Tag Archives: traffic fatalities

by billytheskink | October 13, 2019 · 12:26 am

Coffin Corner Kick-ed The Bucket

Fortunately, today’s strip stays in one time line. It also quotes one of Bob Dylan’s best-reviewed songs. Well, that’s two positives to the… end-ish? of this very ~~maudlin~~ special story arc. FYI: A donation has been made to the Boston University CTE center, presumably so readers will remember what this story arc was about last month.

So was Bull a member of the local Dylanist congregation or is that the only house of worship in Westview anymore? Both?

And with that, I am relieved… both to be done with my posting stint and, come tomorrow, by the incomparable Spacemanspiff85.

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Tagged as Becky, Bob Dylan, Buck, Buck Bedlow, Bull, Cayla, character death, characters everyone hates, Cindy, crappy ploddinng stories that never get anywhere, CTE, death, Dinkle, endless piles of leaves, endless tedium, Falling leaves, funeral, Harry Dinkle, impending doom, insufferability, Jinx, Keisha, leaves, Les, Les. Cayla, Linda, Linda Bushka, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mickey, Now Cindy, old Harry Dinkle, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, rain, RIP Bull, sheer idiocy, Summer, things that make you seriously regret ever starting to read FW in the first place, things that never end, traffic fatalities, welcoming death

by billytheskink | October 6, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Back Page News

Are you wondering how Bull’s wife and children are mourning his death? Maybe how his former players and fellow coaches, whose lives he surely had a large impact on, have reacted? Well, too bad for you, for the art of storytelling, and for general decency… because today’s strip is focused on four schmucks, only one of whom even knows Bull moderately well (and one who has NEVER once met the guy) and none of whom have talked to Bull in at least 3 full years. Heck, they aren’t even talking about Bull, they are awkwardly reminding us that Cindy was popular in high school.

Bull’s death only made page 2 of the Westview Gazette? This is a town with only five employers and Bull was the most decorated employee in the history of the largest of those. What could possibly have made the front page?

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Tagged as Cayla, character death, characters everyone hates, Cindy, complete lack of humor, Complete Worthless Ass, CTE, death, Falling leaves, football, funeral, Les, Les being a giant smug douche, Les' death, Les' Slob-ass Tie, Les. Cayla, Life is a dismal horror from which you can never escape, Linda, Linda Bushka, Mason, Mason Jarr, Mason Jarre, Mason's Nose, newspapers, Nobottom Road, Now Cindy, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, please make it stop, rain, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, smirk, Spider-Man, things that never end, things to do in Westview when you're dead, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities, Westview Gazette, Westview H.S., Westview High School

by billytheskink | October 5, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Helmet Heir

If you read the New York Times, then you’ve already seen today’s strip.

Long time readers are probably wondering why this state trooper is reenacting the second most memorable thing about “The Electric Company” with Linda instead of hauling off her baked meteorite, as the disposal of dangerous foodstuffs is the historical role of the Ohio State Police in Funky Winkerbean. I’m right there with you, as I honestly don’t know.

FW1-26-86

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, bricks, Bull, character death, CTE, death, disembodied hand, football, impending doom, Linda, Linda Bushka, meatloaf, non-pizza foodstuffs, one of those arcs that just never seems to end, RIP Bull, silent strip, silent strips, silhouette, silhouettes, state police, steam lines, things that never end, things to do in Westview when you're dead, tiny lassos, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities, unidentified background objects

by billytheskink | October 2, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Ratchet excuse of a comic

It’s been one week since Bull went to see
Doctor Jowls who we think lives in Raleigh
Five panes in that Sunday strip, telling
Nothing TB had not already let slip
Three days since the garage scene
We get in today’s strip, “the hell was he wearing?”
One hour ago, Bull finally found the key
But it’s still six more weeks ’til we move on from this story

With sincerest apologies to Barenaked Ladies, Canada, and the late 1990s.

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Tagged as acronym, Batiukmobile®, Bull, character death, CTE, death, doctors, EMS, housework, Linda, Linda Bushka, RIP Bull, state police, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities

by billytheskink | October 1, 2019 · 10:30 pm

Let’s Do The Time Warp Again

We left yesterday an hour in the past and now today’s strip hops back to the present and then… back a week?! I dunno about CTE, but this kind of rapid time travel is enough to give you whiplash.

