I don’t think I’ve ever seen Funky so determined on a goal as in panel one. Run, fat-boy, run! And panel two is also pretty remarkable, as the “monster” managed to shed his costume…and the boxes comprising said costume don’t have any holes cut into them! You know, what you’d need to do to make a costume out of pizza boxes. Either that, or the “monster” is still fully boxed and we see that Montoni’s just tosses the trash into the alley, like everyone else in Westview. Because what is there, apart from trash and garbage? Certainly nothing valuable.
The third denouement–that this was a magical pizza monster made of intact boxes–is probably what Batiuk hoped people will take from it, but the dash around the corner kills that stone dead.
And thus ends another remarkably stupid storyline. If I had to say something positive, well. at least Les wasn’t in it.
That positive won’t last, by the way. Just thought I’d throw a late Halloween scare at ya.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Huh? The Pizza Monster left through the front door and Funkly followed it out the front door into the alley? What
demonicdumbonic power made that possible?Fungy turns around and sees a brick wall (glorious, beautiful bricks!) where the door to his restaurant [sic] had been. He then sniffs a slight odor of sulfur and realizes the pizza “monster” led him through a supernatural portal and into Hell. He shrugs, smiles, and mutters “still better than Westview.”
Gather up those demon-controlled boxes, Funky, so next Halloween they can be repossessed!
It must have been Crazy Harry in the costume. Nobody else would be dumb enough to forget to cut holes in the boxes.
And now he’s running around Main Street wearing nothing more than a slice of pepperoni pizza and a pair of tennis shoes. In other, words, it’s a typical Saturday night in Westview.
Sorry. I was wrong. Acid. Funky’s dropping acid. Having a bad trip.
So essentially this little arc ends with Funky picking up trash in an alley? That sounds about right. A slapdash premise drawn up on a pizzeria placemat? That sounds about right too. In fact it’s the title of the latest FW collection. “Slapdash Premises And Pizzeria Placemats: A Compendium Of One & Out FW Arcs 2007-2019”. Revisit those ten thousand “other” arcs you forgot about two seconds after they ended, like “Linda Bushka teaches Cody and Owen in a “Family Living” course”, “The Dinkles and Becky travel to the Ohio Music Education Conference”, “A Crankshaft crossover about the time Montoni’s team won a holiday bowling tournament vs. the schoolbus drivers” and so, so many more.
Well he is shilling for volume 8 of the Funky collection at his website and at Akron ComicCon. Blah, blah blah, engaging, evolving….whatever.
At first I thought they were bloodstains. Then I thought they were pizza sauce. To my dismay, I realized they were neither.
My guess is that Bathack would have us belief that the ghost is heading back to the graveyard.
So it was Bull who took the pizza? Man, Batiuk won’t give that poor soul any rest!
BRICKS!
So at the end of the week, this is nothing more than a promotion for Luigi’s Restaurant. Which came after two weeks of promoting Lisa’s Story books, and promoting a prestige arc that was supposed to run ten weeks, but was wrapped up in five weeks with all the effort and tenderness of a truck stop handjob.
Hey Tom Batiuk, you want to sell more books? Tell an interesting story for a change! Give your readers something new, not reruns of a placemat you drew on the side! Explore your characters” emotions, don’t just dress them up for a funeral and frog-march them through meaningless flashbacks, while they make sad faces like the Browns just gave up a touchdown. Stop shoving your pet characters and topics down the audience’s throat, while inflicting random misery on everyone else. Learn what courtesy is, and have your characters exhibit it once in awhile. Or, if you want them to be sociopaths, go all the way with it. Learn what tone is, and try to give your characters appropriate reactions to things. And finally, whatever trauma you suffered in high school, get over it already!
If I saw this Funky in real life I’d guess he weighs about 300 lbs. And he jogs?? No. Don’t think so. It’s so easy to snark on “so bad it’s good”. Super difficult to snark on this crap.
Mopey Linda in the header. Those of you betting that we would get back to Bullsh*t’s Story please come up to collect your prize.
Thank you, ma’am, may I have another?
The scary thing is that Funky looks like Crankshaft.
To summarize the action today: We see Funky erratically launching into full trot in pursuit of the pizzabox thing. Then, abruptly, he stops and assumes a look of detached cool as he calmly strokes his blobby chin.