She Who Must Not Be Named

Link to today’s strip

How exactly is Funky looking at Holly in panel 2? His shriveled left eye seems to be staring right at the bridge of his own nose. But his cosplay is on fleek. A near dead ringer for Joe Pesci’s Harry from Home Alone. True the hat is the wrong color, but the vacant yet angry expression is exactly the same.

Of course Holly is probably referring to Hurricane Irma. But that’s not the only option.

She could mean Irma, Wisconsin, USA, an unincorporated community that Mrs. Budd wants to live closer to so she can attend St Paul’s Evangelical Lutheran Church.

Or she could be frustrated that Irma, a Danish supermarket chain, has stopped shipping internationally so she wants to move somewhere with a larger Danish expat population in hopes of finding a store carrying her favorite brand of Spegesild.

Maybe she wants to be closer because she has IRMA Intraretinal microvascular abnormalities, a component of diabetic eye disease.

Maybe she’s upset because she heard rumors that Irma Records, an Italian record label, was about to drop Michael Buble’s friend, Matteo Brancaleoni, and needs emotional support.

On the subject of emotional support, maybe her past is coming back to haunt her. She could be suffering from PTSD from participating in Operation Irma, a series of airlifts of civilians during the Siege of Sarajevo.

She’s even old enough to have survived the sinking of the SS Irma, a Norwegian merchant ship sunk in controversial circumstances in 1944 by the Royal Norwegian Navy.

Since we’ve already had one storyline on swinging seniors and protection, maybe Holly’s mad at IRMA, the International Rectal Microbicide Advocates, an international non-profit organization which promotes awareness of rectal microbicides and reviews and encourages research into the safety of personal lubricants for anal sex, especially as pertaining to preventing AIDS. Maybe Funky’s Mom gave Funky’s Dad HIV after living it up with the senior crowd at the Miami Bum Boat Club.

But if I could pick one myself, I hope Holly means 177 Irma, a 43 mile wide asteroid currently located in the asteroid belt. I would choose this in the hopes that Mrs. Budd is only moving in so she can spend her last few weeks tormenting her son-in-law before a wayward 177 Irma careens into Earth driving the human race extinct.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

15 responses to “She Who Must Not Be Named

  1. spacemanspiff85

    1. Move “back” here? Just yesterday Batiuk said she wanted to “stay here”, so which is it?
    2. If she wants to move “back”, then she’s not there, so why does Funky need to be quieter?

    • Cabbage Jack

      It’s kind of sad that the people who actively think this strip is crap (myself included) care so much more about the Funkyverse than Captain Paint-By-Numbers Batty does.

  2. I admit, this strip is so profoundly boring that I can’t remember past events, but didn’t Holly’s mom decide some months ago that she wanted to stay in Funky’s house? Something about all her friends in the cemetery, or some damned thing Batiuk thought was clever.

    • spacemanspiff85

      “Back when I was a kid, when I wanted to see my friends we’d hang out in the Grays’ yard. Now, if I want to see them, I have to go to the graveyard!”

    • Epicus Doomus

      She arrived in August, was still there and openly discussing staying there permanently back in late December and has been there ever since, at least as far as I can tell. Yet, amusingly enough, Funky is reacting in stunned disbelief, like the whole idea is brand new to him.

      Maybe this could be an entire new format change for FW. Act IV, where everything that’s already happened happens again. For example, Les could approach Cayla and ask for a first interracial date like their courtship and marriage never happened, Summer could just inexplicably be a high school basketball prodigy again, the post office could explode again and so forth. Who’d even notice the difference?

      • spacemanspiff85

        I think it’s a matter of time before Lisa inexplicably is still alive and married to Les. Heck, if Cayla keeps lightening and gets another haircut she’ll be Lisa.

  3. Paul Jones

    Either it’s “All of my friends are dead so what’s the point of living there if I can’t boast about it?” or “I’m not living there any more because the hurricane scared me”, Batiuk. Make up your mind.

  4. Miskatonic Sophomore

    Oh, good, another disease awareness arc! With some mother-in-law jokes thrown in! This is groundbreaking on so many levels!

  5. billytheskink

    Holly’s mother wants to live with Funky and Holly? She said this out loud? She should probably get her hearing checked because I cannot imagine saying that out loud and it not sounding like description of one of the circles of hell.

  6. Irma la Douche, amirite?

    • ian'sdrunkenbeard

      You beat me to it! I was going to say that Mrs. Budd was staying because she landed the role of Kiki the Cossack in The Westview Geriatric Players production of “Irma la Douce”.

      A tip of the drunken beard to you for that excellent parody strip you did yesterday!

      Another tip of the drunken beard to CBH for her great commentary today. She made me go to Grandpa Google several times to learn more about the different Irmas.

  7. Why … why did she call Funky when he was just outside shoveling? What about the conversation couldn’t wait twenty minutes for him to get back inside?

    • Rusty Shackleford

      But then Batty couldn’t build suspense with that creative phrase that nobody has ever used before: “are you sitting down”.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    I love Holly’s expression in panel two….wow that is masthead worthy.

  9. Jimmy

    This is very timely, Bathack…for 2017.