Lisavania: Legacy of Darkness

Link to today’s strip

And here we come to the Axis Mundi of the Funkyverse. The centerpoint around which all things turn. Lisa’s Legacy.

And what is Lisa’s Legacy? In universe, her legacy seems to be appropriating the suffering of others to line the pockets of her foundation. From Funky passing out during her annual ‘fun’ run, to Phil Holt’s lifetime of work being auctioned off to honor a woman who never read comics. All the people who stand in Les’ book lines to tell him that they were compelled to buy the book because the tragic story inside mirrors their own past trauma, all feeding her legacy with their dollars and pain.

And now we learn of Bull’s yearly guilt offering. Money poured into Lisa’s Legacy by a man who would later despair when the NFL refused him monetary help. This strip is completely nonsensical for so many reasons.

1.) As many of you have pointed out, Bull helped with the organization of several Lisa’s Legacy events. In that light a yearly donation is hardly surprising. So why does Les look so bemused?

2.) Why is Linda only seeing this when going through old check stubs? Did her and Bull have separate accounts? Even so, if the donation was substantial in the least, shouldn’t Linda have been aware of it? They’ve got kids who had college to pay for.

3.) Why wouldn’t Les be aware of Bull’s yearly donation? Who cashes the checks and handles the finances for the foundation he started? Even if others are helping to run it, do we really believe Les wouldn’t keep tabs on the donors?

Batiuk twists his characters in knots and throws logic out the window just to name drop the foundation that serves as an evergreen reminder of the ‘most important’ thing he ever wrote.

He’ll do anything to plug Lisa’s Legacy.

Even kill.

43 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

43 responses to “Lisavania: Legacy of Darkness

  1. Well, let’s look at the tally.

    Bull–

    1. Admired Les, and considered him a friend.

    2. Pretended to bully Les, to thwart actual bullies.

    3. Organized and ran a Lisa Legacy Run, because Les couldn’t because reasons.

    4. On his own time and for no reward, helped Summer go through rehab when she got a knee injury.

    5. Helped Les train for his Kilimanjaro hike.

    6. Gave annually to the Lisa Legacy fund.

    7. And I seem to recall during the USA! USA! arc, he brought the football team to the hospital to donate blood for Lisa.

    Les–

    1. Abandoned Bull once he learned he was ill.

    2. Avoided him after his retirement.

    3. Remembered NOTHING of post-bully Bull, but obsessed over bully Bull’s bullyness.

    4. Threatened to stab Bull with a pen when Bull compared Les’ success to Pete Rectum’s comic career.

    5. Openly humiliated Bull on the tennis court.

    Sure seems to me that the New York Times readers are getting an eyeful of what a needy, self-absorbed, cowering little creature Les Moore is. And how everyone around him does nothing but salve his feelings, day in and day out. “I suffered so much when my wife died!” Of course, maybe New York Times readers like that kind of character.

    “I screwed up.”

    “Yes you did.”

  2. Epicus Doomus

    As usual BatHack has taken a foolproof, no-brainer premise and turned it into a display of total ineptitude as only he can. Les visits Linda. They reminisce about the “olden days”, they reflect on how Les and Bull buried the hatchet, they exchange a few zany Bull anecdotes, Linda gives Les a photo, Les looks sad, the f*cking end. A child could write it.

    Unfortunately though, no children were available so BatYam took a stab at it and, as always, churned out an incomprehensible slapdash mess where literally every single detail of the story either makes no sense or is totally impossible. Cops are falsifying reports, death helmets are being placed on mantelpieces, Bull used to like Les in high school, Les is stunned to learn that his longtime friend and coworker who once rehabbed his daughter’s exploded knee for free also donated money to the charity he runs. See? It all either makes no sense or is just plain impossible.

    And squeezing “Lisa’s Legacy” into this story…man, he truly has no shame whatsoever. Also note how Bull donated to LL, not Les’ “good friend” Linda, who was apparently too busy being wry, cynical and/or miserable to be bothered. With each passing strip it becomes more and more obvious why Bull had to die, as he was pretty much the only decent human being in the whole damn thing. F*ck Linda and f*ck Dick Facey too but most of all f*ck the guy who wrote this crap for his half-assed “tribute” to the character he whacked for some brief cheap attention.

  3. William Thompson

    “Les, Bull started giving money to the Lisa Legacy Fund when he was diagnosed with CTE, and he made an ‘annual’ contribution every damned month! I want that money back, you leech!”

