I haven’t even looked at today’s strip, dear snarkers. I’m sitting outside by the firepit with my family. Catch up with ya later!
Later…
Balancing humor with sensitivity to tell stories we need to hear…Some of the stories can be told over a cup of coffee, while others require a full-on Roman feast.
Amazon blurb for The Complete Funky Winkerbean, Volume 9, 1996-1998
Shit. We’re back in “Hollywoodland.” Why is Mason so hellbent on casting Marianne Winters as Lisa Moore? For that matter, why is making this movie so important to him? What’s behind his strategy to get Les on board with casting Marianne by inviting other actresses to read for her role? It’s not enough for Tom Batiuk to reprise and rehash the whole Les Goes to Hollywood thing, but this time Les is even pissier and all Mason does is fly him back and forth to the coast, take him to lunch at the Chateau Marmot, and kowtow to his every whine. Stop lathering Les’ ass for God’s sake, Jarre!
Son of Stuck Funky 
I looked. And was instantly enraged.
Oh, goody, another week of that bruised lily Les and his agonies over the great casting debacle. If only he could find the perfect woman to play the perfect woman before the movie production collapses!
Optimism just isn’t your style, Les. You need something that goes with the blue in your hair and your soul. How about putting a delightful blue blush on your lips with cyanide?
Oh, holy God! Not only are we back to “Lisa’s Story: The Movie,” we’re back to the same damn plot point the arc has been stuck on almost since day one!
On the plus side, though, it appears that Mason and Les have stolen the Mach 5 and will soon face the wrath of Chim Chim’s uncle Zanizbar, the Talking Murder Chimp.
Or like-ability, or personality, or humanity, or common decency either. I have to believe he’s setting the stage here for the big “she looks JUST LIKE LISA” reveal that should be happening sometime within the next few years, ideally.
If this story arc is ultimately a list of things Les doesn’t do well then it will be the longest story arc in the history of the strip.
There have got to be about 1,000 hours of VHS footage that Lisa made of herself. No need to cast anyone; they could just deepfake Lisa.
Gotta admit I do like the Dynamic Duo’s comb-overs, hair horns, and exposed scalps wafting in the gentle Pacific breezes in panel two.
However: “not completely sold on Marianne…,” followed by “Marianne brought a lot of energy…”? Why didn’t TB go for the hammer-it-home triple crown and have Masonne say “give Marianne a chance” in the second panel? After all, we mere readers might have forgotten who he was referring to.
He also doesn’t do “understanding how things work” well either. He doesn’t realize that no one expects Movie Lisa to look like Real Lisa nor does he understand that Mason needed to see those tapes so she could at least act like Real Lisa.
Right…there would be no need to cast someone that looks like Lisa as she isn’t well known enough. Although, it is also unlikely that superstars would want to be a part of this. At best Lisa’s Story is a Hallmark Channel mini series.
How the hell long was that pause in the conversation between panel one and panel two? It seems like it was long enough for Masoone to put on spectacles that weren’t needed a sentence ago. Or maybe since he’s getting closer to the studio gate he has to look like his photo ID?
He needs glasses for when he needs to see things clearly.
This constant back-and forth over the casting of Marianne Winters as Dead Saint Lisa . . . the endless negotiations with the only true expert on the character . . . the mounting tension as an obvious critical moment draws near . . man, this just captures the excitement and magic of Hollywood, doesn’t it? Anybody else as excited as me over this film? If you are, then why aren’t you snoring?
We’re still on this? I thought this was settled two Fridays ago, with even the unpleasable Les admitting that Marianne’s read was good. How can they make a movie when nobody can make a decision?
“Hollywoodland Studios” Miramax should go after Todd for stealing “Hollywoodland.”
They’d have to:
A) Accidentally stumble across it — unlikely, because who actually reads Funky Winkerbean?
B) Believe that it would damage their brand — unlikely, because who actually reads Funky Winkerbean?
C) Spend actual time thinking about Funky Winkerbean, and interacting with the people involved in its production. Unlikely, because …. uh, well, look, have you actually *read* Funky Winkerbean?
“Doesn’t do optimism well” should be the mission statement of this strip. It should be the description Comics Kingdom uses, instead of the current “thoughtfully and thought-provokingly deals with real-life issues” garbage. Honestly, you could just use “Doesn’t do _______________ well” and it would be perfect.
Nooooo!!! By all that is holy please make it stop!!!!
How many panels have ended with Les saying “I DON’T DO ____ WELL!” as the punchline??
A Roman feast? Isn’t that the kind you throw up afterwards?