Holly really does have some awfully slender ankles, though. Much like with Montoni’s, Holly is kind of geometrically impossible. Ditto Funky’s “eyebrows”, which are very poorly rendered even by FW’s abysmally low standards. I think he should have replaced the word “holidays” with “decades”, but apparently that would have ruined the gag.
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Son of Stuck Funky · The web's premiere source for Funky Winkerbean snark
Son of Stuck Funky 
Bleeeaaaahhhhhhh
That is a big bathroom window.
I will write more elaborate comments when TB writes something resembling either a joke or a story.
He’s not making it easy this week, you know?
I’m beginning to wonder if the Funkyblog is where the action is. On top of the two crazy comic book covers and that blurry, misaimed Christmas photo, today he’s got a picture of all his convention badges:
– Three different badges for 2015 Comic-Con, one of which may have been his wife’s
– One badge with the Ohio Music Educators Association logo
– One badge with a logo the shape of Ohio that appears to say “Buckeye Book Fair”
– A superhero-themed one with the word “Akron” on it
And the caption is “maybe next year, huh?” I don’t know, Tom, it doesn’t look like you got invited to much before COVID either.
“Ruined the gag”? The only gag I see is Funky, who looks like he’s about to hurl all those “warm-up” cookies he devoured on Monday into the toilet.
Seriously, today Battyuk tosses out the kind of two-part pun one expects to find in a Bazooka Joe comic. And we haven’t even gotten to New Year’s yet, so why is Holly talking about “the holidays” as though they’re all in the past? This strip might have been better placed next week, but TB didn’t want to ruin his gut-busting “Boy, the Winkerbeans are obese gluttons, aren’t they!” year-capping arc. Oh, well, at least there’s only one more escapade to get through before 2021 and the imminent release of “Lisa’s Story: The Movie: She Dies at the End.”
Maybe he buys large lots of Bazooka Joe outtakes. It’d certainly explain a lot.
It’s not only Holly’s ankles that are impossible – her right leg looks like a poultry drumstick.
Batiuk couldn’t even try the lame Snap! and Sproing sound effects as springs and rods fly from the crushed scales. Or is he saving that for Funky’s weigh-in at the gym?
Sound effect words? Nah, that would be like the 1960s Batman TV show Batiuk hates so much. Because they’re, you know, fun.
I guess that the number on the scale is the “bottom line” in the sense of “net profit/loss; the final number”. I wasn’t sure at first. It seems too literal to qualify as a good pun. Unless the actual pun is that her tush, her literal bottom, has been “added to”? But the artwork should should show it, in that case.
I also find it mildly unsettling that Funky is in front of the word balloon in the second panel. Unless you’re mining for meta-humor, you shouldn’t treat word balloons as physical objects.
You know, this would be halfway insightful if it were about weight gain from 9 months of social distancing.
True. But the Funkyverse can’t get the coronavirus until next year.
I admit to some mild curiosity as to how TB is (it’s called) writing the next year’s strips, throughout 2020’s awfulness. Is Westview escaping the actual plagues and lockdowns because dammit TB is the only one with the right to inflict disaster there?
Or is he working up a covid-sweep of the characters he doesn’t like? Holly is a cancer survivor, Funky had that unexplained flight and clinic visit, they’re both supposedly overweight.
Heck, maybe he’ll take out Funky and replace him with the ever-sprightlier Mort.
I’m slightly ashamed of myself for wishing that the coronavirus would clean out Bedside Manor, but I know it won’t – he loves that pun too much.
I had a great idea for the perfect Funky Winkerbean pandemic arc.
Lisa gets COVID.
First panel: some unknown people wordlessly go to a funeral, like the golfers who started the L.A. fire. Second panel: one of them sneezes. Third panel: zoom in on Lisa’s headstone at that spot. Contact tracing occurs, and the authorities determine that Lisa’s corpse is infected with COVID. (Though they’ll call it “coronavirus” or something else outdated, because this was written a year ago.).
To control the outbreak, the doctors have to dig up her corpse and treat her for the disease. Les gets the phone call, and a dramatic third panel where he drops the phone on the floor. He gets to– er, I mean “he has to” go to the hospital and worry about Lisa’s health all over again. He says “I can’t lose you again.” He sits next to her casket in the waiting room, talking to her at length, waiting for her to be wheeled into surgery. At all times Lisa is spoken of as if she were a living person, with a disease that . Of course, Les writes a fourth book about the experience.
Imagine all the awards Tom Batiuk could imagine himself winning with that story.
If George Kennedy was Crankshaft, I submit Robert Loggia as Funky Winkerbean. No prosthetic makeup would have been needed.
Speaking of poorly-made stuff, check out the comic book cover Batiuk is featuring on his blog. Wow, is that bad. I’m amazed it got published.
The one with the spacemen flying around on doors? It’s hilarious:
Does Mister Kitty know about this?
I’m going to award points for bizarre creativity, but I’m also going to guess that there’s a reason movie theatres don’t have a new “Star Hunters” movie every summer.
This helps explain his issue with the accepted House of Mystery cover controversy back on December 22. In addition to the fact that the rejected cover had a digested corpse on it, a comparison to the final cover shows how busy and badly composed it was. This one has the same problem. Is your focus supposed to be on the attacking spaceman in the foreground or the defenders? Instead, everything directs your eye to the silver ball.
But the busy, badly composed, rejected cover was the one Batiuk liked better! He said it was “rejected (seriously?)” in favor of the less detailed, more hastily drawn cover. Maybe that’s why he showcased this “Star Doors” cover too. It has the same kind of problems, but apparently that’s what he thinks is good? I’m so confused,
“But the busy, badly composed, rejected cover was the one Batiuk liked better! …It has the same kind of problems, but apparently that’s what he thinks is good? I’m so confused,”
Exactly!
It’s just so bad. The spacemen on flying doors are shooting at nothing, one guy is holding a woman like an mannikin, it’s way too busy and crowded…I’m surprised it ISN’T an Atomik Komix title.
Who decided that putting the word “holocaust” on the cover of a 1970s space adventure comic was a good idea? And how do you “sow” holocaust, anyway?
I’m guessing that huge silver ball with lasers on it destroys an entire planet, and this is the rebels fighting back.
I can’t imagine how a 1978 comic book came up with a crazy story like that.
Or, I dunno, you could stop ramming pizza into your gaping maw every day.
So the fat Winkerbeans ate all of the skinny Winkerbeans. Got it. What’s on next week?
So that’s why they invited Cory and Rocky to stay over.
And why we haven’t seen them in a few days.