On the one hand, we have another nonsensical Dinkle strip.
On the other hand, we have a Dinkle plan failing.
So it’s a glass of poison half full kind of day.
I was kind of surprised we didn’t get an unconnected Sunday strip celebrating Mother’s Day. It would be nice to get a peek in on any of the parental storylines that have been dangling for years. How old is Skyler now? Are Corey and Rocky ever getting married? Are Summer and Keisha ever graduating college? What are Jinx and Mickey going to do for Linda? Are Crazy Harry’s children ever returning from the netherrealm hellscape they fell into?
But nah. We get an inane and confusing strip, where I have no idea what ‘think outside the choir loft’ might mean, and I can’t tell if Dinkle is shouting ‘Bingo!’ as an exclamation of affirmation, a suggestion of gambling, or the idea to sell the cat for money. And I have no idea if the old lady in the last panel is trying to let Dinkle know bingo the fundraising game is taken by another church group, or the cat Bingo has been taken by animal control.
And it’s still dumb as sin, sinfully dumb, and just plain sinful, that this church choir is expending so much effort to buy choir robes. Choir robes. A pointless boondoggle for a congregation who, if choir participation is anything to go by, is dying from lack of young people and men.
St. Peter would be very grumpy at you!
“Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” 1 Peter 3:3-4.
For any of you readers who are Mothers, Grandmothers, Aunts, Dog Moms, Cat Moms, or just enjoy worrying over people who don’t dress warmly and making sure everyone has snacks, Happy Mother’s Day. Your work is valued, and you are loved. And you deserve so much more today than a Dinkle strip.
Son of Stuck Funky 
“Well, I’ll admit that selling candy to raise funds is probably pretty old school anymore”…the guy who wrote that sentence was once nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, you know. How did this nonsensical pile of words make it past the editor? Oh yeah…that’s right.
Then you have the last three panels, which incredibly enough make even less sense. What’s been “taken”? The game of bingo? The name Bingo? And how is this even a joke? Am I missing something here again or what?
I assume the intended meaning is this:
– Dinkle thought of a way to make money from Bingo the cat.
– The lady behind Dinkle thought he meant bingo, the game.
– There is a different group at the church (not the choir) that already hosts bingo games to raise money for themselves.
– The lady wants Dinkle to know that his bingo idea has been “taken”/claimed by another group.
The confusing bit is that Dinkle is shouting the word “Bingo!” as an interjection, which introduces additional meanings (“announcing an unexpected event or instantaneous result” or “expressing endorsement of a correct assertion”) that we are apparently expected to ignore entirely. Or maybe Batiuk got “Bingo!” and “Eureka!” mixed up.
See, I think Dinkle is “bingo-ing” over the very idea that you can raise funds without selling candy or turkeys door-to-door. Of course regular FW readers are well aware that this has already been done in FW but, as usual, BatYam is banking on no one remembering that, which in his defense they probably don’t.
What still doesn’t make sense is how bingo (the game) has been “taken”, as if only one church is allowed to host bingo games and it isn’t theirs. I mean why couldn’t they host bingo games? Is there some sort of local statute or something?
Not a different church, but a different group within the same church. The Women’s Guild, or the Knights of Columbus, or something. And presumably you hit diminishing returns at some point, or the church would have a permanent 24-hour bingo parlor. (Then again, casinos do make a lot of money…)
For the past week I’ve been reading this strip and wondering what language it was written in since I cannot seem to find any meaning when I try to read it in English.
And Batty missed a chance to honor famous televangelist Ernest Angley. That dude knew how to raise funds, he had his own 747 ! His televised faith healings were classic. The late great James Randi exposed his tricks back in the 1990s, but people still flocked to his services.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2021/05/07/ernest-angley-controversial-televangelist-dies-age-99/4998601001/
Ernest Angley – The ability of his followers to suspend disbelief was something to watch.
I used to live near his Grace Cathedral and every weekend and I would see people lining up for his services. He was an Akron legend in more ways than one!
“Wait, let’s go real old-school with our fundraising! How much would the average parishioner pay for a plenary indulgence? Plentary, I would wager!”
“I don’t know, Mr. Dinkle! People in Westview are already self-indulgent!”
Simony! That’s the ticket ladies! Good old fashioned simony! Selling church offices is as easy as Simony says!
