Full Frontal Funky

Hello everyone, and welcome to the image that is going to haunt your nightmares for the rest of your life!
Here we are again with another classic sitcom trope, where one person walks in on someone else in the shower when they’re visiting their house. I’m extremely confused about the setup here, because every single time I’ve seen this elsewhere, one person things their loved one is in the shower and walks in to surprise them, and then they get surprised.
But here, apparently Rocky had no clue at all someone else was using the shower? I’m not sure exactly how big the Winkerbean house is supposed to be, but in every house I’ve lived in, you can hear it when someone is showering. Somehow Rocky didn’t hear that at all, and didn’t think it was odd that the door was closed, and didn’t think of knocking first.
This really has be a new low for the art. I wonder if it was Ayers’ idea to prominently highlight Funky’s crack and part of each cheek, or if that was in Batiuk’s directions? Either way I’m deeply creeped out.

40 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

40 responses to “Full Frontal Funky

  1. Epicus Doomus

    And that’ll do it. You win, BatHam. You’ve left us no choice but to shutter SoSF forever, as none of us are (or could possibly be) prepared for full rear-al nudity. Well done, you sick, twisted bastard. I haven’t been this queasy since I ate that french fry I found under my car seat.

    But seriously folks, sweet Mother Of God. This is either an appalling new low, or the single greatest FW weekday strip of all time. I just mostly feel really bad for this Ayers guy, who as far as I know never did anything to deserve having to draw that. He’s obviously a good sport, that Ayers.

    • Mela

      When you warned of a horrifying turn, I thought “Maybe Cory’s biological dad shows up and gives Les a run for his money on being an ass at an event”. Then I thought, “Maybe we’ll find out that Cory forgot that he got married while enlisted and he’s (cue sitcom trope and laugh track) STILL MARRIED.” But then I figured those wouldn’t be horrifying by SOSF standards, so I thought “No, they are going to ask Les to perform the ceremony.” And I was so very, very, wrong. Dear Lord, was I wrong…

      • Epicus Doomus

        That tuft of armpit hair is one of the most deliberately cruel things FW has ever done, and bear in mind BatYam has actually killed and maimed characters before. So the bar is set pretty freaking high.

  2. William Thompson

    Which is worse–the vertical smile in panel two, or the horizontal smile in panel one?

  3. Y. Knott

    Batiuk is nothing if not consistent. With no dialogue and no set-up, this is the very laziest way possible to “write” what is already a very lazy gag.

    Ayers, very correctly figuring that butts are funny, does what he can with this giant nothingburger.

  4. Captain Gladys Stoatpamphlet

    Rocky has her toiletries in her left hand. She turns the knob with her right hand, lets go, then SHOVES the door open with her right hand. Not an accident.

  5. Sourbelly

    This isn’t just gratuitous nudity. This is…whatever is infinitely worse than gratuitous.

    Or maybe Batdick will somehow “tie this in” with the rest of this “story” in a way that makes “organic” “sense”. Ugh. My quoting fingers are cramping up.

  6. sorialpromise

    My eyes! My eyes!

  7. ian'sdrunkenbeard

  8. billytheskink

    Even Brooke McEldowney probably thinks this is too much.

    The worst part, I think, is that Funky is holding a towel, which appears as it covers anything untoward on his other side. Meaning: we’re getting more of a peep show than Rocky is. Ugh.

    • Epicus Doomus

      The point could have just as easily been made without the ass. Has any FW character had his or her dignity just completely (sorry) stripped away more than Funky has? He’s the (sorry) butt of every demeaning and degrading joke, and why? Just because he was relatively normal and well-adjusted in high school? It’s all so sick and warped.

      • spacemanspiff85

        Batiuk has seemed to have a deep and personal grudge against Funky for a long, long time now. It’s really disturbing.

        • Epicus Doomus

          Funky was happy and well-adjusted in high school, solidly middle-of-the-road. Then he dated and married the hottest girl in his class. And he’s going to pay for those sins for the rest of his days, over and over again.

    • Hitorque

      If Brooke McEldowney the degenerate was writing this, then Roxanne would actually be some mythical ancient demigod or vampire who decided to assume the form of a 14 year old girl (yet somehow she’d be 5’10 and have Instagram-perfect 40EE-22-33 proportions)…

      Then while Dr. Rundfunk is still cowering behind the shower curtain, Roxanne would spend an entire week delivering some long-winded quasi-Shakespearian oration about the inherent frailty of the male gender, how she survived in a past life when she was abandoned topless in Antarctica, and the mating habits of the Phoenix…

      Then next week she’d take off her bathrobe in an artistic flourish and while still standing in the doorway she’d leap at Funkensteiger like a lionesses pouncing on prey or a baserunner diving for home plate for the winning run in the World Series…. McEldowney would naturally spend another week just illustrating this leap, frame by silent frame. In the last panel on Friday, we see her lips have finally reached his while she’s still in mid-air…

      Then next week we see that the tub and bathroom have turned into some featureless psychedelic pastel orange and green void, filled with an “ocean” of sticky bright purple goo with a thin layer of glitter on top. Both characters “frolic” in this liquid for another dialogue-free week…

      Then, eight months and a couple of unrelated storylines later, Holly decides to give the same ‘treatment’ to an unwilling (but not that unwilling) Cory… But since Holly isn’t an immortal demigod, she humps his brains out in a more conventional manner, and somehow cheeseburgers are involved. And only when Cory is crumpled on the flood as a spent, postcoital mess does Holly tell him that she isn’t his biological mother… But she chose not to tell him that before because, you know, it’s so much hotter that way…

      (NOTE: I’m not making any of this up — You read Chickweed’s archives and you’ll see this is pretty vanilla by Brooke’s standards)

      • ComicBookHarriet

        I honestly don’t know why they let 9CL on the same sites as wholesome family strips like The Boondocks.

