Nothing Happened, Les

today’s strip

Okay, we spent three weeks on this storyline and Les still doesn’t know what happened? And he’s supposed to be the “smart guy” in this strip.
I’m really looking forward to seeing how this strip doesn’t culminate in “Jupiter Moon is a bimbo who shouldn’t be in serious movies”. Knowing Batiuk it wouldn’t surprise me if that ends up being word-for-word something Les says.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

31 responses to “Nothing Happened, Les

  1. billytheskink

    If you look closely, you can see the Lilliputian mountaineers scaling Cassidy’s north face.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Les’ stupid “babe in the Hollywood woods” routine might play better if it really was his first time in Hollywood. But it isn’t and it doesn’t.

    I can’t wait for the eight week arc where Jupiter Moon wins over Les with her Lisa-ness. I called this when Mason first suggested Marianne. Les will be on the set, Marianne will come out in her Lisa get-up and Les will get all pissy-eyed and say “L-L-Lisa???” and everyone will vomit. Bank on it.

    • Hitorque

      Ironically, that’s what I predicted for the first movie, especially since Les was having that dumbassed daydream about some 1940s script writer being seduced by a sexpot actress… I just knew if he saw that buxom hottie in full Lisa costume the strip was going to turn “James Stewart in Vertigo” kinds of creepy…

      But mercifully Les invoked his famous “kill fee” before it got to that point…

  3. louder

    So, if I understand this correctly, an actor who is in his forties, at least, is going to play Less in his teens and twenties. Lisa will be played by someone in their late twenties, again, tracing Lisa’s life from high school to death. And now a studio is going to back this to the tune of a couple of million dollars. And they will all make money off it. I think Oscar took a dump and this what came out.

    • Hitorque

      I was under the impression that Masone was mid-late 30s and Marianne like 20-22?? Either way, they can play the age range fine…

      And you don’t necessarily have to show the high school years… But if you did they could be explained by character exposition or just brief flashbacks with teen actors.

      • louder

        The ages on the characters in this strip are a mess. Could be that Masone is mid-late 30s, but isn’t Cindy is her fifties? after all, she was married to Funky? I was always under the impression that BatHack have Cindy & Masone as contemporaries in age. Then again, asking for logic and constancy from this “comic” in a lost cause.

        • Batgirl

          Cindy is canonically the same age as Funky and Les. Mason is younger, and I vaguely recall there was a ‘gag’ about him not getting some reference Les made because of that. The age disparity between Mason and Cindy is a continual source of angst to her.
          Granted, Mason does seem to be morphing into an aging drag queen. And Cindy must be styling his hair, since he’s adopted the unicorn curl ‘do that was her trademark in highschool.
          That hair thing bothers me. It started out as something like the wayward curl that comic book heroes had over their manly foreheads, the rest of their hair remaining smooth at all times. But it currently seems to be attempting to escape from his head entirely – maybe I should sympathize rather than be annoyed by it.

  4. Doghouse Reilly (Philadelphia)

    Missing Panel Two Word Balloons: “OMG, Tiffanee! Look over at that table! Isn’t that Les Moore, the witty and sensitive high school teacher/author who wrote the emotion-packed “Lisa’s Story” trilogy?” “You’re right, Jazmeen! I recognize him from last year’s SDCC coverage! Why he didn’t win an award I’ll never understand! But who’s the old guy sitting with him?”

  5. William Thompson

    What happened here? Casa Daycare decided this was neither the time nor place for adult behavior. You got out-childished, Les.

  6. William Thompson

    One touch–the two young therapists in the second panel–saves this story from disaster. “Look! There she is!” one seems to say. And the other answers “Let’s get her back to the ward before she hurts herself!”

  7. Gerard Plourde

    I see two possibilities- either TomBa will make Mason a rapacious Hollywood villain or he plans to turn him into a Chester Hagglemore type misunderstood white knight rescuing from oblivion the overlooked masterpiece that Lisa’s Story is in his mind to enjoy unrivaled acclaim with critics and sweeping the awards in Nice, at Sundance, and in Hollywood.

  8. I hope the Sunday strip features those two starstruck fans.

    “Squeee! It’s Mason Jarre! Oh, Mr. Jarre, we are huge fans! We love Starbuck Jones! What’s your next role?”

    Response 1: “I play a man whose wife dies of cancer.”
    “Ooh, that makes us sad.”