  4. William Thompson

    And Harry Dinkle is going to get worked into this mess? Man, isn’t there any good news today, like another dinosaur-killing asteroid on a collision course with the earth?

  5. ComicTrek

    I’m sure they had to have known about that already, so I’m going to ignore it.
    Instead, my mind is focused on Linda’s posture. Is she supposed to be rubbing against him that closely? I misread “annual” as something entirely else, and I’m NOT even kidding. ಠ_ಠ

  6. William Thompson

    “Funny thing, Les, Bull wrote Still love you 4ever, Lisa! on each check, with a little heart drawn over the I in ‘Lisa.'”

  7. billytheskink

    I’ll just leave these here. Maybe TB will see them.

    • Man, is this one of those Slylock Fox things, spot the six differences? Cos they register very similar in my brain. Maybe I should donate to the Lisa Legacy thing to get the key?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Batiuk spent decades on establishing the Bull/Les post-high school relationship, then totally undid the whole thing in a week. It’s classic Batiuksturbation, it was all for absolutely nothing. It’s no different than if Becky came strolling into work on Monday sporting two arms. I mean Bull used personal checks to donate to LL, thus Les HAS TO know about his yearly contributions, unless he doesn’t run LL, which just creates even more unanswered questions.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Not only that, it undermines all of Act I. If Les isn’t really suffering at the hands of Bull, then where is the humor? Comedy is based on suffering.

      • Doc

        Why didn’t Les take one of Dearly Departed Lisa’s arms and have it attached to Becky? That’s possible in Ohio isn’t it?

  8. William Thompson

    “If I’d only known!” Les thinks. “I would have visited Bull and squeezed more money out of him!”

  9. Gerard Plourde

    I was going to write that I was stunned that the supposed CTE arc would be supplanted by a pitch for Lisa’s Legacy, but on second thought realized how totally predictable that twist is.

  10. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “A check for ten bucks?!! What a cheap bastard!”

  11. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    “…I noticed that Bull made an annual contribution to a website called ‘Lads in Leather’.”

  12. The Square Crotch Kid

    But wait! There’s more!

  13. Paul Jones

    We’re getting a picture of an unpleasant little piece of crap who’s so obsessed with every minor slight he ever suffered that it pushes positive experiences clean out of his mind. He can’t remember all the good stuff Bull did for him because if someone made a comic mock-up of his brain, it would be mostly taken up by “Self-pitying maundering about high school crap everyone else has moved on from.”

    • ComicTrek

      I think we’re just inside of another retcon. Apparently, Bull has always been a brain-damaged, fee-fie-foe-fumming moron and none of those good deeds ever happened.

      For now.

  14. Rusty Shackleford

    Wait. Bull commits suicide and his idiot wife is blabbing about Lisa?

    Now I hope she doesn’t get a dime of settlement or insurance money.

    Bull, it turns out, was the only genuine person, everyone else is an idiot.

  15. Count of Tower Grove

    Check stubs? When did Lisa’s Legacy begin, 1977? Canceled checks? My financial institution was storing copies in its database for fifteen years. Lindumb didn’t know about these contributions before? She’s saying she had no input in tax preparation(?)*

    *(?) indicates up talk.

  16. Count of Tower Grove

    Go to funkywinkerbean.com, click Lisa’s Legacy tab and you’ll be taken to “Attackers might be trying to steal your information from secure.uhgiving.org (for example, passwords, messages, or credit cards).”
    And they blamed Cory for the missing cash!

  17. Banana Jr. 6000

    Linda’s damning Bull with faint praise. “Here’s an old picture of you and Bull, and a flashback that proves it’s meaningless. Here’s a donation he made to your charity, even though he ran the event for you one year.” Is this supposed to be touching? Even Linda and Les look like they’re just going through the script.

  18. Margaret

    You know, I am seriously beginning to wonder whether Batiuk is starting to show the symptoms of early dementia. Really, not kidding. That would make sense of the fact that he seems to have forgotten large parts of his story in the middle, but remembers details from the very early parts. That’s what often happens with dementia. My elderly relative clearly remembers her childhood, but has largely forgotten some 70 years from then till now. If it’s true, we may all feel bad about mocking him when it becomes obvious.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Interesting theory. Tom Batiuk’s own cancer inspired Lisa’s arc, so why shouldn’t his own dementia inspire Bull’s? He’s certainly not going to draw subject matter from outside his very small circle of interests.

    • Gerard Plourde

      I’ve had the same thought.

