Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holiday Greetings Of Choice from your pals at SoSF! Your hilarious comments are the blood that oils the gears of snark! It’d all be nothing without you.
Special thanks to Team SoSF, your talents and witticisms are the engine that turns those aforementioned bloody snarking gears. Without you it’d just be two increasingly desperate souls trying to tell the world about the daily atrocities taking place in the funny pages. Here’s hoping that 2020 spares you those annoying “unavailable” weeks and those even more annoying ten week “Lisa’s Story” arcs as well. It’d all be nothing without you.
Leave it to BatWrite to turn little baby Skyler into a temperamental churlish little jerk on Christmas morning. No happiness, no joy, no basking in Santa’s bounty, just anger and greed. So typical of These Kids Today. I mean OK, deciding to not write jokes every day anymore and taking the strip in a new serialized dramatic direction is one thing but geez, can’t this guy just stop wallowing in this wry irony-based human misery for even one day?
Skyler holding a dripping slice of pizza and saying “pizza isn’t a present” would have been way, way funnier. BatHam seems to have a real problem with younger male characters. Cory was a surly hoodlum, Owen was a sleazy dirtbag, Cody was a weird pervert, Bernie is all gross and weird, Rachel’s kid was a cube-headed dolt and now little baby Skyler is an obnoxious little snot too. It’s like it’s a pattern of sorts. It’s almost as if he wants someone to leave his lawn or something.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Well we know this is what Batty will be saying tomorrow.
His wife got him clothes so he will look nice for his book signings, but he really wanted comic books.
Does Lisa’s story count as a present?
(Lugging enormous book to car, dropping it in trunk with a mighty thud)
“(Huff huff) I wish people would stop buying me this cancer book, I told them I HATE-read FW, I’m NOT a fan!”
“You have to stop storing those cancer books in the hall closet, they’re beginning to warp the floor. Put them on Ebay or something.”
(Hysterical laughter)
Why I don’t discuss FW in “real life”.
Wife? You mean his momma.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
Merry Christmas to everyone!!…except those in Westview…lumps of coal for them. And a trainload of coal for Bats.( Or at least I picture a dump truck unloading in his driveway.)
Delivered by a sullen and disinterested train operator, no doubt.
“Clothes aren’t presents!” Really? Toss him out in the snow like that, Messica, and see how he feels about that jacket. Or just give him a black-striped candy cane, like the one on your tree.
Bratty kids, sleazy kids, idiot kids–is Batiuk reliving his childhood for us?
Should I even ask where Duuuhhhren is? Of course not. Clearly, he prefers to be at least a couple thousand miles away from Bighair McBimbo and that bratty little kid. They’re always trying to keep him from doing what he really wants to do – Give gobs of money to Lisa’s Larceny Fund and date Mopey Pete.
Christmas comes but once a year, last time I checked. Maybe a good chance for Batty showing some forgotten characters coming home to be with family. There are lots of amusing, or maybe sappy, things he could do with his Christmas episode.
But nooooooooo. Batty chooses to represent Christmas with a nasty, spoiled, ungrateful little piece of shit brat. Guessing little Skyhook will be a postal employee in the next time jump, after getting his degree in Postal Science from K*nt State.
Hey ‘Rents! You know what would be super cool? If the both of you would put aside your lame career paths and actually parent me instead of foisting me off on grandma. That would be a Christmas miracle and a nice present.
And, just spitballing here, but when you do come to visit, how about some quality time instead of the whole drunk monkey on a cupcake thing. That would be great.
Skyler’s got a different face in the SoSF banner, so we must be in for another day of his Christmas spirit. And I was so hoping to see Creepy Les die of exposure while trapped in a blizzard.
And bratty kids complaining about their Christmas gifts aren’t comedy, Sport. Welcome to the Funkyverse.
Also, is Durwin still back at the Atomix office trading fanboy ephemera with Chester? He didn’t care about seeing his demonspawn for the holidays? Why didn’t she let him open a package with a toy first? And is that an official Starbuck Jones pajama top the little twerp is wearing?
Merry Christmas, Funksters!
Closest thing little Skyhook would ever get to a new mom would be Mopey Pete.
It doesn’t get any better on the other side. That’s because Crankshaft is staring at disapproval at the mess HE has to haul to the curb tomorrow.
Batiuk has trouble with joy for one reason: he thinks that people need to smarten up and realize how bad the world is because he’s a dumbass who doesn’t understand that we all already know this. He thinks he’s helping by denying us relief but he fucking isn’t.
Merry Christmas, everyone.
So, Skyler’s got to be four or five, right? But Summer’s still an undergrad. Uh huh.
As far as I know, Jessica never moved back from California, did she? So did she come back for Christmas, or did Skyler go out there? Where the heck is Durwood? Who’s living room is this?
Some months ago, she announced she was moving to Ohio and giving up her career. I don’t remember when and refuse to look it up, but this was after the Butter Brickle film swept the Oscars.
Todd thinks it’s funny, but it’snot.
I am currently between image hosting sites, and anyway I don’t have time to do the artwork, so I will leave this to your imagination:
Replace the jacket with a copy of “Lisa’s Never Ending Misery Story.”
Replace the word zeppelin with “COMICS AREN’T BOOKS!”
Merry Christmas, Todd.
Of course Skyler is unhappy. Look at the personality Batiuk gave him for Christmas.
He’s definitely his father’s son. Darin regularly got all bitchy when Skyler received attention and presents because he felt excluded and didn’t feel that people were as generous with him when he was a child.
Perhaps he has abandonment issues, since Mommy was in California for a long time.
And it took Skyler and Mommy an entire year to drive from Westview to Hollywood, back when they moved there to join Daddy. Who later left them to return to Westview.
And of course, Skyler’s wearing a Starbuck Jones t-shirt. Gotta get those orders in now, folks!
Not Funny.
Moving on now.