Mail Day Part One…The Delivery

Link To Today’s Strip

Thanks TFH! It’s great to be back at the helm for what promises to be the most intense and trauma-packed FW arc since Funky crashed his car. It’s like my entire SoSF tenure has been leading toward this moment. Who knows what kind of roller coaster-like thrills this week will hold and…

Uh-oh. Long time FW readers know that mail delivery in the Funkyverse spells big, big trouble. Once again he’s bizarrely trying to cram wry whimsical banter into this arc for no discernible reason other than habit. I don’t really understand the gag here or why any interaction with the mail carrier was necessary to move the story along, but it goes without saying that whatever news this mail contains is definitely not good. My guess? The NFL mixed up Bull’s brain scan results with another dying player, leading to some sort of grim hilarity. In any event, steel yourselves for day after day after day of Linda sorting through mail, as I’ve seen this movie before and I know how it goes. And don’t forget, then she has to actually READ the mail, which is a whole other process. The Earth’s poles could very well shift before this plays out. Sigh.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

43 responses to “Mail Day Part One…The Delivery

  1. CRM114

    Good to see she’s prepping for the future. So the milkman doesn’t exist anymore, there’s always the postman, pizza delivery guy, and now home supermarket food delivery. She’s good to go, “I’m soooo lonely.”

  2. This gag works only if the mailman phrases it like “You must be expecting! Some mail.”

  3. louder

    It would be nice, if at some point, someone actually gave a damn about Funky, rather than keep up asinine chatter, wry smirks and other inane stuff.

    I know I’m talking to the choir, but BatHack has shown just how bereft of human empathy he is in this so-called Funky story. I’d hope that someone in his position used his comic to encourage people to get help, that yes, the people around really you care about your struggles and as much as they’re able to, will make sure you get the proper care and help.

    Rather, we get hopelessness and stupid banter. What a miserable comic this writer produces, and it is an insult to families who are fighting the good fight, trying to keep hope alive for their loved ones.

    • William Thompson

      And what a miserable storyteller Batiuk is, when he wastes a day in this arc with a clumsy, miserable failure of a joke.

    • William Thompson

      In his incompetent way, Batiuk is getting one thing right: nobody is talking to Bull. Nobody is asking him how he feels or trying to help him. (Linda is undoubtedly trying to keep his spirits up, but Batiuk’s life in the Uncanny Valley hasn’t equipped him to show caring human behavior.) He’s in such a rush to get that Pulitzer that he’s zipping past the alleged center of attention.

  4. Wow, this is one punchline that…really requires people to behave as robots and not real people. “You must be expecting..BEEP ZORP CHANK–”

    “No, I am too old to give birth to viable young.”

    “–BUZZ FLEEN ZOOK–some mail.”

    “WHIRRRRRRRR…yes, I am expecting mail. ZOOP ZOOP ZOOP.”

    “Excellent. I am delivering the mail you are expecting. BZZT!”

    • Epicus Doomus

      Exactly, it’s a conversation that could never actually happen for too many reasons to explain here. Even as a bit of misdirection to lull the reader into (guffaw) complacency, it’s just too stupid of an exchange to be believable and furthermore there’s no reason to have concluded it needed to happen in the first place.

      Thus it has to have been his idea of a sitcom-esque type scenario, where the snooty telegram man delivers the telegram and makes a wisecrack about the lead character’s hat. Then they open it and learn that Aunt Helga has died and the canned audience makes that little shocked gasp sound. And it all fell flatter than it ordinarily would have (no small feat) because, like a complete idiot, BanTom spoiled the whole thing weeks in advance. What a dolt.

  5. Epicus Doomus

    It just struck me as peculiar that the mailman didn’t you know, just put the mail in the mailbox and go, like how typical mail delivery works. And I’m not sure about Ohio, what with its folksy homespun small town ways and all, but around here if you were to greet a woman with “hey, looks like YOU’RE expecting!” it be taken as “whoa there fatso, preggers or something?” and you’d have a real problem on your hands.

    This idiotic gag actually makes a bit more logical sense when you realize it was a little misdirection on BatYak’s part, just to throw readers off with a little whimsy before the other shoe drops. But, because he already spoiled and blew the entire story during his puff-piece interview, it’s just more stupid than anything else. Nice going there, dumbbell.

  6. William Thompson

    Once again green leaves abound, but only in the distance. The trees nearest the Bushka home prophesy apocalyptic events as their leaves wither and die. Hurry up and break the First Seal, Linda, then make some hot chocolate for the Four Horsemen!

