Cory Smirkerbean

Where exactly do Cory and Rocky live? I assume they still live in Westview; if not I’m surprised we didn’t get a “Cory moves away” arc. If they do still live in Westview, I’m confused at why they’re spending the night at the Winkerbeans. It’s allowing the same “you can call me Mom” material I’ve seen any time someone meets their future in-laws on a sitcom, which is something.
At first I thought Rocky calling Holly “ma’am” had to do with her army background, but if that’s the case I feel like the strip should make that a little more obvious.
These kind of storylines always make me a little sad, because it sure seems set up to be the kind of thing where the fans are happy to see their favorite couple finally tying the knot, but I have the feeling 90% of the people reading this don’t remember who Cory is, and 99%+ don’t know who Rocky is.



Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

40 responses to “Cory Smirkerbean

  1. Epicus Doomus

    I must have forgotten the one where Cory and Rocky move away. I remember them being at Dinkle’s Thanksgiving, I think, and before that I recall Cory working at Montoni’s, but apparently they moved away at some point and I missed it. Or intentionally blotted it from my memory, either or.

    Why wouldn’t Rocky remember the layout of the house? They’ve been engaged for seven years now, and I would assume they’ve been to the house numerous times. It’s always funny when he picks up a plot thread he dropped YEARS before and plays it like no time has passed at all. See, I used to think that eventually Cory and Summer would have gotten together, forming an unholy Winkerbean/Moore alliance that would have led to all kinds of hilarity, but he came up with the totally pointless Rocky instead, for reasons only he really understands. And even that’s iffy.

    • William Thompson

      I think he came up with that “Rocky” bit strictly as a one-off gag. Cory is on patrol with another heavily-laden soldier who he calls Rocky, and at the end of the week it turn’s out she’s Raquel, or Roxanne, or some other girl-name that you can shorten to Rocky. It was a grand time to make the ha-ha.

      • Epicus Doomus

        I remember that, I also remember her being peripherally involved in the Starbuck Jones collection arc, sort of.

    • be ware of eve hill

      There was a previous story arc where Rocky and Cory slept in his old bedroom. I thought it was odd that two adults shared a twin bed. I hope they liked spooning all night.

      On the other hand, they’re military and most likely familiar with all kinds of sleeping arrangements.

  2. Y. Knott

    Yup, put me in that category of readers who have no idea who these characters are (except that they appeared in the Thanksgiving sequence where everyone Harry Dinkle ever met showed up and attempted to suffocate him to death by packing his house with people to the point where he couldn’t breathe. Shame this excellent plan failed!)

    Judging by these characters’ scintillating repartee on display so far, it would seem that I have not really missed anything.

    • Epicus Doomus

      In early Act III, Cory was the sneering ne’er-do-well, an obnoxious punk with a bad attitude who appeared to be on a one-way path to nowhere. Then he went to the local fair and took part in a chin-up contest sponsored by the local army recruiter. After that, he enlisted and was assigned to a bomb-removal squadron in Iraqistan. There he met Roxanne aka Rocky, a fellow comic book enthusiast. He returned home as a ramrod straight and unbelievably bland model citizen, to the amazement of absolutely no one. Then he proposed to Rocky after selling the Starbuck Jones collection his mother put together, in order to buy Rocky a ring. And that’s more or less where it left off.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Batiuk thinks he’s created the US version of The Office, where all he has to do is reference his own lore. “Remember this banal incident from nine years ago between these two nobodies? Well, the characters do! Isn’t this show clever?” Except Batiuk’s opposed to aside glances for some reason, which is the whole point of the exercise. And, as ED said, he also ignores huge swaths of his own lore that should be relevant to how we view these characters.

    • be ware of eve hill

      That Thanksgiving arc should be known as ‘The Parade of Funky Winkerbean Fringe Characters.’

  3. billytheskink

    As someone who grew up in a three bedroom house, I find Holly’s question to be incredibly obtuse. I was also going to point out that Cory is right there and can show Rocky to his old room… but clearly he’s too busy looking for his pith helmet to lead the way.

    • Epicus Doomus

      Yeah, it’s not the Hearst estate or anything, she’d figure it out on her own eventually, I’m sure. Then again, we don’t know a whole lot about Rocky, so it’s entirely possible that she’s a world-class dullard.

      • J.J. O'Malley

        “Yeah, it’s not the Hearst estate…” So, then, can we instead refer to the Winkerbean home as San Simpleton?

        Truly, no one’s attitude in this strip makes any sense. Cory was a Montoni’s employee and visiting his mother as recently as last Fall, Holly is acting as if Cory and Rocky haven’t been engaged for OVER SIX YEARS, and Rocky seems unfazed by the fact that her nose changes from curvy to sharp and pointy in the space of two panels. Strange days indeed.

  4. robertodobbs

    Rocky is drawn completely differently in the 2 panels. It’s not even close to being the same person.

  5. Sourbelly

    Cory’s permasmirk is starting to annoy me. Look, Cory, I get that you don’t get much “screen” time in this strip, but do you really think the constant smirking will help you? Hmmm…. Maybe it will. In fact, you might be playing this just right, you youngish rascal!

    As for this Rocky creature, whatever.

    • Epicus Doomus

      This is all I can see re: Cory.

