It’s OK It’s Not Loaded I’m A Good Driver Don’t Worry Wally

Link To Today’s Installment

What could go wrong…INDEED! Boy, this Pulitzer Nominee Guy just can’t tell a linear story no matter what. We already know something is definitely going to go wrong, but now instead of actually seeing it happen we’ll get day after day of moronic pizza banter and Crankshaft references. Then the Saturday cliffhanger, then repeat…and repeat…and repeat. Why can’t the goddamned thing go wrong on Monday, just once? Sigh. Does anyone know what day of the week Lisa actually died? Had to be a Friday, right? Or did he drag that out through the Sunday strip too?

55 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

55 responses to “It’s OK It’s Not Loaded I’m A Good Driver Don’t Worry Wally

  1. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    WIkipedia has it as October 4, 2007, which was a Thursday.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Well, Act II was definitely more energetic, so there’s that. This is one of his most annoying traits. The reader already knows what’s going to happen, but now we have to wait days on end to actually see it, which will take another week to play out, then The Gang will react to the thing that happened, then they’ll discuss what to do about it, then they’ll discuss it more, then something else will happen. It’s like five or six weeks to tell four or five days of story. I wouldn’t be shocked if this arc takes us right through to Thanksgiving.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        We haven’t had the telltale spoiling yet. Batiuk doesn’t do prestige arcs without announcing them in advance, no doubt to make sure all the awards committees know about it. It hasn’t even been mentioned on the Funkyblog. Though based on the pacing of this week (Linda’s opening of the letter from the NFL is a good comparison) I’m sure he’s going big with this one.

    • billytheskink

      Beat me to it. The next day, Friday the 5th, featured Act III Les on the couch of his silent, unseen therapist. Then on Saturday, Act III Les flashed back to Lisa’s funeral and at the end of Act II. Les spent another couple weeks flashing back from the couch before Act III officially began. On a Sunday, of course.

      • Epicus Doomus

        Oh God, THAT one I remember. The “fine young woman” time skip. If you were fortunate enough to have missed that era of FW you have no idea how unbelievably maudlin it was. Shudder.

        • comicbookharriet

          Which couch time skip arc was more insufferable. Early Act III Les’ or Jff’s in Crankshaft when his momster died?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Lisa died on a Thursday, and and the Lisa’s death arc has been running through Sunday ever since.

  2. SeaCountry

    Chekhov’s Phone is ringing in the background. (I’m sure it’s not an order; that would be just too weird in this strip.)

    • Yeah, Chekhov’s kitchen wall phone from 1972.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Right because in any modern pizza shop people wear headsets so they can work and take call in orders. I say call in because a modern shop will also take internet orders.

        • billytheskink

          Back in Act II Durwood set up Montoni’s to receive online orders, much to Tony’s skepticism. Mid-2000’s, I think… It was back when a CRT monitor was not yet laughably antiquated.

          In early Act III, Durwood then created the Montoni’s app… again much to Tony’s skepticism.

          Thanks to the magic of flashback, we can get a glimpse of both…

      • SeaCountry

        Everything else in Montoni’s is horribly dated; why not the phone?

  3. Awesome 9353 reference, but man, you have to include the video–

    I remember watching this on Count Gore DeVol’s show in DC. When the movie ran short, he’d frequently run this clip.

  4. billytheskink

    Wally, the correct person to direct this question to is Funky, not Adeela. But there are no customers (shocker!) so Wally’s shirking shouldn’t really matter.

    Lisa’s death occurred on October 4, 2007, which was a Thursday believe it or not.

    • Jimmy

      Funky is still a terrible businessman, I see. Three employees for zero customers. Not even Crazy Harry eats at Montoni’s anymore.

  5. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    Adeela is going to look after the restaurant? How perfectly mundane. And yet, “what could go wrong?”

  6. William Thompson

    I hope that call is being placed from the Twilight Zone by Martin Landau.

  7. Epicus Doomus

    “Well, like my old high school bus driver Ed Crankshaft used to always say, an unsupervised pizzeria is like a free vendo.”