    • Epicus Doomus

      There is no seasonal variation in Westview. Fall begins (and with it the autumnal leaf fall) as soon as school and football starts. Winter begins on Thanksgiving, when it begins to snow violently until around March, when Unnamed Pleasant Season begins. And it always rains during every outdoor event, no exceptions.

      • William Thompson

        Except for today and yesterday. Yesterday the only autumnal tree was directly behind Bull, and dropping a dead leaf on him. The distant trees at the football field were dark green. It was ever so artistic.

  7. billytheskink

    After all the legal hoops got jumped through to set up this crossover between King Feature’s FW and Tribune’s Brewster Rockit: Space Guy… TB fumbles the snap by fundamentally misunderstanding the character of Cliff. There’s really no excuse, Cliff’s a slacker… that’s it. Simple.

    On the other, hand, it is kind of funny to see that Crazy Harry’s replacement at the post office, who is a dead ringer for a noted slacker character in a much better comic strip, is actually doing his job instead of drinking coffee at Montoni’s.

    • Epicus Doomus

      You know, when you look back on it (and I rarely do) taking away Harry’s mailman job was a real bit of totally unwarranted cruelty on BatHack’s part. I mean why? Here’s this totally harmless character who has one defining trait and Batiuk couldn’t let him keep doing it or even let him gracefully retire, he has to viciously just snatch it away. That Batiuk is really on my nerves this week.

  8. comicbookharriet

    The oldest woman to conceive accidentally was 59. She had started taking hormone replacement therapy, which actually temporarily reversed her menopause.

    There’s a sick part of my brain that wants Batiuk to go all the way with this. Bull kills himself right before his wife realizes she’s pregnant with the son he’d always wanted.

    • The Nelson Puppet

      ANCIENT CURSE: “May all your offspring look like Les Moore…or Travis Tritt, your choice.”

      • comicbookharriet

        Give Travis Tritt a haircut and it would be acceptable. But I’ll never forgive him for the terrible music videos.

  9. Epicus Doomus

    And then there’s a fifteen year time skip. When Act IV begins, Bull Jr. is going out for the Scapegoats football team, prompting Linda to share his father’s tragic story with him, but she can’t because she gets Alzheimer’s! It’s PERFECT!

  10. spacemanspiff85

    I guess we now know how Batiuk is going to fill nine weeks and six days of this storyline.

  11. Charles

    I suppose this storyline never would have managed to make ten weeks without having an entire week devoted to “someone opens some mail”.

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    In Batty’s pointy little bald head, it’s still 1947. Friends just drop over without calling, and the mailman knocks on the door to HAND you the mail.

    Did Chiquita McPoodlehead retire?? If not, she should be in school now, walking shoulder to shoulder through the hallways with Work Husband, Les, with that precious little security badge jangling and dangling around her waist. If she did retire, damn good thing she has plenty of money in the bank and full medical benefits. Right, Batty? Ummm, Batty…?

  13. Paul Jones

    So, we spend a week watching the fuse get lit and the week after watching it burn down. Yummy. I’d rather watch Crankshaft be a shit to his boss about her being a crappy bowler.

  14. Banana Jr. 6000

    The worst thing is, nothing in that letter is going to impact this story in any way. Why are they expecting a letter anyway?

    Is it a test result? No, we saw them get those in person when they went to North Carolina.

    Is it the NFL refusing to compensate Bull for his CTE? Probably, but this hasn’t been presented as crucial to the story. She said they probably wouldn’t pay for it, but she didn’t say they needed to.

    The Overdramatic Letter Reveal at least made sense in the “Darin’s birth mother” arc, because the contents of the letter were the most important part of the story. Here, it’s just not going to change anything. Bull had CTE before it, and he’s going to have CTE after it.

    • Gerard Plourde

      You’re right, but knowing TomBa’s penchant for retconning plot, he may be using this as the set-up for Bull’s exit.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Yeah, I’m starting to see it as “Bull thinks he’s a burden to others and doesn’t want to be.” With the likely news that the NFL won’t pay for anything being what pushes him over.

        Which would be absolutely shitty on several counts. One, why wouldn’t Bull think he’s a burden, the way Linda and Buck talked about him right in front of him? Two, setting up the NFL as the bad guy when they have little to no obligation to someone who never even played a regular season game.

        Three, blaming financial stress when we’ve seen no cause of it. Bull’s not getting regular medical treatment. Linda retired, when she’s the same age as her classmates who are still working. They can’t be that bad off. Most importantly, the story hasn’t told or shown us this. She said they probably wouldn’t get money from the NFL, not that they needed it to continue treatment or anything like that.

        This is all speculation at this point, of course. But it’s certainly within how the strip operates.

  15. gleeb

    Batiuk must be kicking himself over having dropped his lettercarrier character.