What I’d Really Like Linda Is To Borrow The Car Keys See Ya Later Can I Have Them Please?

Link To Today’s Strip

Hey, as much as I dislike FW I am a human being, dammit, with feelings and emotions like every other human being, dammit. I mean sure, I get it, Linda is struggling mightily with Bull’s declining cognitive function and his wild angry outbursts and it’s left her feeling distraught, helpless and alone. Man, this comic strip sure is a beam of sunshine, ain’t it?

But anyhow, what was I saying? Oh yeah, feelings and such. I mean as much as I’d like to sympathize with Linda’s plight, watching this play out with the melodrama followed by the inevitable sad little punchline is like being beaten with a big bag of pathos. The driving thing has already been covered, couldn’t he have found some other new way to emphasize Bull’s growing frustration and anger? I just wish something would HAPPEN already. I mean in the end it makes no difference, as The Great Author already ruined the story and all but still. Bull’s supposed to be “angry” all the time so let’s see some ANGER. Broken drywall, smashed trophies, Les getting the shit kicked out of him, anything but the same old car keys gag.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

44 responses to “What I’d Really Like Linda Is To Borrow The Car Keys See Ya Later Can I Have Them Please?

  1. spacemanspiff85

    I have a feeling all Batiuk knows about CTE is what he heard on a five minute news segment once, where they interviewed one spouse, and all she mentioned was that her late husband was mad all the time and she even had to hide his keys from him.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Just a thought that suddenly occurred to me: how about selling Bull’s car? I seem to recall him owning some sort of big truck. It’s a Batiukmobile, book value should be in the tens of dollars. It’s not much but it might help to ease the Tide crunch in the Bushka household.

  2. ComicTrek

    All that’s missing is Le Chat Bleu. Seriously, this is pretty much just Lisa’s Story all over again. Even Batom is aware that the whole thing has been ground into dust. But it’s been too long since he’s last killed anyone off, and CTE is the new big “thing”, so here we are.

    • Charles

      Nah, if this was a Lisa’s Story redux, Batiuk would have weeks devoted to Bull being a snide shithead to other people.

      I recently went looking for that strip of Cindy telling Lisa that she’d support her no matter what even if she doesn’t have all the right words at http://comics.ganneff.de/archive.html
      and even though I got tired of it before finding the strip, I did read much of the final months of Lisa’s Story. She was a egotistical shithead. When it wasn’t Les feeling sorry for himself, it was often her being obnoxious to somebody who didn’t deserve it.

      So at least Bull’s not using CTE as a license to be an asshole.

      • Melissa Jones

        I remember one strip that ran during Lisa’s first round with breast cancer. Les came home from work with a large bouquet of flowers for Lisa. Lisa threw them on the floor and yelled at Les. She asked him how he could possibly think that flowers would make up to her for having breast cancer. Les hadn’t said any such thing.

        • Paul Jones

          This is the sort of thing that leads to people saying “If she were not dead, I would kill her.” It’s stupid and irrational and selfish to assume most of the things she did and it’s for the best that Darin didn’t spend any time listening to bullcrap about how it’s all really his fault she was in that mess.

    • William Thompson

      Cats are wonderful. I couldn’t do without Josette; she’s the perfect match for me. And it warms the shallows of my heart to know that Les has the cat who is just right for him.

      • Double Sided Scooby Snack

        Cool story bro. Is your “justifiable” account still banned on Comics Kingdom? That’s too bad. We TOLD you to play nicely with the other children. The mods only allow you so many snits, and you exceeded your limit. Maybe take it down a notch over there for your own sake. Just sayin’.

        • William Thompson

          I have never used the name of Justifiable. Justifiable and I were and always have been two separate people, unlike you and “Penday Joe.” Do you really need to come here to make a fool of yourself?

          • Double Sided Scooby Snack

            “Penday Joe??” Not me. Seriously. Sorry.

            But for what it’s worth, I was sorry to see your “justifiable” character get banned. The posts were entertaining, but you were too brittle and flew off the handle too easily. You crossed the line and got booted.