    Response 2: (points at Les) “I play this man.”
    “Ooh, that makes us sad and ill. We don’t like you anymore, and never will again.”

  9. Hitorque

    Batiuk must be reading this because finally Masone has been recognized… A shame he doesn’t know how to dress himself…

    And where is Cindye in all this, anyway? She totally strikes me as the type who would look at her husband during breakfast and say “You aren’t going out dressed like THAT, are you? You’re MASONE JARRE! Do you have any idea how it reflects on ME when you go to business lunches in this common bargain bin bullshit? If I was a maitre’d I wouldn’t even allow you in the restaurant! Why did I fill your closet with the entire seasonal lines from Burberry and Gucci if you never wear it!?”

    • justifiable

      Judging by the imbecilic expression on his face, I don’t think he knows how to feed himself – so maybe all of Cindye’s rant sounds like “blah blah blah blah.”

  10. Hitorque

    Um… Yeah…

    The whole “This is either going to be the worst thing or the greatest thing in cinema! Let’s do it!” Is not the kind of phrase anyone says for a mainstream tragi-romance chick flick involving an unremarkable Ohio housewife married to an even less interesting limp dick husband in a white bread small town… That’s the kind of phrase you say when, I dunno, John Waters or Lars Von Trier deliver their pitches…

    And regardless, casting Marianne Winters isn’t crazy, it isn’t experimental, it isn’t revolutionary and it isn’t inspired… It’s flat out lazy unless they truly have on-screen magic like Taylor+Burton or Newman+Woodward….

  11. Paul Jones

    He’s really going to be confused because Mason is going to a a supporting character. Reason: the last thing on his warped, narrow, tiny and empty mind is actually telling Lisa’s story. It is, after all, all about him and his baffled despair, not her struggle and defeat. One might as well ask him “How did your daughter handle growing up without a mother?” because that’s not really germane….as was indicated by pole-vaulting over the ‘boring’ and ‘uninteresting’ story of Summer’s childhood.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Is he, though? In Thursday’s strip, Cassidy asks Mason “who do you see playing Les and Lisa?” And Mason’s reply addresses the casting of Les first. Lisa is literally second billing in her own life story.

  12. Paul Jones

    Also, his terrible book is going to be made into a chick flick so he’s gonna wanna stop it from becoming the weepy it was meat to be.

  13. Count of Tower Grove

    “What just happened here?” Apparently Less doesn’t pay attention to consecutive sideways strips.

  14. sgtsaunders

    Those two gawkers in the last panel: “Hey! That’s Les Moore, that loser from the comic strip!”.

  15. Rusty Shackleford

    Marianne will be climbing that Hollywoo sign when she hears the news, we can’t blame her.

    Plus it gives Batty the chance to inject more misery into this strip.

  16. Rusty Shackleford

    That awkward, incomplete phrasing in panel 1 caused a brain freeze.

    This is just the dumbest I ever read.

  17. Perfect Tommy

    Can somebody tell me why Les is so against Marianne Winters being cast?
    I know she had issues.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Your question may contain the answer. Only Les is allowed to have issues when he’s onstage.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Les doesn’t want the movie made at all. He’s said so many times, both through thought bubbles and conversations with other characters. He will object to any random thing, offer no alternatives, and leave everyone else scratching their heads at how to please him. It’s a common tactic of abusive narcissists.

    • Charles

      My gut feeling is that Les believes she isn’t right to play Lisa because she’s not enough like Lisa, but there’s nothing in the strip that suggests that other than knowing what an ass Les is. If there were a real answer, Batiuk would supply it. But the problem is is that if Les takes a position, any position, he has to defend it, which might not make him the pure, noble protector of his perfect book that Batiuk wants him to be. So Les will object but he’ll never actually indicate any reason for objecting beyond the vague sense that it violates the sanctity of his book. If he provides a reason, he’d have to defend that reason, even if Mason capitulates instantly, because then that reason becomes part of the story.

  18. Doghouse Reilly (Minneapolis)

    Look! It’s Mason Jugge! Co-star of My Friend Pookie and it’s even better sequel My Friend Pookie Goes West! Do you think Pookie is here?

  19. “But Mason and Marianne will make people think it’s a *choke* comic book movie, and the word of mouth–when they khow it isn’t– will kill it.”

    “Perfect!” thinks Les.