Sometimes Telling Is Preferable To Showing

Link To Today’s Strip

A: Eating pizza or having sex.

Q: What are the two things I’d least like to see the Dinkles doing?

Yuck. There’s some precedent here, as I seem to recall Dinkle making a lot of disgusting sexual innuendos during the infamous “Harry and Harriet go on their belated honeymoon” arc of whenever that was, maybe 2012 or thereabouts. It was their fiftieth anniversary and Dinkle blew off his own honeymoon for some imbecilic band thing, so they finally went to Niagara Falls and (zzzzzzzzz). I made it sound WAY more exciting than it was.

Coming next month: Wally’s new Dinkle-inspired marketing idea…sex pizza…doesn’t take off quite as well as breakfast pizza did back in the day. Wally finds himself embroiled in multiple lawsuits after Montoni’s customers badly burn themselves, but fortunately for Wally, Funky knows a guy.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

25 responses to “Sometimes Telling Is Preferable To Showing

  1. William Thompson

    No. Just no. Don’t think of gynecological conditions that look like pizza. Just. Don’t.

  2. J.J. O'Malley

    I really, really could have done without seeing or reading any of this…and on a Sunday, no less.

  3. Charles

    I know that whenever I tell an absolutely killer joke, I make sure to ask the recipient if they got it, and no matter the response, explain the joke just in case!

  4. Rusty Shackleford

    Oh G-d no!

  5. Banana Jr. 6000

    Well, now we know why Dinkle is applying for so many jobs.

  6. Epicus Doomus

    Old coots behaving like youngsters…another thing BatYam believes is inherently hilarious. Pizza eating, racing, spontaneous intercourse…not impossible at their age by any means but not particularly likely either. Given Harriet’s impossibly sedentary (does she actually “do” anything?) lifestyle any one of those three things could very well kill her. Not that she’d really mind, all things considered.

  7. Gerard Plourde

    So I assume from what just transpired in the strip that Harriet has no say in the matter. That shouldn’t surprise me coming from a writer who sees the women in his strips as providers of milk and cookies and enablers of their spouses’ uninterrupted comic book reading.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Again, the Funkyverse is an incel’s dream world. It implies that men are entitled to sex as a reward for performing ordinary life tasks. Even though his wife didn’t really want him to take the job. I wish people would complain about this, but he’s done much worse in Crankshaft, and only got kicked out of the Oshkosh Northwestern for a day.

  8. spacemanspiff85

    Given the way Harriet is drawn I can’t be the only one who reads her voice as sounding just like Jabba the Hutt.

  9. William Thompson

    On the first Palm Sunday, Jesus rode an ass into town. On this Sunday, an ass tried to palm this off as a story.

  10. Organ Grinder

    My God!! Can we PLEASE move on from every iteration of organs???

    • Charles

      It’ll be fine, sir. We only have five more weeks of Dinkle playing the organ for the church choir before we move on to something else!

      • Epicus Doomus

        Coming in May: Westview’s second most popular Kiss cover band (Forever – A Tribute To 1980s Kiss) is looking for a new drummer and it just so happens that the town’s most noted musician is looking for a new gig after the St. Spires church choir dies of pneumonia. Hilarity (and no small amount of sarcasm) ensues.

  11. Mr. A

    Is this our punishment for making all those “organ” double entendres?

  12. Hitorque

    1. Sex pizza? Let’s not dismiss the idea so quickly… There might be potential here?

    2. Has any grown ass man in the history of fact or fantasy ever said “race you to the bedroom” when they’re about to pound some totty?

    3. At least somebody in the Funkyverse has honest to God, non-procreative sex once in awhile… Give it to her in all three holes, Dink!!

    • Hitorque

      4. But if we’re honest with ourselves, we know that the Big Dink adding yet another chapter to his multi-volume musical resume is what’s making him rockhard right now… Hell, if he didn’t have his wife handy he’d probably get his rocks off with a musical instrument somehow

  13. Perfect Tommy

    Enjoy it while you can Harry. St. Expires is starting a castrati choir.

  14. Professor Fate

    Ah… to quote Edmund Blackadder “No! NO!”
    So getting a job as a Church Organist was a sexual lubricant for him? Really? REALLY?
    One has to add that the grotesque artwork in the last panel matches the tone of the story.

  15. So, is this really an accomplishment worth a great deal of celebration? From what we’ve been shown, there were no other job applicants. Dinkle showed up at the church, the choir asked him if he knows anything about music, Dinkle bit his tongue and answered yes, and was apparently hired on the spot. Luckily for Dinkle, St Spires appears to be the ecclesiastical equivalent of Montoni’s – we’ll never actually see a congregation, we’ll just see Dinkle playing organ for these 5 choir members.

  16. sgtsaunders

    This is exactly the sort of thing TMI was invented for.

  17. Westview Radiology

    Is that a bulge in your pants Hairy?
    Nah ! That’s just my Flugelhorn !