So Dullard was afraid that Jessica would think he was a nerd, because he was wearing glasses.
And then what? Divorce him? “Your honor, this man wears glasses. No wife wants a man who wears glasses.”
Seriously? I mean, sure there was a time when wearing glasses was considered “uncool” and perhaps a bit of a stigma…among school children, on television sitcoms. In the 1960‘s (at the latest). And I’m betting on each of those sitcoms the resolution was that it was “okay” to wear glasses.
Today, I’m not sure I know anyone who doesn’t wear glasses. It’s not a trait that really stands out anymore.
In a better comic strip, this could be the start of a “bit” that could be hilarious, as over the coming days Dullard tries increasingly bizarre ways to hide his glasses from Jessica. Because what else could his plan be?
Let me restate this: Dullard didn’t want Jessica to know he needs glasses. Since they are a married couple, and not casual acquaintances, this would be a very difficult achievement. “What are those?” “These? Nothing! Funky asked me to keep his glasses, just in case.” Later: “While we’re driving in the car, can you tell me when you see the signs for the exit for HorribleDemise Lane?” “Uh, I’ve got a better idea! Why don’t we ask Skyler, to test his reading ability?” “Oh, that’s such an awesome idea from a father! My father was murdered by the way.”
Skyler: “M-U-R-D-E-R-E-D. Murdered. Shot to death while on the air.”
This scenario, though, would require the creativity of 1950’s sitcom writer, which Batiuk can’t give, can’t even buy, and just doesn’t get.
Skyler: “A-E-O-N space F-L-U-X. Something unfathomably better than this horrible existence could ever be.”
(Sorry, I love that intro and wish I could do something half as cool.)
It’s another example of Tom Batiuk deciding that the first thing he thinks of would make a good story. “What if…Dullard had to wear glasses?” Well, what if? That’s just boring. “What if he wanted to hide this from Jessica?” What? That doesn’t make any sense! And it’s still boring!