    “This Crankshaft you speak of, his words ring with the truth of a prophet’s wisdom, Wally! Allahu Akbar!”

    “Oh Adeela, except for your differing religious beliefs you fit in here at Montoni’s just fine! I sure hope nothing bad is about to happen!”

  8. J.J. O'Malley

    Does any of the last two weeks make any sense chronologically? I assumed that the 9/14 thru 9/25 strips were all in the same laugh-filled afternoon/evening, as Rachel left class, couldn’t find Wally, he and Adeela came back from the BMV, everyone lovingly joked about Crankshaft.

    Saturday’s ICE shocker was possibly that day or the next, and Sunday was a subsequent rainy afternoon. Is this supposed to be the night of last week’s “day,” or some time later when the two managers are in the restaurant at the same time, and Wally couldn’t have told Adeela in advance he wanted to leave early?

    Whenever it is, I see we’re back to no customers (Someone on CK suggested that the visible patrons in yesterday’s background was an unfinished wall mural. Any thoughts?).

    What are the chances that phone call is an order that Adeela will eagerly volunteer to make his first delivery run, only to be stopped by the police/ICE, and the only non-painting, non-Crazy customer Montoni’s has had in over two weeks won’t get their order?

    • Epicus Doomus

      This is a good point. I likewise assumed this was all taking place on the same day but apparently that’s impossible…or is it?

      I would rate the chances as “astronomically high”.

    • SeaCountry

      I figured most of the action, such as it was, was one afternoon, then Adeela went shopping and caught the attention of ICE a couple days or so later.

  9. Gerard Plourde

    So will it take Corey as long to answer the phone as takes characters in this strip to open letters?

    • Epicus Doomus

      Monday: single panel, phone ringing
      Tuesday: annoyed Cory looks at phone
      Wednesday: single panel, hand reaching for phone on wall
      Thursday: phone being lifted from cradle
      Friday: “Hello?”
      Saturday: Cory slack-jawed upon realizing an order came in

  10. Using the Batiuk one year ahead rule: “September 26, 2019 – ICE Arrests 49 Individuals in North Texas and Oklahoma. ICE arrested 49 individuals in North Texas and Oklahoma during a five-day enforcement action that ended on September 25, 2019.”

    • comicbookharriet

      I can’t wait for the giant fertilizer warehouse explosion next year. A senseless tragedy borne of incompetence, indifference, and bad luck? Batiuk gold!

  11. Boots Gandalf

    The phone call is from Mrs. Phyllis McCann, who’s been waiting for her pizza since March 5th, 1988.

  12. spacemanspiff85

    Is Adeela Assistant Assistant Manager now? (Wally is Assistant Manager, right? Does anyone, including Batiuk, remember?) Why is Wally saying this to her and not Cory, who seems to be doing the actual work, or Funky?
    Also, I’m wondering where in the world Wally is going. Their date night was at Montoni’s, so they apparently did more than just reschedule it. Knowing Batiuk the date night is going to be either Rachel cooking for Wally at home and apologizing for worrying about where he was, or Wally microwaving hot dogs and complaining when Rachel wants a vegetable.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Yet another massive plot hole. Actually two of them. As J.J. O’Malley pointed out above, the timeline here is all botched up. I assumed this was all in the same day, but now I have no idea what’s going on.

      And yeah, why is Wally asking Adeela for permission to leave the empty pizzeria? After he got his degree in Pizza Studies I though he was officially second in command. He ought to be TELLING Adeela he’s leaving early, not asking. Sure, maybe it’s nitpicky but WTF.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        I can’t even follow the logic here. Wally scheduled a date at work with Rachel, but forgot about it. So they rescheduled it, even though they were both in the right place at the right time. And now Wally is asking permission to leave the place he was supposed to be, presumably so he can go home to Rachel and they can not go on the date together.

        Wally’s line should just be “Adeela, do you mind if I leave Montoni’s now, so the plot can move forward? We’re not good at this writing thing.” But that’s not right either, because the plot doesn’t need him to leave!

