Women Are Vain, Get It?

Oh, joy. More character development for Cindy. Of course, being the Hot Blonde model of female in this strip, there is basically nothing to her character apart from obsession over how attractive men find her (the other model of female is Frumpy Potato-Nose). Good job, Tom Batiuk. Honestly this strip would’ve been better off being totally wordless and just putting a little more effort into drawing a pretty, scenic nighttime beach scene. Of course, the writing took zero effort.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Women Are Vain, Get It?

  1. Epicus Doomus

    He really, REALLY needs to stop with the “girl talk”, like right now. This is just embarrassing. Does every single Cindy appearance absolutely have to center around her “fading looks”? He’s been working this angle since she first returned to Act III, which was at least seven or eight years ago and it’s just repetitious and warped.

    • billytheskink

      He really has, and it’s been… 12 years?!

      Here’s Cindy 5 strips into Act III:

      10 strips in:

      And just for good measure, here she is replaying the same dang New Year’s memory she did earlier this week 12 strips into her Act III appearances:

      • Epicus Doomus

        I must have been thinking about when she got fired for being (sigh) too old and wrinkly, which was one of the more absurd Act III arcs he’s done…to date, that is. On top of that she’s always drawn like she’s twenty-three, she’s never shown any “actual” signs of advanced aging at all, unlike Holly, for example. “I think it’d be very funny if the “hot girl” from Act I suddenly began constantly fretting about her fading looks”…yeah, MAYBE once but not every freaking time.

        • hitorque

          The most shocking part is in real life, even the women whose livelihoods depend solely on their looks (models, marginally talented actresses who always get work because of their face/body/willingness to get nude, Playboy Bunnies, etc.), the VAST majority of them are smart enough by the time they’re in their mid 30s to realize they’re going to need another hustle or income stream sooner or later… Whether it’s going into business for themselves, starting a clothing or cosmetics line, writing tell-all books about their industry, or just getting married off to a rich dude…

          So what the he is she even so upset about? She’s WAYYY past the age when this shit should matter anymore.

          You know what I think? I think “fading looks” is Batiuk really wanting to say Cindy is worried about aging and mortality, which is perfectly normal. The problem is an old age/death anxiety storyline can’t possibly work with a woman who looks 40 years older than she really is…

      • hitorque

        “Doll Face”?! Did he just step out of a 1930s time warp or something??

        And don’t get me started over Cindy being sad that some horndog teenager didn’t throw a lecherous line in her direction…

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        “She’s fifteen?” The boy looks fifteen, what’s the problem exactly?

        • hitorque

          You knew Les was going to cockblock when some teen showed more brash bravery with girls than Les had in his entire life.

    • hitorque

      Nevermind the fact that:

      1. The whole “fading looks” trope is a bunch of bullshit since Cindy looks better than any 60-year-old you can name.

      2. Masone could have had any number of younger, hotter, smarter women with less neurotic self-loathing and emotional baggage, and yet in defiance of all logic he wifed up Cindy… This should be a permanent boost to her fragile self-esteem, (along with the obscene wealth, celebrity status, $200,000 cars and the Malibu beach mansion) but because it’s the Funkyverse she only seems marginally happier than she was back when she was desperate for a man in her life and toiling away at some shitty TV affiliate back in Cleveland…

      3. Seriously, is there a way Cindy could get cancer next? At least then she’ll have something to really be depressed about and realized just how good she once had it.

      4. Since Batiuk is back on the “Cindy’s eternal low self-esteem” storyline, we can’t be far from the “Cindy gets into a murderous rampage every time Masone kisses a co-star” -silliness…

  2. The Nelson Puppet

    Dreadful, dreadful…

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Both of his strips have been awful this entire week. The wordplay in Crankshaft is terrible.

    • Mela

      What’s dreadful is the conversation immediately went to what Les was like 30 years ago and how aging is so horrible instead of positive things like “It was so great of Mason to fly us out here! This is fabulous! Have you been able to see any tourist sites while you’re out here because I’d love to check a few of them out while we’re here!”

  3. billytheskink

    Yes, Cindy knows so much about the inner workings of Hollywood from her many years as an actress…

    Yeah, that sounds right.

    • Epicus Doomus

      And then there’s that. Cindy was never a “Hollywood” actress, she was a network TV news anchor who was discriminated against due to her hideously age-ravaged face then went on to film herself chatting with (sigh) Cliff Anger. What the hell does SHE know about “Hollywood Darwinism”?

    • hitorque

      It’s the Funkyverse… Evidently Hollywood is very very easy for outsiders to figure out and be successful given how many Westview natives have been able to make a buck with no experience or training whatsoever…

  4. AmigoLupus

    If Batiuk ever gave a damn about the topics of misogyny and workplace harassment that he (badly) tried to explore in that Ruby Lith arc, he could probably tie that by saying how Hollywood’s obsessive scrutiny of how women look is because of misogyny/men trying to control women or something.

    But no, that won’t even occur to Batiuk because he’s a hack who’s only doing such topics in order to win an award.

    • Charles

      I don’t think he’s trying to win awards with Cindy. I think he does this because he can’t conceive of an attractive person thinking about anything else.

  5. Paul Jones

    Batiuk appears to have not quite realized that people keep track of what his characters have said in the past. This means that he thinks that he has to repeat the “Cindy is worried about her fading looks” theme every time she appears.

  6. William Thompson

    Women are trite, vain, smug, shallow, gabby narcissists. It’s funny because Harry Dinkle is staring down on the scene from the SoSF banner. What’s he thinking? “Pikers!” “Amateurs!” “Hold my beer!”?

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    You know, for someone constantly worried about losing her attractiveness, I’ve never seen Cindy on a treadmill. Or treating her skin. Or doing anything journalism-related, so she’ll have professional value for reasons other than her looks.

    Cindy’s just another Westviewite who’s somehow a big media success despite no discernible talent or effort. And who mopes about it every step of the way instead of doing anything constructive.

  8. Gerard Plourde

    It’s amazing that the syndicate continues to pay him for submitting these retreaded storylines.

  9. Batgirl

    Who is “we”? Male actors (generally speaking) can go on getting work as they become more wrinkled and saggy – they can even continue to be action heroes and get paired up with women significantly younger and better-looking (both in film and life, that part).
    If “we” refers to actresses, does TB honestly mean to suggest that women in film are not _constantly_ aware of the need to look young? What the heck does he think that plastic surgery, botox, etc. are for if not the pressure to keep a youthful and sexy appearance? It’s not a disbelief in ageing. It’s a constant battle against the visible signs of it.
    Please, Mr. Batiuk, please stop trying to speak for women. You are constitutionally incapable of passing the Bechdel test. Hell, you can barely write two women talking about something other than Les Moore.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      You just highlighted the Batiuk test: anytime two or more women chat in one of his strips, it must be about Les. And of course no woman can pass the Lisa test…none can compare to her perfection.

      Lisa would be proud.

  10. Professor Fate

    So okay Women are vain and shallow unless they are giving milk and cookies to man children who are reading their precious comic books. Got it.
    And what’s happening with Les and Mason while these two bemoan the passage of time? I’d like to think that Mason is beating Les senseless with a burning log but I doubt that is happening.
    Oh yes, does the leering presence of the Dinkle make anybody else cringe at the prospect of next weeks strips?

  11. Mela

    Cayla, “You’re living in a beach house in southern California with a guy half your age and are complaining about getting older? Tell you what-I’ll trade you one doofus who whined all the way from Ohio on a free ticket.”