Night of the Living Manager

Link to today’s strip.

I remember when Dullard left, Funky was worrying about filling his position and Wally volunteered for the job.   Funky dismissed the offer out of hand, and now we know why:  you can’t be a manager if you don’t have a degree.  Why, the absurdity!  Being a degree-less schmo is fine if you’re just washing the disease off the plates, but managerNever!

Apparently, though, someone was hired to manage the place during the night…someone who we’ve never seen, and whose existence has never even been hinted about.  (But probably had a degree.)  I suspect this being quit so that it could join its fellow cryptids like the Fresno Nightcrawler, the Flatwoods Monster or the Hopkinsville aliens.

By the way, is Funky talking about a closing manager?  Because I would think the night would have much bigger crowds than the lunch shift, with that much more responsibility as well.  Wally still seems right on the edge of frail, so I don’t know what a large, boisterous crowd would do to him.  Ha!  I kid…like Montoni’s ever had a large crowd.

A closing manager for Montoni’s would just add up the mediocre receipts, see that the equipment looks clean enough, cage the apes, weep quietly and so on.

Not much else to say about this one…it’s dull, unfunny and the events therein (Wally being a manager) will be ignored in the future anyway, so that boring, poorly-constructed word-play can be made.

Nice to see that continuity is still as much ignored as always.  The other day, Tony had a red sweater.  Today, it’s black.  Either someone in quality control slipped up, or Tony was covered in blood and it has now coagulated.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

38 responses to “Night of the Living Manager

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Oh yeah, good ol’ P.M. Schifft, the Montoni’s night manager! P.M. was part of the new Act III generation, along with other compelling new characters like Summer and Cody and Frankie’s sidekick Lenny. He hasn’t been seen since he started chemo, good to see him get a mention, sort of, as I obviously just assumed he died or something.

    Apparently BanTom forgot that Wally currently works at Montoni’s and therefore would probably already know all about the night manager and his uncle’s lack of sleep. Funky explains it to Wally like it’s high-level executive boardroom stuff, decisions made behind closed doors and only shared on a need-to-know basis. The night manager…LOL.

  2. louder

    In other words: “Wally Wanker, you get to spend all evening talking to The Skunk Head and that Crazy Mailman, because those are the only two people you’ll ever see!”

    • louder

      Sorry for a second post, but honestly, what kind of salary is Wally going to get? $25.00 per hour? That’s $52,000 per year, plus paying for insurance. Yeah, that’s going to pay for the wife’s college, and no way Montoni’s makes enough to pay that salary. This story makes me want to rip my eyes out.

    • Max Power

      And it only took two MIA adventures for Skunk Head to close the deal with your wife, but at least you ended up net one spousal arm.

  3. spacemanspiff85

    Um, “installing”? Funky’s talking like he’s a medieval pope appointing a new cardinal, and not, you know, Funky.
    These might possibly be my least favorite FW strips, where you have one character hamming it up for the camera and saying something “witty” like this is a bad sitcom and Batiuk’s expecting his audience to laugh and say to themselves “That’s our Funky alright! He sure misses his beauty sleep!”.

    • billytheskink

      Funky owns the largest private employer in Westview and he is the landlord for the only other one. Perhaps he’s no medieval pope, but he’s at least a feudal lord of a dilapidated fiefdom that no empire considered worth invading…

      That doesn’t explain why Funky’s dry story about filling in his former night manager earns a smirk from Wally, of course.

      • Epicus Doomus

        First you get the pizza, then you get the comic books, then you get the power. Funky is more like a sad-sack mafia don, running both local rackets and bestowing lucrative jobs upon his relatives and friends.

        • The Nelson Puppet

          There are buffers. Montoni is the Don, Funky is his caporegime. Wally has just been “made”.

        • gleeb

          There is no money to be had, and have you seen the women? They’re almost as bad as the men. Better to just stick to the pizza and komix.

        • Rusty Shackleford

          Be funny if Wally starts running drugs out of Montoni’s or running sports book, loan sharking.

          Even funnier, Wally loses the shop to settle gambling debts and the Montoni family takes control again.

        • Buckeye Feculence

          Funky running a small town racket–now that storyline has potential!

          • gleeb

            It would explain going to “the doctor” in Texas. Funky needs to have multiple lines of import for opioids.

    • Count of Tower Grove

      BWAWHAWHAWHAW! Hollee is so Fungy funny because sleep deprivation causes accidents and can lead to death!

    • Count of Tower Grove

      Indeed, but instead of a miter, Walleye gets the pointy hat preferred by the followers of Duns Scotus.

      • ian;sdrunkenbeard

        That’s what I love about SOSF – I come here for a dose of snark, and end up reading about the univocity of being.

