Are They At Comic-Con?

So I guess Flash and Ruby are the entirety of the panel? Again, I would think if you’re hosting a panel discussion with two people, you would notify (or ask) them first rather then counting on their coworkers to let them know, but I’m not a comics professional, so what do I know.
I do like how the Unnamed Moderator was able to actually give specifics about Ruby’s work, but what he’s saying about Flash sounds like the kind of thing you’d say if you were called on stage to give a speech about a total stranger.
I really have no clue at all what the sentence in the last panel is supposed to mean, though.


Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

31 responses to “Are They At Comic-Con?

  1. William Thompson

    We’ll need a link to the new strip please.

  2. billytheskink

    So Flash was known as the opposite of TB, got it.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Except, given Darth Heckler’s outburst, Flash may have been identical to TB. That is, incredibly creative with his biography.

  3. Stoop Mixxe

    This doesn’t even make any fucking sense.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Trying to make sense of a Funky Winkerbean plot is like trying to figure out which way is up on an M.C. Escher drawing.

  4. J.J. O'Malley

    At last, Vader’s fiendish master plan rises! He’ll disrupt the panel until he’s escorted out!

    I assume TB didn’t have the moderator list Starbuck Jones or any other of Flash’s credits to keep readers on their edge of their seats for another day, or two, or (God help us, this thing is going to extend into) next week, but it does strike of simply trying to set up today’s “shocking punchline.” If only Mopey or Durwood were there to defend their idol, but they’re…on the convention floor promoting their books? No, that can’t be right!

    This really is going into next week as well, isn’t it?

  5. William Thompson

    What a crowd! They couldn’t even fill four rows of seats.

  6. Banana Jr. 6000

    Oh my God, it’s the Shockmaster.

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Truly, the greatest use of a stormtrooper helmet outside of the Ewok victory celebration on Endor.

    • Mr. A

      I’ve never watched wrestling, so I have absolutely no context for this. And I think that makes it even better. Please don’t try to explain it.

  7. Banana Jr. 6000

    Um, Mr. Moderator, don’t you mean “Flash Freeman, the guy who invented Starbuck Jones”? That stupid 1950s pulp sci-fi is supposed to be the biggest franchise in your universe. Except that Star Wars also exists in universe, so maybe it isn’t? But Batiuk wrote an entire backstory for Batom Comics that explained exactly this. Why is that detail, something that should be the biggest thing in Freeman’s life, not used here?

    At the same time, the HoF moderator tells us that Ruby Lith wasn’t even allowed to sign her own covers of Miss American, and had to work under male pseudonyms. So why does she get introduced for creating that character? And why is this even noteworthy, when that character’s IP rights sat unowned for decades until Chester Hagglemore blindly bought it? Why did Chester call it “our new character” in one of the many Sunday comic book covers?

    It’s like the writing got their Hall of Fame intros completely backwards! Flash should be known for creating a character, and Ruby should get the more generic “prolific and creative” info. Batiuk drones on for months with this goddamn bullpen dreck, and he can’t keep the simplest details straight.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      That should say “Ruby’s backstory tells us that she wasn’t even allowed to sign her own covers…”

    • Gerard Plourde

      You’re right – the writing is completely backwards. But the lack of structure, pacing, and attention to the canon he’s established permeates the entire arc as usual. Instead of spending days talking about the lines, he could have been building up to whatever the reveal is involving Big Helmet.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        And in today’s blog he has the nerve to say “each jump cut is still jarring almost as if the story is being written as it’s being typed.” About somebody else’s work, of course.

        • Gerard Plourde

          His blog posts this week have been revealing. In the July 13 post he says that the strip that Lisa is looking at in this 1996 item is actually one he drew in fifth grade. The protagonist appears to be labeled (dun-dun-dun) STARBUCK JONES.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        The canon isn’t any better. The Batom Comics story starts with an FBI raid in 1972, flashes back to 1954, works its way up to 1955, and never addresses why the raid happened. But it drones on about some high school kid who gets a job writing for them and uses it to pull rank on his English teacher. Garbage in, garbage out.

  8. Dood

    Is Dark Helmet going to use his Schwartz?

  9. Banana Jr. 6000

    Where’s the rest of the gang? They flew all the way out to San Diego and got VIP treatment for this sole purpose, and they don’t even seem to be in the (very sparse) crowd.

