I’m not sure I understand you fully, Dullard. Could you state that as a question?
Seriously, why does Dullard’s statement end with a question mark? This is the sort of response when you’ve been found out, and are hurriedly trying to think of an answer that will defuse the situation. “My–eye doctor? Ha ha, no, of course it isn’t my eye doctor! That would be silly! I meant I might…try…a new…locker! Yeah, that’s it!”
While it is almost certainly his eye doctor he’s seeing (boy are we getting a theme in 2021 or what?), it’s interesting that his reaction to an angry Jessica is to shrink in terror. Again, boy, is this a healthy relationship. (Answer: no, it isn’t.) Most husbands or wives would probably be amused by the anger and say, “Oh hi honey. I’ve been seeing an eye doctor. I just didn’t want you to worry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you in the dark. Where do you want to go for lunch?”
Because, again in a healthy relationship, Dullard would know that Jessica was coming to visit. She’d have told him. She wouldn’t have just popped by…although that seems to be exactly how Atomik Komix (spit) headquarters seems to work. In a healthy relationship, she wouldn’t have wanted to keep him in the dark. In a healthy relationship.
Speaking of the dark, wow, that’s some cloud there descending in panel three to envelope (and hopefully digest) the three idiots.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Congrats to our snarkers who successfully guessed “he needs glasses”. Nicely done. So yeah, Jessica, who just barged on into Atomik Komix headquarters uninvited for no discernible reason, is apparently stunned to learn that her husband of twenty-plus years requires glasses, which seems quite implausible, to say the least. Then again, pretty much every aspect of their marriage seems implausible at best, so at least it’s consistent.
On what planet would a wife not know her husband was going to the eye doctor? My mom FORCED my dad to go before my sister’s wedding, so he could update his glasses for the first time in fifteen years.
All this because Ayers can no longer differentiate between Masone and Darrin in his art.
WHAAA-WHAAA-WAAAAAAAA!!!
Who needed an eye doctor to see this coming?
So Messica never noticed that her husband was having vision problems? In normal relationships, when one partner is having health issues, it’s normal for the other to notice the problem and nag the partner into seeing a doctor. But maybe these two dorks aren’t the most observant creatures on earth. Which makes it possible that one day they’ll come home, see a child’s skeleton on the kitchen floor, and ask “Skyler? When did you lose all that weight?”
Jessica’s expression is less “oooh that cheating husband” and more “I will murder every man, woman, and child within this city block.”
And that’s still less disturbing than the state of their marriage. Is the rest of the week going to be them filing for divorce because girls don’t make passes at boys who wear glasses?
Yeah, it’s an interesting character trait all right. She shows up unannounced and uninvited then flies into a murderous jealous rage after misconstruing an overheard conversation. The fact that BatHam apparently believes this makes Jessica cute and endearing is equally troubling. And the wild unruly hair only serves to make it even more disturbing.
I bet Lisa never did this. She always knew what was going on, even from beyond the grave. Nor did she ever have the jealousy either.
And it’s almost identical to Cindy Summers’ insane, angry jealousy over Mason Jarre’s female co-stars.
“Oh, and by the way, Honey, my eye doctor is a drop dead gorgeous redhead who’s into Klingon cosplay, and every time I into her examination chair I cry out “Open hailing frequencies, Lt. Uhura!,” and she laughs and says “I get that reference!,” and then we start making out with me in the chair and her on top of me, and every time she changes her position she asks me “Is that better 1, or better 2?,” and then I say “I get that reference!”
The saddest thing in all of this, of course, is that–after three straight days of being carefully arranged on a hanger–Jessica’s jacket/sweater/shirt thing appears to have unceremoniously dumped on the cloakroom floor
For my own amusement, I’m going to pretend that Pete knew Jessica was within earshot the whole time, and deliberately phrased his questions to provoke her.
Now that would actually be funny but alas, it’d require giving both Pete and Jessica another personality trait and as we all know that simply isn’t possible. I mean he still hasn’t even found one for Boy Lisa.
What reason could there possibly to keep “I think I need glasses” a secret from your wife? Or, in Wally’s case, “I’m teaching my co-worker to drive”? What is it with these guys?
And Wally was even worse since he was freaking skipping work shifts as the manager just to give an employee driving lessons…
1. A conversation by two bros talking about eyeglasses doesn’t work that way…
2. This only makes sense if Darrin and the wifey never, ever see or talk to each other for months despite living in the same house…
Or if she’s just returned to Worstview from Hollywood. Maybe Batiuk forgot about that, the way he keeps forgetting about Skyler, the Lisa movie, Dingle’s retirement, Buddy the Wonderdog . . .
So does Darrin need the same surgery Funky just got? Could be a Funky/Darrin bonding storyline
The amount of padding that has gone into this strip lately could stuff a sofa. Beyond the implausible premise that Jessica wouldn’t observe Darrin’s vision problems, the gag didn’t need three days of set up.
The past four days could have been one strip:
Truly this is more interesting, energetic, and amusing. But if it was one strip what would he do for the rest of the week? Progress the plot? Go somewhere with this? Don’t be ridiculous.
If Pete’s eyebags get drawn any lower he’s going to have a Snidely Whiplash moustache.
Tune in tomorrow when we’ll see Chester say, “You needed glasses? I thought you were drawing like that on purpose.”
Don’t really get the first criticism here–it’s actually pretty normal to deliver a response like that in a questioning, uptalk-y way, especially when trying to convey disbelief, confusion, or sarcastic disdain for the question. Imagine it as part of, like, “Uh, the eye doctor? Ever HEARD of it?”
This is actually pretty realistic compared to most of Batiuk’s normal dialogue, and miles better than the psychotic sub-sitcom lunacy going on in the rest of this strip.
(or, perhaps a more relevant expansion for this situation, “Uh…the eye doctor? Are you okay, honey?”)
So what’s with TB and these eye doctor strips? Is he fishing for an award from the Ophthalmologist’s trade association or is this a passive aggressive coded message to Chuck Ayers to get his (already bespectacled) eyes checked?
0 to She-Hulk in 3.9 seconds.