      • J.J. O'Malley

        How dare you, Epicus, even contemplate putting Cory Mc Smugmug on the same level as “Henry, The Funniest Living American” (that’s how he was billed when he co-starred in a 1935 Betty Boop cartoon)! The word-free wonder that was Henry is his own comic strip puts anything in FW to shame!

      • be ware of eve hill


  6. The Dreamer

    And nobody, especially Rocky, is supposed to remember that Cory Winkerbean is a criminal delinquent and thief He stole the Lisa’s Legacy run money one year, which should have been felony grand theft, and was in and out of trouble Rocky should not marry him A stint in the army doesnt change a personality … Cory will return to his life of crime!

    • newagepalimpsest

      If Cory returned to his old ways, that would make the strip somewhat exciting, and you know we can’t be having that.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      That story was infuriating, even by this strip’s standards. Funky should have said “Cory, you stole the donations for the Lisa’s Legacy Run? My own stepson desecrated the memory of the beloved Lisa, and drove Les into apoplexy? Great job, kid, How much did you get? Here, I’ll double it. Keep it to yourself and we’ll stand here and watch the prick’s face turn purple.”

  7. erdmann

    Holly: Rocky, you and Cory will be in his old room. Do you remember where it is?
    Rocky: Yes, ma’am. We’ve [fornicated] there many times. Many, many, MANY times. So many times I’ve lost cou—
    Holly [interupting]: Oh, look at the time! I need to start dinner! [Flees the room looking shaken and pale]
    Cory: That was unnecessarily cruel.
    Rocky: Yes, it was. And that’s why you love me.
    Cory [embracing her]: Ohhh, yes. Now, tell me what you have in mind for Funky. And remember, he’s got a weak heart.
    Rocky [purring]: I’m counting on it, babe…

    • hitorque

      The joke’s on them because Funky and Holly **LOVE** to watch and have the room wired for video and sound… Why do you think they were invited to stay there?

  8. DickJohnson

    Does Cory have Bells Palsy?

  9. The Dreamer

    Remember that Funky is not Cory’s biological father Cory is the son of Holly’s evil, psychotic, abusive first husband. Who was so abusive that Holly changed Cory’s last name to Winkerbean. All memory of husband #1 has been erased He won’t even be invited to the wedding. But Rocky beware, Cory is *just like* his biological father

    • hitorque

      Wait… Who was Holly’s first husband? And how horrible was he that his biological son would willingly want to change his last name to fucking “Winkerbeane?”

  10. newagepalimpsest

    Even if this was supposed to run years ago, it’s a bit weird to see Holly and Rocky at the awkward stage of their relationship when they work together most days.

    And if they are meant to have moved (and only be helping at Montoni’s as family/seasonal help), it wouldn’t surprise me. This strip just rips through developments in the character’s lives like they’re incidental details, but it spends weeks on whether or not those two old assholes will put a cape on their new superhero or not.

  11. ComicBookHarriet

    Who can forget Corey’s old room. Which was full of nerd memorabilia last time we saw it, despite the fact he’s been out of the house for years…and was supposed to have been a antisocial punk in high school

  12. Banana Jr. 6000

    “Call me mom! Not for reasons of affection or kinship, but because you must be infantilized at all times.”

    • Maxine of Arc

      Yesterday I predicted Rocky wouldn’t be allowed to say anything during the planning of “her” wedding. I don’t count “yes, ma’am” as a real sentence, so I continue to predict this.

      Does Rocky not have parents of her own?

  13. Rusty Shackleford

    Is this how people plan weddings these days? You go to the groom’s house and sleep over and spend the entire weekend planning?

    Another one of Batty’s well thought out plots…

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      You go to the groom’s house and sleep over even though you’re both pushing 40, live in the same town, and the groom’s father is also your boss.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Is that Rocky’s half dead grandma in the banner? She looks absolutely miserable, she probably is staying alive just to spite her creator, to spite him for giving her such a miserable existence.

  14. hitorque

    1. uh… Aren’t Cory and Roxanne like well into their mid-30s by now? Do they really need to stay at “mom’s” house?

    1a. Didn’t we already have a week of “Cory and Roxanne awkwardly sleeping in Cory’s room which has been preserved just as it was when he was a teenager, complete with his SEGA Dreamcast and NBA 2k1, his complete set of action figures from that first X-Men movie from 2000 and some glossy wank posters of Jessica Alba, Jennifer Lopez and Anna Kournikova?” Do we really need to revisit that?

    2. Maybe I’m old fashioned, maybe I was just raised different… But this is supposed to be Ahia, aka God’s Country… Whatever happened to “no sleeping in the same bed until you’re married?” Oh right I forgot it’s the Funkyverse and intercourse between committed couples is only allowed if it results in conception…

    2a. This strip is going to last long enough that we’ll eventually see a seven-year-old “Cory Junior” working with mom and dad at Montoni’s aren’t we??

  15. be ware of eve hill

    I’m curious to see if Batty will remember that Holly’s mom, Melinda, moved in with them a few years ago. Didn’t the Winkerbeans have to add another bathroom for her?

    Perhaps she’s shacking up with Funky’s dad, Mort. That is, if he’s not on tour with the Beside Mannerisms.

  16. I can’t imagine that there are any fans whose favorite FW couple is Cory and Rocky.