one amateur artist, and one rank amateur colorist (only hired because as always in the Funkyverse, she’s fucking the comics writer) are enough to take this comic publisher international… I dunno, hire a marketing/PR person? (Darrin and/or Mindy should already be serving that role as well, given how little they actually do for their fucking paycheck).

    3. It’s funny because Chester the Molester was sold to us as some kind of Warren Buffet venture capitalist super-genius of investing and playing the stock market so he’s worth like $200 million… And yet, despite time being money and having dozens of other pressing business issues to look after, he can afford to sit on his ass all day at Atomikkk Komixxx…

    4. Can Pete Rattabastardi quit with the “disheveled loose tie and open collar” -look? Pete is *NOT* a working stiff under constant stress busting his ass for a minuscule paycheck… He isn’t Andy Capp, Roger Fox, Curtis’ dad, Thirsty, hell he isn’t even Krankenschaaften… Pete isn’t showing some kind of solidarity with the working classes, he’s just proving he’s a lazy-assed slovenly piece of shit who has had everything handed to him…

  12. bobanero

    If only the internet had some kind of means of locating people who are comic fans and might be interested in our offerings, and if we were only able to set up a page that describes our offerings and make that page available to those comic fans, at little or no cost. Naaah, let’s take out an ad in the classified section of the Akron Beacon Journal instead.

  13. erdmann

    Lord. Just yesterday I asked how these ninnies were marketing their books. Now it seems that they may not be marketing them at all. Worse, it seems they may not be familiar with the very concept of marketing.

  14. A professional artist should be utterly ashamed to claim panel 2 as his work.

  15. Professor Fate

    “Maybe we should try and sell them?”
    “That’s just crazy enough to work!”
    I notice that of course they aren’t thinking about electronic versions of the books. which is a growing part of the business.

  16. DOlz

    This going end up with a promotion at Komix Korner because that’s the Westview way. Also its the laziest way of doing it.

    • hitorque

      Why stop there? Put DSH John, his batshit sidekick, Bernie Birnbaum and his two unnamed black friends on the payroll as “consultants”, too! It’s the Funkyverse way!