    And was no one else elected to the Hall of Fame this year? What was this panel going to be if Pete didn’t ask them to induct Flash and Ruby at the last minute? “What? You want us to put two people into the Hall of Fame? Wow, thanks, yeah, we totally forgot to induct anyone this year.”

  10. hitorque

    1. I like how Batiuk’s signature make it look like Flash has some long-assed sideburns… It’s an improvement for his look and he should keep it.


    3. So that was the great criminal mastermind plan? To troll and heckle the panel for a few minutes before getting tossed by security?? And getting his partner’s (let’s call him ‘Earth-2 Funky’) “Exhibitor” credentials yanked for life?? Do Dark Helmet and Earth-2 Funky even realize Peter Coreleone will have them both chopped up into fat meaty chunks and fed to the sharks at SeaWorld before the weekend is over??

    3a. It’s funny because there’s no way in hell Dark Helmet’s dramatic interjection was understood by anyone through that mask…

    3b. I’m old enough to remember when grown-ass folks solved their financial disputes with attorneys and not heckling…

    4. Why didn’t the moderator mention the fact that these two are Hall of Fame Inductees? It was already announced on the website weeks ago, right? And why the hell are there only two people on this panel? I find it unlikely that these are the only two Silver Age superstars still living in 2021…

    4a. And since the Starsuck Jonese movie was a global smash hit grossing more than Black Panther and Infinity War combined, I’d have thought there would have been a hell of a lot more fan interest in Flash?

    4b. If Peter Coreleone could make one phone call and get these two fossils into the Hall of Fame, why not make two phone calls and make sure their panel was standing room only with surprise celebrity appearances??

  11. erdmann

    Dark Helmet: And that’s just his biography!
    Moderator: What’s that supposed to mean?
    DH: I mean it’s “incredibly creative.”
    Moderator: Is that meant to be an insult?
    DH: I mean that it… it’s not accurate. He made a lot of it up.
    Flash: You mean the person who wrote it made it up. A biography, by definition, is written by someone other than the subject. An autobiography is written by the subject. And in my case, yes, the author of my biography included many inaccuracies, glaring omissions and outright falsehoods. I was very disappointed and have said so several times.
    Burly security guard: Come along, sir.
    DH (screaming while being dragged from the room by two large, disgruntled men): No! Wait! I had a point to make! Dammit! I had a point! Noooo!

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    How is “and that’s just his biography” even a heckle? It almost sounds like a compliment, as if Freeman’s life is greater than his biography. It could be an insult in context, like if one wrestler is bragging on the mic and another one busts in to interrupt him. Or if we could hear the speaker’s tone of voice, but of course the nature of a written story doesn’t allow that. But as an opening line from an unknown person who is inexplicably wearing a Darth Vader mask to a silver age comic books panel, it’s just confusing! Even the panel has this look in their eyes of “what?”

  13. Mr. A

    Batiuk: “Women in comics had it rough! They deserve more recognition!”

    Also Batiuk: makes his woman-in-comics character split her big moment of recognition 50/50 with a man, and then has the whole plot revolve around the man.

    Does he not notice his inconsistency here? Or does he not think of it as inconsistent?

  14. Sourbelly

    So Mystery Boy, you set out to humiliate Floppyhead. But you’re the only person in the room wearing a costume. Don’t you feel stupid as hell?

    • He’s not even wearing a full costume. I know lots of people cosplay at ComicCon and other events, but they complete the costume. Someone wearing a Batman cowl with regular clothes is going to impress others as an imbecile.

  15. A possibly better line would be “And that’s just his resume!” since it would talk more about the work he’s produced. But, I have to confess, I’m not a syndicated cartoonist.

  16. Epicus Doomus

    I get it now. Flash is actually BatYam (which makes Ruby Ayers, BTW) and Dwarf Vader is us, the online FW snark community and what he’s trying to do here is take the piss out of himself by acknowledging how full of shit he is during those awful puff interviews that run in the “Lifestyles” section of the Akron Daily Bugle’s Sunday magazine supplement every year or so.

    Nah, just kidding. It’s sitcom tropes 101 here, as Flash’s mystery detractor rudely disrupts the CCCBHOF ceremony by yelling derogatory things. At least SOMETHING is finally happening, kind of, at least. Sigh.