They’ll hire Simon E. Legree to handle the operation.
The whole strip this year, what with Dinkle being showered with praise and Funky lecturing people on the Discman…it all seems like some terribly unprepared MC trying to keep the crowd amused or interested because the star attraction a) is stuck in traffic and hasn’t arrived when expected, or b) has decided it just isn’t worth it and is on his way to the next lonely nothing town.
“Well, I’ll admit that selling candy to raise funds is probably pretty old school anymore?” You’re the one who browbeat them into doing it, you jackass! After you kept them practicing until 2 AM for no reason! You obviously have no ability to lead a choir, and we’ve never even seen you play the organ. Why aren’t you fired yet?
Why hasn’t Batty been fired yet?
Surprised we did not get a “Lisa would be proud” strip today.
You’re telling me that last week’s cat strips are going to have a payoff? This has exceeded my expectations. Granted, there’s a lot of fat that could have been trimmed, and I agree that today’s strip is needlessly confusing—what does Bingo have to do with “think[ing] beyond the choir loft”, since we’ve never seen him outside the choir loft? But at least we’re going somewhere.
I’ll believe something is “new, innovative, and original” in this strip when I see it… Which means I’ll never believe it.
Just tell me that Dinkle’s idea isn’t door-to-door Bingo games, with the old ladies dragging around a scoreboard and some wacky machine that generates the letter-number combinations.
If Dinkle is failing at selling candy how long will it be before the Belgian economy crashes?
Experts are still waffling on the answer.
Their national economy worsened after they banned pastries. Yes, Belgium put the kibosh on the Kaiser roll.
Panel 1: Some anonymous crone states what we all could have predicted: The candy sale idea was stupid and didn’t work.
Panel 2: Harry offers a “mistakes were made” admission in broken English.
Panel 3: In classic corporate management style, Harry says “You underlings must assume accountability and fix this”, while waving his tiny hands.
Panel 4: A forced, borderline nonsensical turn of a phrase.
Panel 5: Call back to the cat!
Panel 6: I don’t even know or care.
In panel 4, the phrase should be “think outside the choir loft”. Nobody says “think beyond the box”.
Panel Four Correction: “In other words, you want us to talk to the leaders of this church we presumably all belong to, and maybe bring up the idea of getting money from said church’s general budget for a dozen or so new robes. You may even want us to meet with the reverend/parson/priest/rabbi/imam/chief snake handler of St. Spires, who oddly enough has never been seen or heard from since your arrival, and see what he or she thinks. Is that it?”
Dear Lord, what a wasted week this has been.
1. It’s funny because The Big Dink could easily pay for the 8-10 choir robes out of his own pocket and write it off on his taxes as a charitable donation…
2. I’m not going anywhere near that sentence structure in the second panel… Batiuk is sorely in need of a proofreader because his dialogue is only getting worse.
3. I’m pretty sure the candy sales were a failure because the little old ladies can’t cover that much ground, and they never had permission or authorization from the pastor to use the church name in their sales pitch.
4. I love how Mr. Expert Fundraiser is expecting the little old ladies to bail him out of this mess
Well I’m also getting tired of all the post covid talk over on Crankshaft. That is a total mess. He should have just ignored it completely. He was too lazy to insert some topical strips last year, but instead spent time writing a choir arc. What goes through his mind?
Fun fact: Dinkle’s use of “anymore” there is a legit regionalism (not just a Batiukism like “Bingo, Sherlock!”). It’s called “positive anymore,” and it’s where people use the word in a positive sense, similar to the use of “nowadays,” rather than in a strictly negative sense. I first learned about it when a friend from Illinois would say things like, “Anymore, people read comics online instead of in the newspaper.” You can read more about it at https://ygdp.yale.edu/phenomena/positive-anymore.
The rest of the strip still reads as nonsensical to me, though.
That’s genuinely interesting. Thanks for sharing!
Is the Bingo the Cat merch going to look like Bingo on a good day (cute in a scruffy way) or like Bingo on a bad day (Pet Sematery fan art)?
So the cat is going to solve their monetary woes? No joke, that “Grumpy Cat” was a stinking millionaire.
If Dinkle is the choir director, and empowered to initiate fundraising drives, shouldn’t he be telling the group what the results were? Why is he sitting in the audience listening to someone else lead the discussion about it?