        • William Thompson

          I’d say that Batiuk dropped his notes, then mixed them up when he collected them, but that would mean he had some story notes in the first place.

  13. Charles

    Man, since Wally got his ever-important degree, he’s almost been as smug as Les!

    Also, “What could go wrong?” What an odd thing to say if it’s not supposed to be an overly obvious segue into something going wrong. There is no other reason for her to say that.

    • By this point, hasn’t Adeela been working at Montoni’s for over a year? “What could go wrong?” might be appropriate if she was in her second week on the job, but she should be well acquainted with the operation by now.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Or, if she was doing anything where it going wrong would have any consequences. It’d be one thing if Adeela was a little nervous about making her first delivery. But that’s not even happening. She’s just standing around a crappy pizza store that hasn’t had a customer in hours.

  14. Hitorque

    Does Wally do ANY fucking work at this joint? Some “manager” he is… Shows up whenever, takes entire afternoons off for a week and today he takes the afternoon and evening off… And there’s never any accounting of time, personal leave hours logged, and for fuck’s sake he doesn’t even tell Cory/Adeela (who are maybe taking home $6.85 an hour plus tips) that he’d make it up to them, or give them the old You-do-my-shift-and-I’ll-do-yours agreement… His ass just up and leaves and he tells them to cover for him. Where the hell is Dr. Rundfunk Frankfurt? Does he know Wally has actually made his lifeblood business even shittier and with worse customer service?

    I can’t wait to see Funky check the books at the end of the month.

  15. William Thompson

    Want to bet that the phone call i from ICE, announcing that they’re coming over to arrest a dangerous terrorist? Laughs abound when everyone thinks they mean Buddy the Invisible Dog.

  16. Double Sided Scooby Snack

    “Yes, hello! We’d like to order a large pepperoni pie.”

    “Sure! Thanks! You’re our first customer today! Address please?”

    “Yeah, bring it to the Westview ICE office. Oh, and can you have Adeela El-Khamelfokker deliver it?”

    • Double Sided Scooby Snack

      Adillydilly delivers the pizza to Westview ICE headquarters. From the outside, it looks like a residential house.

      As she steps out of the official Moroni’s pizza delivery car, a red dot appears on her SheJab.

      “Take the shot!”

      BLAAM!!

      Two ICE agents rush out of the house, careful not to trip over Adillydilly’s body.

      “Dammit! Pizza is cold again!”

  17. Professor Fate

    One can only hope that it is the Murder Chimp ordering a pizza.
    And wasn’t she supposed to be running the place at night in the first place? Not that it really matters really, but the strip annoys one so that you almost feel compelled to point out continuity problems.

    • Gerard Plourde

      Maybe it can be revealed that Zanzibar The Murder Chimp works undercover for ICE in its program to halt smuggling of exotic and endangered animals.

  18. Dood

    “The call is from inside Montoni’s!”

  19. hitorque

    In other news I saw that “Mark Trail” actually got refreshed with new art and updated to the 21st century?! Will wonders never cease? How many more comics can we give this treatment to?

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Funky Winkerbean and Crankshaft don’t need new art; they need new writing.

    • comicbookharriet

      I think technology wise they were pretending to be the 21st Century. I remember several arcs of the last several years where smart phones were a feature. They were just stuck in a visual time warp, kinda like a lot of legacy strips that want to make jokes at the expense of technology without losing their style.

  20. Perfect Tommy

    If I don’t see federal agents rappelling down Montonis, I’m going to be super pissed.

  21. Well Adeela, a whole lot of things can go wrong.

    But right now I’m just going to relax a bit and drink some coffee that I didn’t buy at the pizza shop.

  22. Merry Pookster

    Hey Adeela, It’s some guy calling for you by the name of Kahn. He said to move up the schedule for “you know what”

  23. Westview Radiology

    Yep. Adeela does have everything covered with her Hijab and all, except she’s wearing Funkys face.