I’ll Make You A Star

Link to today’s strip.

Okay, what is that thing the woman wants wrapped? A big star with tassels? Why would you want to give that as a gift? It’s both awkward and unattractive, and while I don’t want to judge anyone’s taste, I can’t see it going well with anything. A star for the top of the Christmas tree? Wouldn’t you want that before Christmas day?

I guess the thing is huge and unwieldy and thus difficult to wrap, which might be why Tom Batiuk thinks it could be part of a joke. But if someone handed that to me and told me to wrap it, I’d say “Okay, it’s an extra three dollars for the box.” Because that’s what one would do–put it in a box and wrap the box. It’s just that simple.

I guess the customer could insist that it be wrapped as is, and the customer is always right, but let’s get a quarter-inch closer to reality: no one is going to spot this wrapped thing and exclaim, “Oh boy, you got me an XBox!”

17 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

17 responses to “I’ll Make You A Star

  1. Banana Jr. 6000

    Ugh. Is a star really the oddest shape Tom Batiuk could think of to wrap? Like yesterday, it’s a visual gag that is let down by the visuals. And overall lack of imagination.

    • billytheskink

      Good observation. This gag is sorely in need of several things, among them might be:

      – A level comic exaggeration that TB simply won’t bring himself to use (a star the size of a Buick, for example).
      – Characters with histories or personalities that fit the gag (or personalities at all).
      – A comically oversized item that does not appear to be a Christmas decoration itself (as this star does).
      – Some semblance of charm.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Tom Batiuk’s “quarter inch from reality” conceit is so overbearing that he can’t even exaggerate when it’s necessary to make a joke work. And, when exaggeration wouldn’t even violate that principle. There are plenty of common gifts that are hard to wrap because of their shape, and would have worked better in this joke.

        Mind you, this is the same guy whose characters call an ex-President on the phone, insert untrained teens into a football game at the key moment without even any equipment, sell common comic books for huge amounts of money, burn the entire Los Angeles metropolitan area, and treat the memory of an unlikeable dead woman as the most precious thing of all.

  2. Epicus Doomus

    Good Lord look at Keisha’s comma eyes in panel two. Un-freaking-believable. And I realize that every FW artist has always had trouble drawing Summer with any consistency but wow, in panel two it looks like her mouth is trying (and failing) to escape her face. Blech.

  3. William Thompson

    The surprising thing is that no one has asked them to gift-wrap a live puppy.

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    Is it me, or is Summer slowly morphing into Mopey Pete?

    On the other hand, it’s nice to see Marcie from “Peanuts” is still getting comic strip work, even if it’s just a walk-on.

  5. Gerard Plourde

    This is the second day that it appears from the booth coloring that the holiday colors in Westview are red and black.

  6. Chyron HR

    Remember, it’s called drawing.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    Common Christmas gifts that are difficult to wrap because of their shape, and would work better for this joke:

    – bicycles
    – tennis rackets, golf clubs
    – large dolls, action figures
    – unboxed cooking equipment (pots, pans)

  8. erdmann

    Batiuk must be slipping. Instead of an oversized star, he should have gone with a 6-foot-tall plush giraffe. I can’t believe he missed an opportunity to do another vertical strip.

    Unfinished business: Maxine of Arc asked yesterday, “Out of curiosity, do you know what position she plays? She must be a heckuva player to hold her own against what I’m guessing are a lot of taller girls.”

    She’s a point guard.

    • Gerard Plourde

      “She’s a point guard.”

      I should have guessed. That position relies on speed and agility and is often filled by shorter players, i.e. Allen Iverson who gave his height at 6’ may actually have been under 5’10”.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Kent State’s current women’s basketball team only has four players under 5-10, and one of those is 5-8. A check of other Division I WBB rosters shows similar distribution, even for very small D-I athletic programs. So a 5-2 player is pretty uncommon at that level.

  9. hitorque

    And to think these girls are earning the king’s ransom of $8.55 an hour for this!

  10. “Why do you always get the easy presents to wrap?!”
    “Because I took the initiative and greeted the less-needy customer first. My mother was right about you.”

  11. Westview Radiology

    In panel 2 Summer has morphed into a brunette Carol Burnette !!!