    • I’ve thought that at times as well. The thing is, I strive to criticize the work and not the man. I’m not always successful, I’ll admit–when he throws Lisa’s Story in to shill his greatest hit, I get steamed–but should this theory pan out, it won’t be my fault that no one caught on in time. If anything, cast an eye at the syndicate who kept an unwell man working so they could profit.

  19. sgtsaunders

    Where’s Jinx through all of this?

  20. William Thompson

    Batiuk doesn’t think he’s shilling the Lisa-Legacy franchise. He thinks he’s reminding everyone that this strip has always had an interest in charity and noble causes. Of course the only cause that lasts beyond his movie-of-the-week interest is cancer. And we’re lucky he couldn’t figure out a way to give Lisa his prostate cancer, or we’d hear a lot more about that particular issue.

  21. hitorque

    1. I thought the actual joke here was going to be “Bull only meant to donate once but actually set up an repeating gift automatically deducted annually and forgot about it because CTE, LOL!” But I forget Batiuk doesn’t know modern technology exists so OF COURSE Bull physically scratched out a check every year and mailed it (and diligently recorded the amount on the stubs in his ledger which is *perfectly* in character with his legendary dim-witted absentmindedness)…

    2. How does Linda not know about this? Is there any man alive who would donate generously to a local charity and NOT tell his spouse about it to reinforce what a swell guy he is?? Did they never do joint tax returns the last 20 years? And all this time, Linda never donated once??

    3. How in fuck’s name does Lester not know about the contributions? Instead of smirking, shouldn’t he be ashen white with the sudden guilt of knowing he never properly thanked his lifelong friend and colleague when he was still alive? In some alternate, half-sane dimension, wouldn’t Les be rushing out the door to set up a similar annual gift for CTE research? Or god forbid use some of those monies from his Lisa Anthology books to endow a scholarship at Bull’s college (was it Bowling Green? Miami of Ohio? I don’t remember)…

    3A: More Lester: “WELL, DURR… I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE VISITED BULL MORE THAN THE ZERO TIMES I DID DURING HIS RETIREMENT!! I KNOW IF THE SITUATION WAS REVERSED AND ANY LEGACY CHARACTER ACTED IN SUCH A DOUCHEBAGGY MANNER TO ME, OUR BENEVOLENT SKYGOD AUTHOR WOULD HAVE STRUCK THEM DEAD!!”

    3B: Because I’m an actual human being with a soul, discovering something new about a recently deceased friend or loved one I can no longer talk to drives me into a weeklong depression. But in the Funkyverse it barely warrants interest from legacy characters.

    3C: And you thought that bitter old comic book artist who got cheated out of millions and ended his days doing quickie sketches for kids’ birthday parties and died penniless only to come back as a ghost and watch Darrin(?) sell his old artwork and memorabilia for hundreds of thousands of dollars had an undignified end…

    4. Westview High doesn’t come off well here, either… FFS there should still be plenty of football players still on the team from Bull’s last year, and not one of them could be bothered to visit? Linda worked at the school for how many years, and not one of her co-workers aside from Les came by??

    5. So what other amazing retcons are we going to get squeezed in? Bull lowkey set up the Les-Lisa marriage? Lisa was going to divorce Les but one secret phone call to Bull made her give the marriage another chance? Bull bulk-purchased 50,000 copies of Lester’s books and put them in a storage container so after his death they could be donated to libraries or orphanages or whatever? Bull wrote an unpublished graphic novel about high school sports and high school life in general and it’s just like Series I Funky mixed with Gil Thorp; but it’s actually good? Bull set up the camera and recorded/directed all of Lisa’s video diaries? Bull floated a gentleman’s loan to Funkmeister to keep Montoni’s in business? The St. Louis Football Cardinals never meant to cut Bull and it was a clerical error that kept him from making the roster? The only reason why Cindy-Sommers-Winkerbeane-Jarre kept coming back to Shitsburg, Ahia was because Bull was the only man who could properly pound all three of her holes until dawn and the two carried an on/off clandestine affair for 30 years?

  22. Professor Fate

    Yes to what everyone said. But dear lord that smirk in the third panel. There is more pure horror there in that smugness than in a horde of the children of Yog-Sothoth. It is the crawling chaos it is the abyss itself.
    And I’d like to think that Les has been skimming the money from the fund to finance his own book tours but that’s the romantic in me.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Given the portrait of his character presented so far, skimming from Lisa’s Legacy for personal enrichment (and neglecting Summer and Cayla in the process) would fit Les perfectly.