Don’t wanna work, (just want to bang on the drum all day.)

Link to today’s strip

And here we finally have the point. Delivered with all the beauty and grace of a newborn giraffe with inner ear problems trying to stand. He’s trying to pander to his band teacher ‘fans’, with Hallmark card greetings, but the message is first muddled, and then outright destroyed.

1.) Squirrels bury nuts to eat them later. Some squirrels even bite off the tiny seed leaves if they find sprouted acorns in order to preserve their food supply for longer. So I guess teachers plant ‘seeds’ in their students hoping to profit off of them later, and it is only an accident if some of those students grow from the experience.

2.) Becky’s percussion section this year is so stupid they will never amount to anything. She expects nothing from them, and so nothing will grow from them later. After saying teachers renew the world by growing the mighty forest of young minds, we are shown teachers joking about dum-dum kids they’ve deemed beyond their help.

3.) Becky blames the sun for stupid drummers.

4.) Batiuk thanks Scott Lang, Ant Man, for this entire nightmare.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

27 responses to “Don’t wanna work, (just want to bang on the drum all day.)

  1. billytheskink

    “Bad year, huh?”

    Oh, you have no idea, Harry. NOOOOOOOO idea.

  2. William Thompson

    “So tell them to bang the drum slowly.”
    “But–that’s baseball! There’s no drumming in baseball!”

  3. Epicus Doomus

    “So you see, Becky, the humble squirrel only finds around 75% of the acorns he stashes and you’re only 75% of a band director. Boom, roasted”.

    “Planting the seed of marching band music” + “boy our band sure does suck this year” + Becky’s annoying tales of woe = the big payoff after five straight days of squirrel talk. As I said earlier this week, BatYap’s reliance on looking out the window for story ideas is leading FW down some weird and boring paths.

  4. Doghouse Reilly

    Yeah, sure, but WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JANITOR!?

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Do band teachers get a paper newspaper and cut FW out with scissors so they can post them on the school bulletin boards, or do they print them out from the internets, or what? You need to put them up with sloppy scotch tape.

    Because this tripe is going up in tens of band rooms across the universe.

    • Count of Tower Grove

      Todd hopes they buy prints from Comics Kingdom.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Maybe. We had a drawing of Dinkle painted on our band director’s door. Looking back, I’m surprised Batty didn’t sue my school.

      He may love kissing band director a$s, but loves lawsuits even more. He also loves to complain about said lawsuits.

    • William Thompson

      Does that include alternate universes?

  6. Paul Jones

    She has to blame sunspots because she sure won’t blame herself.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    A flawed metaphor combined with a classic example of TomBa’s snark. And to top it off, it’s a sideways strip.

    Finally, what does any of this have to do with the story of the second Ant Man?

  8. AmigoLupus

    Jesus fucking christ, this metaphor is so bad.

    Squirrels store acorns by choice, and the acorns that get scattered and eventually grow into oak trees are *just a by-product of that*. Music teachers teach *by choice* because it’s their job and/or they want to pass on their love of music to others. You can’t even say it’s like comparing apples to oranges because there’s absolutely nothing to compare.

    Batiuk’s trying to sound profound by trying to say that both teachers and squirrels plant seeds that will grow in the future, but it just doesn’t fucking work. And let’s not forget that Batiuk’s hatred of children and refusal to feature any as main characters makes this sentiment ring hollow.

    What a fucking joke.

    …Unless this is a fake-out and Batiuk wants us to focus on the “the two won’t live to see the fruits of their labor” part, so maybe Dinkle’s about to get Bull’d pretty soon.

  9. Count of Tower Grove

    Here’s the point of this week: music teachers read and love Harry Dinkle’s wisdom! Todd know this! And so, Todd knows that music teachers will want to keep reminders of their legacies as educators, thus they will buy print’s of this weeks strips suitable for framing, or to tape on the walls of their band rooms. And Todd will reap the royalties!

  10. Professor Fate

    Gee i actually remember our High School Music/Band director (My sister was very talented musically) he was a gentle sometimes absent minded man who was able to share his love of music with the students, some of whom if memory serves went on to perform music professionally. Dinkle he was not. And really seeing how long Dinkle was in charge surely one of his students might show a bit of talent yes? But since he, like Becky and of course the lovely Les view their students with utter contempt that was’t going to happen.
    Really if the author wants to go out with a bang perhaps he can just up and steal the plot of the Browning Version where a bitter teacher of the classics faces retirement and realizes that he has utterly failed his students as a teacher . Of course this would mean Les not being perfect so that won’t happen (besides the Author’s attitude is that the Students are failing Les)
    and as others have noted as a metaphor this stinks.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      I do too and as I recall, I don’t remember my fellow students or I complaining. Band was an elective, if you don’t want to play, then don’t.

