If you read the New York Times, then you’ve already seen today’s strip.
Long time readers are probably wondering why this state trooper is reenacting the second most memorable thing about “The Electric Company” with Linda instead of hauling off her baked meteorite, as the disposal of dangerous foodstuffs is the historical role of the Ohio State Police in Funky Winkerbean. I’m right there with you, as I honestly don’t know.
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Gasp! It’s today’s strip!
Rummaging through the drawer
Linda finds failure
Bull asked for the keys
Is known obsessive searcher
Just what could go wrong?
Keys barely hidden?
Linda phones homebody Bull?
This is asinine
No, seriously
This narrative makes no sense
All over the place
A Chevette 4 door
Indy 500 pace car…
And what year was that?
Buckeye State Police
Really do use that logo
But don’t use Chevettes
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Linda takes a break from baking a meatloaf? a potato grown under the power lines? you know, let’s go with a small boulder in today’s strip to… call Bull on his cell phone. Is… is that really what is happening here? What the everwhating what?!
If Linda thought Bull was inside the house, why did she not walk 17 feet to try to find him instead of calling him on the telephone? If she knew he was out, where did she think he was and who did she think he was with (Buck?)? Was she really letting him go out on his own? This is her behavior as a caregiver? Even murderers after life insurance money would say she’s trying too hard.
While Bull didn’t survive his trip off Nobottom Road, his cell phone sure did. Much as how folks in our universe wonder why airplanes aren’t made out of the material used to make black boxes, one would think there are folks in the Batiukverse wondering why they don’t make cars out of the material used to make cell phones…
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It’s been one week since Bull went to see
Doctor Jowls who we think lives in Raleigh
Five panes in that Sunday strip, telling
Nothing TB had not already let slip
Three days since the garage scene
We get in today’s strip, “the hell was he wearing?”
One hour ago, Bull finally found the key
But it’s still six more weeks ’til we move on from this story
With sincerest apologies to Barenaked Ladies, Canada, and the late 1990s.
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We left yesterday an hour in the past and now today’s strip hops back to the present and then… back a week?! I dunno about CTE, but this kind of rapid time travel is enough to give you whiplash.
Isn’t this Dr. Jowls, the North Carolina neurologist? Bull and Linda were in North Carolina last week? Why is the nearest neurologist in North Carolina anyways? Bull got pretty much the exact same lines from the apparently northern Ohio-based Dr. Fivehead 3 whole years ago.
Some doctor this guy is, he’s all probable diagnosis and no treatment, and his probable diagnosis does not appear to have done a darn thing for Linda’s quest for disability benefits. Is… is that really the only reason she took him to this doctor in the first place?
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Hey, so we get a microcosm of this whole story arc in today’s strip, jumping back an hour prior to the wreck that we’ve already seen… much as TB has already spoiled how this important story arc ends.
The worst thing, though, is that poor, lonesome, neglected potted plant 8-and-a-half feet up on top of the kitchen cabinets… or maybe its that Linda’s oh-so-clever hiding place for the car keys was the top of the unlocked junk drawer? The dadgum JUNK DRAWER, Linda?! The place EVERY sentient being knows that EVERY key-sized thing winds up in at one time or another? Were you even trying?
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Hello folks, I’m billytheskink… but you don’t care about that. You’re here for the grisly details about the award-winning (pending) suicide of one Bull Bushka. So here you are: Today’s strip in all its g(l)ory!
Here comes the state police to 10-50 PI (code for accident/personal injury) the smoldering remains of Bull’s subcompact. This’ll undoubtedly take all week, so pack some snacks. Even so, one day in and it’s better paced than Linda and the letter at least. High praise, I know.
Also, big kudos to @tauycreek on Twitter, who pointed out Bull’s TB’s inspiration for this vehicular mayhem…
It seems odd that in the 21 years since the last accident on this dangerous stretch of road, the road has gotten 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 safe. #FunkyWinkerbean #comics #comicstrips pic.twitter.com/o9E2jFSkCf
— ᗷᖇIᗩᑎ ᕼᗩᒪᒪ (@tauycreek) September 29, 2019
Yep, back in the summer of 1998, an intoxicated Wally drove himself and Becky right through a guardrail and off a ledge. Not sure why those two only lost Lefty’s arm and Bull lost his life, but that’s the Batiukverse for ya.
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Wow. Not only is Funky an imbecilic lard-ass who let his DL expire and tried to renew it with unacceptable copies of official documents, he’s also a scofflaw who brazenly parks his creepy eastern European surplus car in handicapped spots! Sorry there Mr. BanMan, but parking in a handicapped spot isn’t “one of those daffy things” that sometimes happens thanks to the vagaries of The Universe, it’s the callous act of an inconsiderate nitwit. It’s interesting how he couldn’t just let this arc be about the normal hassles one faces at the DMV, he had to make sure his personal whipping boy is as obnoxious and stupid as possible. Maybe tomorrow he’ll run over a box of puppies during the road test, wouldn’t THAT be HILARIOUS????
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Son of Stuck Funky 
