Crimes of the Future

Link to today’s strip.

Commentator Gerard Plourde said yesterday–

Maybe we should be thankful that he hasn’t thought of massive “hilarious” arcs of Skyler turning Dennis The Menace and pulling Home Alone-type pranks on overworked Ann and enfeebled Fred Fairgood.

Well, Gerard, from your lips to Tom Batiuk’s ears!  Hows that for service?  Granted, it’s not much of a “prank” to exhaust your grandmother…hm.  On second thought, for Batiuk that probably is one of the major pranks you can pull!

Oh, and Gerard, next time you make a prediction, try to work “Les Moore savagely beaten” in there somewhere.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

10 responses to “Crimes of the Future

  1. Rusty Shackleford

    This is sad. And unnecessary. I feel bad for the kid, his mom is too stupid to realize she can do her job from Ohio and be with her kid.

  2. billytheskink

    Remember when Funky was considered such a money-grubber and workaholic that Holly and his friends staged an “intervention”? Yeah, he still saw his wife and kid at home every single day.

    TB is basically writing that in order to make a career in one of his own hobbies (documentaries on ancient film, comic books), one has to neglect their children… and that that is fine. Ugh.

    • The Nelson Puppet

      Yeah, this “comic strip” badly needs editorial guidance. Batiuk can’t even be half-arsed enough to maintain that 1/4 inch from reality anymore.

  3. Paul Jones

    Also, we must savage the Fairgoods for not being Derpwood’s biological parents because their presence tends to obviate the stupid cultus of Dead St Lisa.

  4. Epicus Doomus

    At what point does Jessica go from being an “aspiring film maker” to being an actual one? At what point does Boy Lisa make the leap from “struggling young doodler” to “well-paid doodler”? I ask because if they’re going to keep indulging their dream fantasy career choices and continue with their weird cross-country video chat marriage, perhaps they might want to consider giving ol’ Grammy Fairgood a break and maybe hire a nanny or something. Of course they’d already have the money if only Boy Lisa hadn’t given away his valuable Phil Holt artwork to his “mom’s” stupid cancer charity, but I digress. Boy Lisa and Jessica returned to FW way back in 2011 and after eight tedious years they’re still “young kids just starting out” despite being at least forty years old.

    • Gerard Plourde

      You’ve identified the most galling aspect of Act III – its complete divorce from any semblance of reality. As many flaws and improbabilities as Act II contained, there were realistic issues and consequences. Lisa does give up in her struggle with cancer and dies and the death row inmate she represents and suspects is innocent does get executed. Funky’s marriage to Cindy fails and he struggles with alcoholism. (Looking at these examples I’m realizing what a gloom fest Act II was.)

      Act III, by contrast has a millionaire whose fortune apparently comes from the Silver Age remainders he surreptitiously took from his employer. Darren inherits valuable artwork from a famous but struggling illustrator he meets at a kid’s birthday party, gives a ride home to and spends all of an afternoon with. Then there’s Pete and Darren’s fantasy jobs at the movie studio,, where they appear to be being paid to sit around waiting for script changes to illustrate. And the list could go on.

  5. Chyron HR

    “But I’m not sleepy, grammy!”
    “I don’t care, just lay there and stare into space until I tell you to move again!”

  6. I respectfully disagree with Gerard. I don’t think any stunts Skyler pulls will be harrowing. I think he’ll wind up swallowing poison, getting run over by a car or getting kidnapped–especially if that look on Blondie McBimbo’s face in the masthead is any indication. Batiuk hasn’t killed anybody in a while.

  7. bobanero

    A little Benadryl in the orange juice works wonders come nap time.