Tag Archives: the gathering darkness

Hide-ku Hai-key

Gasp! It’s today’s strip!
Rummaging through the drawer
Linda finds failure

Bull asked for the keys
Is known obsessive searcher
Just what could go wrong?

Keys barely hidden?
Linda phones homebody Bull?
This is asinine

No, seriously
This narrative makes no sense
All over the place

A Chevette 4 door
Indy 500 pace car…
And what year was that?

Buckeye State Police
Really do use that logo
But don’t use Chevettes

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Critically panned

Linda takes a break from baking a meatloaf? a potato grown under the power lines? you know, let’s go with a small boulder in today’s strip to… call Bull on his cell phone. Is… is that really what is happening here?  What the everwhating what?!

If Linda thought Bull was inside the house, why did she not walk 17 feet to try to find him instead of calling him on the telephone? If she knew he was out, where did she think he was and who did she think he was with (Buck?)? Was she really letting him go out on his own? This is her behavior as a caregiver? Even murderers after life insurance money would say she’s trying too hard.

While Bull didn’t survive his trip off Nobottom Road, his cell phone sure did. Much as how folks in our universe wonder why airplanes aren’t made out of the material used to make black boxes, one would think there are folks in the Batiukverse wondering why they don’t make cars out of the material used to make cell phones…

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What I’d Really Like Linda Is To Borrow The Car Keys See Ya Later Can I Have Them Please?

Link To Today’s Strip

Hey, as much as I dislike FW I am a human being, dammit, with feelings and emotions like every other human being, dammit. I mean sure, I get it, Linda is struggling mightily with Bull’s declining cognitive function and his wild angry outbursts and it’s left her feeling distraught, helpless and alone. Man, this comic strip sure is a beam of sunshine, ain’t it?

But anyhow, what was I saying? Oh yeah, feelings and such. I mean as much as I’d like to sympathize with Linda’s plight, watching this play out with the melodrama followed by the inevitable sad little punchline is like being beaten with a big bag of pathos. The driving thing has already been covered, couldn’t he have found some other new way to emphasize Bull’s growing frustration and anger? I just wish something would HAPPEN already. I mean in the end it makes no difference, as The Great Author already ruined the story and all but still. Bull’s supposed to be “angry” all the time so let’s see some ANGER. Broken drywall, smashed trophies, Les getting the shit kicked out of him, anything but the same old car keys gag.

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Fear And Self-Pity In Westview

Link To Today’s Strip

Uh, it’s called “moral support”, Linda. It “helps” you by connecting with others in similar situations. If the other people in the support group could magically help you, they probably would have already helped themselves too, thus they wouldn’t need a support group. See how that works?

Well, if you thought the Big Moment was coming anytime soon, guess again sucker, because it looks like we’re in for a week of typing. It’s typically Batiukian how Linda’s last-ditch Hail Mary plea to the NFL represented her last glimmer of hope, as in the Funkyverse it’s always something and it’s never, ever your fault. One thing I find baffling is how the entire town just totally deserted Bull after he retired. No one wanted to organize a fund raiser or help Linda mow the lawn? Could his multi-decade tenure as head sports coach and athletic director really have made THAT little of an impact? Wait…don’t answer that.

Coming tomorrow: FW at long last answers the question that’s been plaguing FW scholars since Darin found out the identity of his birth mother, that being is watching a FW character opening and reading mail more interesting, less interesting or equally as interesting as watching them type on a laptop computer?

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