It ain’t EZ being EZ, no.

Link To Today’s Strip

Oh those WIVES amirite? Always wanting their faucets not to leak, and their tub seams not to be stained black with mildew. Needing grout that hasn’t been haphazardly sealed with crazy glue, drywall not patched with bondo and tempera paint, linoleum sans the packing tape, light fixtures with actual covers still intact. What a bunch of absolute spendthrift divas.

Or maybe the Winkerbean bathroom and kitchen isn’t in such a state yet. Maybe it’s just my poor parents who have been putting off a kitchen/bathroom remodel since the Clinton administration because it’s easier to fantasize about the dream kitchen they’ll put in, forever perfect in its nebulousness, than it is to bite the bullet and finally rip out the Brady Bunch orange counter tops.

Anyway, this strip is either a tolerable lead in to a new arc of Funky misery, or the start of a very unappealing adult film. The dialogue says the former. But Holly and the Handyman’s bedroom eyes tell a different story. And what kind of real contractor just wanders around with a giant ‘EZ’ plastered on his hat and shirt. I’ve seen sexy nurse Halloween costumes with more believable ‘names’ on the lapel.

It’s been a fun couple weeks. The Dinkle arc was a bit of a slog to end on, but it’s not every shift that I get to talk about Batman. Thanks to everyone for the kind comments! TF Hackett will be taking over the exciting renovation action tomorrow. Please remember to thank him and Epicus for giving us all our cozy, internet safe-space where we can join together in mocking the final death throes of the slow entropic decay of a fictional universe.

Stay warm and Funky everyone! Comic Book Harriet signing off!

12 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

12 responses to “It ain’t EZ being EZ, no.

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Man, LOL, those Lockhorns, always reinforcing those gender stereotypes. Oh, wait, it’s just Funky and Holly on the set of BatYam’s latest FW spinoff strip, “Pizza My Heart”. In this week’s episode, Holly is getting estimates on some home renovations which, of course, leads to non-stop hilarity.

    Maybe he should just drop the rest of it and do this shit full-time. Once we get to the strips he wrote post-pandemic they’re all going to be like this anyway, as at that point he’ll have no outside inspiration at all except for that window and he’s already done just about every leaf, tree and squirrel gag there is to do. I see a lot of arcs about the Amazon driver trying to do a U-turn in his cul-de-sac in our near future.

  2. William Thompson

    Dumb kitchen-obsessed woman? Check. Greedy blue-collar worker? Check. Shocked yet budget-sensible husband? Check. Something for everyone, a cliche tonight!

    And I’m guessing that Batiuk has never done any cooking more complex than dropping a pop-tart in the toaster. It doesn’t take much to realize you want a counter that’s six inches wider, better lighting, more wall-space for utensils, a kitchen faucet that you can operate when your hands have gunk on them, enough room for two people to move around without bumping into one another . . .

  3. none

    oh no
    how will funky ever afford more remodeling than was originally planned for his seven figure mansion
    what ever shall he do
    truly a dilemma to which we can all relate

  4. Cherman Williams

    It’s like that Brady Bunch episode where they repaint the bedroom then everything else looks drab and needs to be repainted, except this is totally more annoying and FLAT (haha)-out STUPID.

  5. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Like turds down the toilet, so are the Days of Funky Winkerbean.

  6. ian'sdrunkenbeard

    Thanks for driving the clown car that is SOSF, Harriet. You frequently make me lol (if anyone was here they might actually hear me snort or chortle). On any day your commentary might be a lecture by the cool psych prof, a TED talk, or a heartwarming family story, and is always fun reading. In my career I cranked out thousands of teaching slides, so I really appreciate your lavish use of AV materials. More than anyone else you send me to Grandpa Google, Urban Dictionary, Wikipedia, IMDB…I’ve learned about Greek philosophers, comic artists, and more because of you.
    A tip o’ the drunkenbeard.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Nooo! I was raised midwestern Lutheran! I can’t take this much unmitigated praise! Ego growing! Guilt Rising. Must. Resist. Urge. To. Self-Deprecate…

      (All this to say, thanks. 🙂 Your comment made my day.)

  7. Ray

    The contractor is WAY too lovingly drawn…this has got to be someone 1/4 inch away from a NEO person.

    As I typed that I decided to see what Grandpa Google had to say. Sure enough… http://www.ezconstructionoh.com

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Funky Winkerbean is basically this:

      I like to imagine Rob Lowe is Tom Batiuk, explaining to Mike Myers/Funky why they always have to wear the Montoni’s aprons even though we haven’t seen them make a pizza since 1993. Dana Carvey is, of course, Les, who gets the most offended but is actually the biggest, cheapest whore of them all.

  8. J.J. O'Malley

    At least the week’s arc is EZ enough to predict:

    Monday: Funky worries about leaving Cory in charge of Montoni’s (Adeela is still suffering from ICE trauma) as he sits in a fancy department store while Holly tries on dresses and maxes out his credit cards.

    Tuesday: Holly wraps the car around a tree in the front yard after swerving to avoid a squirrel.

    Wednesday: Funky complains about Holly’s cooking while Les and his wife-who-isn’t-Lisa come over for dinner.

    Thursday: Holly’s mother drops by for a visit and to criticize Funky..oh, wait, isn’t she already there?

    Friday: Funky comes home early from work to find the EZ Remodel guy hustling down the staircase, shirt and belt askew. “Uhh, sure thing, Mrs. Winklestein! I’ll get on that bedroom estimate right away!,” as a smirking, housecoat-clad Holly looks down from the second floor.

    Saturday: Funky winds up at a local tavern to fall off the wagon.

    Sunday: A vertical one-panel Atomix Comics cover.

    Ka-ching!

  9. It’s funnier when Mike and Jay do it. And I’ll bet Funky’s VCR needs repair, too.