      Several students, including a percussionist went into music education and performance. (I was offered a music scholarship but passed…glad I did.)

      Marching Band attracted a lot of people for the social aspect, but symphonic band had only interested students so not sure why Becky is complaining so much.

      It is true that today Marching Band is little more than a vanity project for hyper competitive band moms. We played in the local Christmas Parade and went to Cedar Point in the summer. Now it’s big travel to big cities, trips to Disney. The top of the food chain band moms take their precious snowflakes to perform in London! Ah well, gotta fill up that mom book feed with envious photos.

      It’s still better than this crappy strip.

      • Professor Fate

        Hmm – well that would explain the $150K being paid to the Band Director in what’s his faces school district – didn’t know it had gotten so weird. The football coach getting $200K is a disgrace as well I could understand that. He’s paid to win football games. And that’s more important than education for a lot of people.
        I’m not enjoying this reality’s time line i must say.

        • Rusty Shackleford

          I’m waiting for the spaceship to land in my backyard and take me home. Beam me up Scotty, there is no intelligent life down here.

          And by the way, not against anyone getting paid well, just tired of the teachers constantly whining.

  11. LTPFTR

    I come for the Funkyverse snark, but it’s the squirrel food storage management facts that keep me here.

  12. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    Walls of text, oh, ha ha ha! Walls of text, oh, hohoho! I say sumfin you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, turn ‘er sideways, here we go!

    Walls of text, now here we go! Hop an’ skip an’ heel an’ toe! Walls of text, gotta lot to say. Ohio Ohio all the day! Yoke yoke, natter natter pop! Walls of text til the day we drop!

    Walls of text, oh, ha ha ha! Walls of text, oh, hohoho! I say sumfin you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, turn ‘er sideways, here we go!

    Walls of text, oh, hi hi hi! Cram it in, oh my my my! Band and komix and furry squirrels! Doze nuts, Deeze nuts, one armed gurls! Dinkle Dinkle, band’s true star, smirkin’, quirkin’, har har har!!

    Walls of text, oh, ha ha ha! Walls of text, oh, hohoho! I say sumfin you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, turn ‘er sideways, here we go!

    Wall of text, oh read read read! It’s called “writing,” yes indeed! Fim and Fip, and Wally Wally WOOOOOO! Kindly old Dinkle, hootie hootie hoooo! It’s alright, my one armed Young Lad! You’re a squirrel, and that ain’t bad!

    Walls of text, oh, ha ha ha! Walls of text, oh, hohoho! I say sumfin you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, I say sumfin, you say sumfin, turn ‘er sideways, here we go!

    OHIO!!! YOKE!!!!!!!

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    In case anyone wonders who Scott Lang is. We know Batty met him at the recent OMEA convention.

  14. I can just imagine Batiuk running that tiny baseball diamond after coughing this up.

  15. Banana Jr. 6000

    Oh, f*ck you even harder, Dinkle. And f*ck you too, Becky, for taking any inspiration from this jackass.

    Tell me something, Mr. World’s Greatest Band Director: how many of your former students have you ever seen pick up a trumpet? Or analyze a sonata? Or talk about Claude Barlow? Or do anything at all that suggests you made any impact on their lives?

    That’s the dirty little secret of the entire school band industrial complex. The second these poor children no longer have to take orders from some obsessive, abusive jerk like Dinkle, they never pick up the instrument again. I certainly didn’t. 99% of the band kids I knew didn’t either.

    Dinkle is the worst kind of teacher: the kind that thinks their subject is the only one that exists. He never inspired anyone, because he never tried to. Everything he did was about his own ego. In fact, that was the entire point of his character: how many times has the punchline been some obnoxious demand, like “pre-summer band conditioning camp starts on July 14!” and “you only have to sell 600 copies of my biography each”?

    And the worst thing of all: THESE PEOPLE LIVE IN WESTVIEW. The Town Where High School Follows You. Where the team always loses, no one is ever happy, no one ever shows any personal improvement. And you have the NERVE to congratulate yourself for all the people you’ve inspired. Get bent, Dinkle. You spent your life serving no one but yourself.