            Just a heads up that I see you starting to go down that road over on CK again, so maybe dial it down juuuuust a wee bit before you get spanked again. Just a suggestion!

  3. Doc

    Linda has a hell of a bald spot where her hair is parted. Good artistry, Tom.

  4. Charles

    So Bull clomps in, demands to know where the keys are, and then clomps off. Linda doesn’t stop what she’s doing to help him or distract him to lessen his distress, or even ask why he’s looking for the keys. She instead just lies to him to keep her online pity party going. Who the hell knows what he’s off doing afterward. Whatever it is certainly isn’t worth interrupting Linda feeling sorry for herself.

    Why is it that whenever Batiuk wants us to feel sympathy for one of his characters, he can’t help but make them contemptible instead?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Linda’s unbearable weariness isn’t any different than the weariness she exhibited back when Bull was just a regular idiot. So actually, when you think about it, none of this has had any impact on her personality at all.

      And you’re 100% correct about Lisa, possibly the most insufferable FW character ever. She was a lot like Act III Les but with an extra helping of piety.

    • spacemanspiff85

      Presumably he’s breaking into the neighbors’ house to ask what they did with his keys.

  5. William Thompson

    (There will be a 15% surcharge for delivering this message again.)

  6. Has anybody mentioned that we might see the return of Masky McDeath when Bull dies? I hope so.

  7. William Thompson

    Ever read Bram Stoker’s “Dracula”? It shows you the perfect way to generate sympathy and pity for the characters, and make you admire them in the process. The characters seldom complain about their own problems; they talk about how bad-off someone else is, and how their own problems fade into nothing by comparison. When they do complain, it’s while under a heavy strain, and there’s always someone to help them through it. They even feel pity and a kind of admiration for the Count, and pity for Renfield when he dies redeeming himself. Awesome book just for that.

  8. billytheskink

    Becoming a pretty accomplished liar? Sounds like an awfully short journey to me…

    • Epicus Doomus

      Is Linda the most miserable character in the FW cast? Has she ever been shown genuinely enjoying herself? Becky has to be close, but Linda is always so consistently miserable. Even Funky gets a chuckle every now and again. But never Linda.

      • ComicTrek

        Honestly, I think the happiest we’ve seen her was that strip when she and Bull were getting ready for…”hanky-panky”. ಠ_ಠ

        Yeah. And even then, it wasn’t so much true happiness as it was one of those resigned, sad smiles.

  9. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “I don’t know where the keys are, Bullo. What do you want them for anyways?”

    “I need to kill myself by driving real fast into a wall or off a cliff.”

    “Bottom dresser drawer. Back left corner.”

  10. I always thought that song was depressing–perfect for the “Funky Winkerbean” soundtrack album, then.

    • comicbookharriet

      Especially since it’s about parents willfully ignoring the existence of their own children.

      • William Thompson

        Okay, you’ve got me. Which song is it? The theme from “Everybody Loves Raymond”?

        • “The Cat’s In The Cradle” by Harry Chapin. Great song but depressing to think about.

          • William Thompson

            I had to ask . . . I saw my therapist this morning, and now I need to see her again.

          • Epicus Doomus

            Maudlin pop songs were a thing in the 1970s. “Cat’s In The Cradle”, the story of a neglectful man who raised a neglectful son. “Billy Don’t Be A Hero”, the story of a girl who declined to support the troops. “Convoy”, a story about a horrific traffic jam. And so on.

  11. Paul Jones

    I know that it’s redundant to say that having him yell “Where are my keys, Woman?” like so much Fred Sanford be the limit of his dementia-induced rage is an insult to real people who’ve suffered worse things but it bears repeating.

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    I have to say, this is what the story SHOULD be doing. We see Bull’s anger; we see his desire to do things he can’t do; we see its toll on Linda; there’s even a bit of a punchline, where Linda observes the effect this is having on her personality.

    The overall shallowness of the story aside, this isn’t a bad strip.

  13. Merry Pookster

    Maybe this is Batiuks story… after banging his head so many times trying to come up with a decent story line

  14. Gerard Plourde

    It took me a while to make a response to this because the ham-handedness of the way he’s handling the story is an obvious indictment in itself.