And On The Seventh Day, The Joke Rested.

Link to today’s strip, when it drops.

As usual, Sunday’s strip wasn’t available for preview. Which is just as well since I was getting tired of making lemonade out of absolutely nothing.

I will admit. I had a private, personal, chuckle at yesterday’s strip. Not because it was good AT ALL. But because I was a percussionist in high school. And at the time there were waaaay too many percussionists at our school. During marching season we had enough drums and cymbals and pit instruments to go around, but once concert season rolled in there would only be three or four musicians needed for every song. So the rest of the percussion section was left sitting on the floor in the back of the band room chatting quietly, texting on our primitive stupid phones, doing homework for other classes, or flat out taking a nap.

Our director, while very good in almost every other way, just let us decide who got what part, and the few who were passionate about percussion would by mutual agreement take the difficult stuff like timpani or bells every time. It got to the point where the scrubs were drawing straws and playing rock paper scissors to see who didn’t have to get up and count rests for half a song to ring a triangle or smack a wood block. The rest of us would just rather lay around doing algebra homework.

So yeah. If anyone wasn’t going to sprout into a mighty musical oak tree, it was CBH on her tiptoes trying to play one of the four chime notes in the entire 20 minute medley of music from Lord of the Rings, and missing.

Beckoning Chasm takes over on Monday, and I’m looking forward to it! I’m sure his deep thoughts and penetrating insights will entice us to dig ever deeper into this bland yet somehow fascinating universe built from the existential dread of a white bread Ohio septuagenarian scraping for meaning as he nears the end of his career and life.

Stay Funky Everyone!


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “And On The Seventh Day, The Joke Rested.

  1. Rusty Shackleford

    I was a percussionist. Played some Marimba and a bit of timpani. One of our fellow percussionists went on to be principal timpanist for a symphony orchestra.

    I liked music, and so did most of my classmates. So my memory of band differs from Batty’s . With him, all students are lazy idiots. I don’t remember it that way.

  2. Gerard Plourde

    Thanks for getting us through this tedious week, CBH! It’s uncanny how TomBa continues to submit these half baked plot lines .

  3. William Thompson

    The new strip hasn’t dropped yet, but it’s up on CK. I take it that “grub hub” has to do with paying someone to buy your food/drink/hot-chocolate&cookies and deliver it to you. Count on Batiuk to like the idea of a rent-a-mommy.

  4. Gerard Plourde

    The strip just dropped and, wonder of wonders, there are students in it.

    The premise is a unrealistic as ever, since a Grub Hub gig worker wouldn’t be given access to today’s schools, let alone wander around the building to go the the cafeteria and buy a candy bar from the “vendo”.

    Just more evidence that he’s out of touch and doesn’t bother to research anything.

  5. billytheskink

    Looks like TB is selling product placement in the strip now. I know, I know, why would any company want to be associated with this bubonic plague of a comic strip? My theory: It was actually Doordash who paid for this…

    • Epicus Doomus

      He almost had sort of a kernel of a real legitimate gag there, but he blew it with “vendos”. Now it just makes me angry in a listless sort of way. “Vendos” is possibly my least favorite Batiukism. I say dispense with this “third wave” of WHS students and bring back Owen and Cody.

  6. Thank you, CBH! I always endeavor to bring something out of this darkness, and you are definitely a great inspiration to all of us snarkers! Your forays always leave us smarter than before!

  7. Doghouse Reilly

    Panel 1: Good to see Westview High lets just anyone waltz right into the building without any security precautions (where’s a hall monitor with a machine gun when you need him?).
    Panel 2: Hey, that’s not janitor “Broom” Bushka! Is he still cleaning up vomit by the Band Room?
    Panel 3 and 4: How does Delivery Gal know where she’s going?
    Panel 5: Lumpy has to pay a delivery/service fee of at least $4.00 on a $1.50 candy bar, tip notwithstanding?
    Panel 6: “grub hubbed”? Why not “grub clubbed” or “chow plowed” to match the inanity of “vendo”?

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      I’m offended by the assault rifle reference.
      Also, the reference to regurgitation was g.r.o.s.s.

  8. Paul Jones

    The irritating thing that escapes a lot of people is that “Vendo” isn’t something he pulled outta his butt. What he’s actually doing is calling all photocopiers “Xeroxes” by making a brand name a generic term. It’s just as irritating but not the irritant people believe it to be.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      I’m offended by that excessively rude reference to a person’s posterior place.

  9. AmigoLupus

    Yesterday’s strip: Children are like acorns, who will grow into fine hopes for our future
    Today’s strip: lol kids are so lazy

    Fuck you, Batiuk, you pretentious hack.

  10. Banana Jr. 6000

    Is “GrubHub” used as a verb? I’ve never heard it used that way. I don’t Amazon things, I order from Amazon. Ditto eBay and other such services.

    Also, wouldn’t “the school cafeteria got a contract with GrubHub” be funnier?

  11. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Something else Batty and Lynnuck Johnston have in common – other than having a vagina. Neither has ever met an actual Jewish person, so they resorted to stereotypes when they put a Token Jew in their komix.

    FooB had the Oy Gevalting yenta landlady. BatWit has a short, chubby, nerdy, four-eyed dweeb named “Boynie.”

    Unseen last panel: GrubHub Gurl is pissed off because Bernie Silverberg didn’t give her a tip. (See above.)

  12. Oh, TB. Don’t you know that everybody calls those coin operated machines that dispense sodas, food and/or candy vending machines. No one young or old calls those machines ‘vendos.’ Please stop trying to make up new words. Thank you.

  13. Hannibal's Lectern

    I have this vision that many, many years ago, back in the Act I days, somebody at the Vendo Corporation said, “hey, let’s pay this comic strip artist in Ahia a few bucks a year to work our name into his strip. The publicity would do us good.”

    Years go by. Funky Winkerbean moves from gag-a-day high-school hijinx to dark and stormy naught, eventually focusing on a bunch of sad old people who can’t escape their high school baggage. The Vendo Corp. middle manager who first cut the contract with BatHack is long gone, the contract itself buried in some file cabinet, the annual check cut automatically without any thought of what it’s for. Every now and then, somebody comes to work on Monday morning and says, “that comic strip mentioned our name again.” Face-palms around the conference table. “Why does he keep DOING that? What does he have against us? Do you think we can get a restraining order?”

  14. The Westview school board removed the “vendos” from WHS eight years ago to promote heathier food choices. Maybe as soon as Ms. Bushka retired from teaching, they brought them back.

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      “No vendos. Get your snackos from the caffo. And shouldn’t you boyos be in classo?”

      “Yuh. We’re cutting Mr Moore’s class.”

      “Oh. You better hurry before Dildo knows you’re gone.”