A Silver-Age Comic

“I thought you were dead.”
Says Bernie in today’s strip
“Nice to meet you too.”

Bernie, Bernie *sigh*
It’s Phil Holt that’s the dead guy
Turn in your nerd card

It’s a fair guess, though
Batom Comics was founded
65 years back

That’s without time jumps
So Flash must be 90 plus
Did time stretch his face?

Thatsnought’s creepy smile
Over Durwood’s chicken scratch?
It’s a rictus grin

Pete, what’s with that face?
Keep your hands where we can see
Please please please please please


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

11 responses to “A Silver-Age Comic

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I wonder how Batom would take it if I were to approach his f*cking book signing table and said “oh, you’re that f*cking Crankshaft asshole…I assumed you died years ago?”. My guess is that he’d summon security. This is just crass and stupid beyond belief, it’s just extremely difficult to believe that a hardcore comic book dork who actually knew who Flash was would stoop so low as to blurt something that tactless out for no reason. This is just awful and the way they’re all sitting there smirking like imbeciles makes it even worse.

  2. Okay, who tells someone “I thought you were dead” in a serious manner? That seems completely tone deaf and downright insulting.

    Now, you could do it, if you did it in a lighthearted manner as a way of breaking the ice. It would still seem much more awkward than something like, “I enjoyed your work” or some such.

    I was trying to decipher the sign that Thatsnought is covering up, and oh my God it says “Les Moore.” Wow. Getting over himself doesn’t seem to be in Batiuk’s nature.

  3. Charles

    I like how the commission is a doodle rather than a standard commission, which is generally custom artwork negotiated for a lot more. Guess no one has ever asked Batiuk for customized Funky Winkerbean artwork, which makes sense. He hears that some artists take commissions and thinks they’re doodling something on a napkin in thirty seconds. Guess that would explain his artwork as well.

  4. Jimmy

    I feel bad for Bernie’s friend over there. No, not that he’s at this joyless event (that’s obvious). Not only does he still have early balding, it appears his hair also has significant gray.

  5. spacemanspiff85

    1. The correct answer when someone tells you they thought you were dead is to stare right at them, say “I am.” and not blink at all.
    2. There is no way you can convince me, based on the perspective, that Pete’s hand isn’t in Darin’s lap.

  6. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Say hi to Bernie Silverberg, Batty’s one and only attempt at a Jewish character, so naturally, he’s a flaming stereotype: Short, pudgy, four-eyed, nerdy, and clearly on the Asperger’s spectrum. And he’s wearing that same baseball undershirt every time we see him.

    His band buddy, Thatsnot, looks at Duuuuhhhhhhren signing his “book” like he’s writing him a check for a million dollars. Batty sincerely want us to believe Dullard and Baggy Eyes Pete are major celebrities. Keep trying, Tomboy.

  7. Paul Jones

    If I were still covering this on Comics Casserole, I’d probably use the gag title “Editor Apathybean” to describe today’s horrible strip. That’s because we’re clearly living in a world wherein the person who’s supposed to rein Batiuk in stopped caring long ago.

  8. Professor Fate

    I’m guessing that the author got this line from the John Wayne Film Big Jake (1971) were folks keep asking Wayne his name and when he answers they say ‘I thought you were dead’ “not hardly’ is the Dukes first reply. (the line is repeated more than once and he starts to lose his temper about it)
    not one of his better films by a long shot – notable for it being the last time Maureen O’Hara worked with him – a lot of that got left on the cutting room floor.
    Not that it makes the joke work here of course but am amused to trace the possible origin of his nonsense