Isn’t this Dr. Jowls, the North Carolina neurologist? Bull and Linda were in North Carolina last week? Why is the nearest neurologist in North Carolina anyways? Bull got pretty much the exact same lines from the apparently northern Ohio-based Dr. Fivehead 3 whole years ago.

Some doctor this guy is, he’s all probable diagnosis and no treatment, and his probable diagnosis does not appear to have done a darn thing for Linda’s quest for disability benefits. Is… is that really the only reason she took him to this doctor in the first place?

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Bull, character death, CTE, death, doctor guy, doctors, EMS, flimsy guardrails, glib doctors, impending doom, Linda, Linda Bushka, Nobottom Road, North Carolina, RIP Bull, state police, tow truck, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities

by billytheskink | October 1, 2019 · 12:36 am

The Wreck of the Old ’97 Hatchback

Hey, so we get a microcosm of this whole story arc in today’s strip, jumping back an hour prior to the wreck that we’ve already seen… much as TB has already spoiled how this important story arc ends.

The worst thing, though, is that poor, lonesome, neglected potted plant 8-and-a-half feet up on top of the kitchen cabinets… or maybe its that Linda’s oh-so-clever hiding place for the car keys was the top of the unlocked junk drawer? The dadgum JUNK DRAWER, Linda?! The place EVERY sentient being knows that EVERY key-sized thing winds up in at one time or another? Were you even trying?

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, Bull, car keys, character death, CTE, death, flimsy guardrails, impending doom, Nobottom Road, potted plants in strange places, real places in Ohio, RIP Bull, sad-sackery, state police, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities, twisted wreckage

by billytheskink | September 30, 2019 · 12:18 am

@#$% What? Rollers. No. Yeah. @#$%

Hello folks, I’m billytheskink… but you don’t care about that. You’re here for the grisly details about the award-winning (pending) suicide of one Bull Bushka. So here you are: Today’s strip in all its g(l)ory!

Here comes the state police to 10-50 PI (code for accident/personal injury) the smoldering remains of Bull’s subcompact. This’ll undoubtedly take all week, so pack some snacks. Even so, one day in and it’s better paced than Linda and the letter at least. High praise, I know.

Also, big kudos to @tauycreek on Twitter, who pointed out Bull’s TB’s inspiration for this vehicular mayhem…

It seems odd that in the 21 years since the last accident on this dangerous stretch of road, the road has gotten 𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 safe. #FunkyWinkerbean #comics #comicstrips pic.twitter.com/o9E2jFSkCf

— ᗷᖇIᗩᑎ ᕼᗩᒪᒪ (@tauycreek) September 29, 2019

Yep, back in the summer of 1998, an intoxicated Wally drove himself and Becky right through a guardrail and off a ledge. Not sure why those two only lost Lefty’s arm and Bull lost his life, but that’s the Batiukverse for ya.

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Tagged as character death, death, flimsy guardrails, impending doom, Nobottom Road, police, real places in Ohio, RIP Bull, state police, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities

by Epicus Doomus | September 28, 2019 · 10:31 pm

Where Do We Go From Here?

Link To Today’s Strip

Every SoSF guest host after thirteen days…

Not available for preview. Maybe the ponderous CTE arc continues, maybe it’s Les raking leaves or Funky fixing the band box or Roberta finally descending from the scissor lift…who the hell knows? But, and I hate to break it to you, I don’t think this is the Big One yet, folks. Nope, there’s more water to tread here, unless that NYT interview was some sort of elaborate troll. Sigh.

UPDATE: Wow, Bull DID find the car keys! A classic morbid Sunday FW strip. I thought we still had another week of stalling but nope. We’ve already seen next Sunday’s strip so what now? A week of no one knowing where Bull is? A week of Linda reading his suicide note word by painstaking word?

Coming on Monday: billytheskink takes over for what promises to be a monumental two week stint. Or it would have been, if the Great Pulitzer Nominee didn’t stupidly gak it all up. Nevertheless, you’ll be in great hands!

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Tagged as Batiukmobile®, character death, feet, flimsy guardrails, Nobottom Road, RIP Bull, silent strip, suicide, traffic accidents, traffic fatalities

Tag Archives: traffic fatalities

Coffin Corner Kick-ed The Bucket

Back Page News

Helmet Heir

Ratchet excuse of a comic

Let’s Do The Time Warp Again

The Wreck of the Old ’97 Hatchback

@#$% What? Rollers. No. Yeah. @#$%

Where Do We Go From Here?

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