  17. beware of eve hill

    It seems there were a few issues with last night’s blog post. Despite what the timestamp states, the new post wasn’t there at 11:30PM EDT (9:30PM MDT) when I shut down my electronics for the night. It appears the post was submitted shortly afterward, but there was no link to today’s FW strip. Ultimately, a link was made, but it’s linked to the wrong strip, yesterday’s. Mind you, I’m not complaining, but have a couple words I’d like to share to make my feelings clear.

    I understand.

    Things don’t always go as planned. I couldn’t sleep last night and took a sleep aid. I normally get up at 6:00 AM which gives me plenty of time to make coffee, eat breakfast, put on my makeup, and prepare for the morning bullpen meeting. My work day starts at 8:00AM. My husband plays 18 holes of golf on Fridays and had already left the house before 6:00AM. This sleep aid is a brand I’ve never tried before, but appears to work extremely well on me. Apparently, I hit the snooze alarm nine times and didn’t get up until approximately 7:30 AM. This sleep aid has two tablets per dose, and it may be a good idea to take only one next time. In a panic, I got up and went to make the coffee. I was still feeling groggy, so I decided to make a full pot. I put the coffee on and went back to the bedroom to change into presentable work clothes and brush my hair. There was a surprise waiting for me back in the kitchen when I got back. Coffee makers work best when you actually remember to place the carafe in the cradle. I had to mop up the mess and didn’t have time for breakfast or put on my makeup. The online meeting started on time and went well. One of my team members asked if I was feeling okay because I looked “tired”. Gee, thanks. Not putting on makeup will do that to a gal.

    Lunch didn’t go much better. I had a couple of lobster cakes in the fridge that I was looking forward to eating today. I opened the fridge and they were gone. My husband had eaten them. That’s fair because we both hate mystery leftovers in the refrigerator and have a rule. Anything left in the refrigerator after three days is fair game. It was just a little surprising because my husband is a meat and potatoes kind of guy who claims he doesn’t like seafood.

    Our grocery shopping day is Saturday, so there were slim pickings in the fridge. I decided to contact a food delivery service. There was a new mom-and-pop restaurant that I wanted to try out. It was just my luck today to get stuck with the delivery person from hell. On the food delivery service app, you can check the driver’s progress. They arrived at the restaurant in decent time, but they were there for about 15 minutes. I guess they decided to kill two birds with one stone and ordered their own lunch. Upon leaving the plaza, they drove off IN THE WRONG DIRECTION! I guess they forgot they were making a delivery. After about three minutes, they must have realized there was a bag of food in the car that didn’t belong to them. Fifteen minutes later, they arrived at the road that leads to my home’s development. They stopped for about 15 seconds, crept slightly forward past it, then slowly backed up and made the turn! This on a fairly busy four lane road that has a blind curve. They were lucky they weren’t run over by a truck! The app display showed the driver drove past my home twice in each direction. She called me on my cell saying she couldn’t find my house. Okay, I’ll admit there’s a tree that obscures our house number from the street, but homes on either side have clearly displayed house numbers. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize 636 is found between 632 and 640. I had to go outside and wave her down. By the time the delivery was made, I had lost my appetite. Sorry kid. I gave you two stars because you actually accomplished the delivery, but the “tip-o-meter” dropped all the way to zero. I put the gyro in the refrigerator. We were planning on using the grill tonight, so I won’t have the gyro for dinner either. No worries though. My husband will eventually eat it. Apparently he’ll eat anything.

    Some days you should never get out of bed and that almost became a reality.

    Anyway, enough spleen-venting. I’m supposed to be here for a different reason. A few insights about today’s gift offering garbage from Batty.

    For the trip, Mopey Pete appears to have traded in his long standby green flannel shirt by changing into a red flannel shirt. No fear, though. Mopey Pete’s travelling green shirt has found a new home. It can be seen to the extreme right-hand side of panel # 3. The gut is even wearing the obligatory black t-shirt underneath.

    Also, if Darth Heckler is supposed to be a bad guy, shouldn’t he be portrayed as a bad boy? Slouching and putting up his feet on the row of chairs in front of him?

    Finally, is anybody else rooting for Darth Heckler? I hope he throws a few zings in Ruby’s direction too.