  4. spacemanspiff85

    And it’s an especially crap kind of writer who has a storyline centered around a college graduation without even hinting at what the graduate’s degree might be in, and somehow results him getting a part-time job at the pizza place he already worked in.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Wally majored in Pizza and Pizzeria Management with a minor in toppings, while Adeela has a degree in Pizzeria Architecture and Design. While its Comic Book Studies program is already world-renowned, the Pizza Studies program at KSU is, as the kids say these days, a “hot” major among students looking for a future in the burgeoning pizza industry. With recent technological advances in hipster toppings and cheesy crusts, some say the coming 20s will be known as “Generation Pizza” and KSU’s Pizza Studies program aptly prepares its students for the pizza present as well as the pizza future with a wide range of courses touching on everything from pizza manufacture to pizza retailing.

      Tony first came to this country with eleven cents in his pocket, a large wooden spoon and an innate pizza sensibility that enabled him to quickly conquer the Westviewian pizza trade. Funky of course cut his teeth in the fabled Westviewian pizza mills of the 1970s, back when the mills employed tens of thousands of dedicated pizza union laborers, back before the Mid Eastern Sauce crisis crippled the industry. But it’s a whole different world now and when a customer presents a digital coupon or wants to pay with a new cryptocurrency today’s modern pizza co-manager simply has to be ready. And something tells me the new and improved Wally Winkerbean will be. And Buddy’s always there just in case.

      • comicbookharriet

        You jest with great detail and hilarity, but I’m guessing pizza does employ more Americans these days than coal or steel.

      • spacemanspiff85

        Man, I already forgot Wally’s supposed to have graduated from Kent State. You’ve got to think the school really loves how they’re portrayed here- “Get a degree from Kent State, and you too can be an assistant manager at your uncle’s pizza restaurant!”.

  5. The Nelson Puppet

    I wonder who among the tens of fans of FW actually like this dreck? It’s making “end times Apt. 3-G” and Joe Giella-era Mary Worth seem like Dostoyevsky.

    • comicbookharriet

      Dude, ‘end times Apt. 3-G’ was a post-modern neo-dadaist masterpiece.

      • The Nelson Puppet

        It looked like a 90-something man doing post-stroke therapy by randomly strewing 1960s advertising clip art across a blank sheet of paper. So, you’re right.

        • comicbookharriet

          But we’ll always have, “Too fancy for Hoboken and too hot for church.” Which pops into my head apropos of nothing at the weirdest times…and also in church.

  6. comicbookharriet

    Rachel’s look isn’t happy here. Rachel’s look is a woman embarrassed by her spineless husband who passively takes what he is given without haggling for better pay.

  7. Paul Jones

    The sad thing is that not only would Wally be better off working for Mr Krabs, no one is noticing that Funky just had a mild stroke.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Maybe Wally we get in touch with the local Imam and have the place certified Halal so that Adeela and Rana can actually eat there.

    So while this strip has been exceptionally poor, I have been enjoying the long drawn out heart attack scenes in Crankshaft.

    • The Nelson Puppet

      Montoni’s without pepperoni, ham, bacon? You might as well banish KOMIX from Westview!

      • Rusty Shackleford

        I’m sure the Imam will want to close down the Komi Korner too. Can’t blame him really.

        Homer Simpson: pepperoni, ham, and bacon all come from the same animal?!? Sure Lisa. What is this, some kind of magical animal?

  9. Rusty

    If that water bottle Funky is tugging on was filled with vodka would anyone be surprised?

  10. Miskatonic Sophomore

    “Install you”…a nice little specimen of that strange and stilted dialect of American English that is only spoken in Westview. When it’s not laced with cliched jokes, it has a weird, atavistic formality!

    Though I like how “install” conveys a sense that the whole thing is utterly impersonal. Funky is “installing” Wally like a light bulb or a Brita filter. That often seems to be how the strip itself is created…interchangeable “character units” placed in simple “plot” patterns. An aging cartoonist in a fugue state, randomly arranging a couple of dozen worn, sticky LEGO people.

  11. Chester the Dog

    A roomful of smirks…except the kid who is sucking down that RC Cola.

  12. bobanero

    Reading strips like today’s, I realize how little we know about the actual operation at Montoni’s. The only employees that we know about are Funky, Rachel, Holly (does she actually work there or just hang out?), and Wally. There’s been some inferences that maybe Cory has some job function there, since Funky trusted him and his silent partner to manage the place in his absence, but we’ve actually not seen him lift a finger. So, that covers the job functions of manager/host (Funky), wait staff (Rachel), dishwasher (Wally), and whatever the fuck Holly does, if anything. So who in hell is making the pizza? And now Funky suddenly pulls a night manager out of his ass.

  13. Count of Tower Grove

    Wow! I don’t think I’ve ever seen this many replies on this site. At first glance today’s strip is typically unfunny. But the response indicates it’s especially funky.

    • Gerard Plourde

      I think it hits just about all the bases- contrived dialogue, bad artwork, appearance of a long-lost character, blatant inclusion of a character who represents a potentially controversial subject (which will not actually be explored).