        • Hitorque

          Exactly… And Boondocks also serves as a political voice for the black community as well….

          9CL is just some deviated prevert foisting his fetishes on the public.

  9. ian'sdrunkenbeard

  10. J.J. O'Malley

    Well, between Thursday’s “Beetle Bailey” strip with Sarge in the shower and today’s “FW” ecdysiastic display, I feel as if I need to go climb into the tub and repeatedly scrub my eyes with a wire brush. Wish me luck.

    Betcha Holly’s mad that she didn’t think to add a second bathroom during her last home reno, huh?

  11. ComicBookHarriet

    You say a new low. I say this is some of the best stuff Ayers has put out all year. I mean…yeah…it’s horrifying. But it gets the point across. Like the Black Paintings of Goya…the artistry is inseparable from the disgust, unease, and horror.

    • sorialpromise

      Just a glimpse of Funky’s heinie, and CBH brings out the Goya, the ONE artist that all psychiatrists use to probe the depth of erotic impulses. While milady may protest too much, methinks that someone hath been single overly long. Forsooth!

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      I’d be more impressed with the drawing if every single drawing inFunky Winkerbean wasn’t EXACTLY. LIKE. THIS.

      The “Gross Up Close Up” shots in Ren and Stimpy work because they’re more extreme than the cartoon itself (which was already pretty extreme). This isn’t exaggerated, more detailed, uglier than usual, or have any qualities that make it interesting. Tom Batiuk doesn’t exaggerate when he should because he must worship his God of Being A Quarter Inch From Reality.

      This should have been drawn by one of Batiuk’s comic book artists Batiuk loves to drag them out for his tired-ass Atomik Komix covers, but doesn’t use them when he should. This gag needs more commitment than is being shown to work.

  12. The Dreamer

    The wedding will be called off now that Rocky has seen Funky full monty. As Rocky now realizes that Cory is totally inadequate as man 🙂

  13. gleeb

    Of course the Winkerbeans keep the bathroom door closed. How else are they to keep the room extra humid to encourage the growth of mildew?

  14. Banana Jr. 6000

    Jeff Foxworthy actually makes this story funny:

  15. Banana Jr. 6000

    This is executed so poorly.

    1. How did we get from domain names to this? It’s now obvious this arc is a garbage dump of random ideas. I see from the masthead that next week we’re back to goddam comic books again.

    2. There are only five people in a gigantic house, one that just had a bathroom remodel a year ago. How does this happen in this place: https://safr.kingfeatures.com/api/img.php?e=png&s=c&file=RnVua3lXaW5rZXJiZWFuLzIwMjEvMDIvRnVua3lfV2lua2VyYmVhbl9xcy4yMDIxMDIyMV8xNTM2LnBuZw==

    3. The joke waters itself down at every turn, but it’s still gross enough to be off-putting. It doesn’t exaggerate anything for comic effect, but it doesn’t downplay it for good taste either. It’s right in the sweet spot of being shocking without being even a tiny bit funny.

    4. What’s even traumatic about this? Rocky’s mom is a character we haven’t seen in years, is implied not to live nearby. and barely knows Funky. And Funky’s not very disgusting. He’s a healthy 55-old with a small beer gut and no known hygiene issues. And she can’t even see Funky’s winkerbean, which is covered by the towel. PG-rated movies show grosser stuff than this.

  16. Dood

    How dare she walk in on Holly?

  17. There’s NFW that the Funky McMansion doesn’t have an ensuite bathroom for Funky and Holly’s bedroom and at least a separate guest bathroom for everybody else. I could see this possibly happening if the whole group went away to a mountain airbnb for a wedding planning retreat or something, but not in their home. I won’t comment about the artwork. There’s nothing I could say that would top the other comments and photos.

    On an unrelated topic, is anybody else seeing that Comics Kingdom is still serving Thursday’s strips, or have they just found another way to piss on the people who refuse to pay for premium?

    • Hitorque

      The ‘single bathroom’ is a common and very tired trope dating all the way back to “The Brady Bunch”… Hell, I know it’s a cartoon but have you ever seen “The Loud House”? That’s 11 kids and two parents sharing a bathroom (!)

    • be ware of eve hill

      I confess to being a Comics Kingdom subscriber. Except for the vintage, the Friday strips are up. Apparently, they just became available because there are hardly any comments.

      Problems in the Comics Kingdom? Say it ain’t so! /S

  18. Hitorque

    1. This is actually the greatest thing I’ve seen in the Funkyverse for a long, long time… Because let’s be honest here — This isn’t really an “accident” by Roxy, is it?

    2. And yes, my filthy little mind is already flooded with dozens of adult-themed storyline possibilities.

    2a. And yes, my filthy little mind is one of the many reasons why I’m not allowed over at the curmudgeon’s site anymore…

    2b. And yes, for the sake of common decency I’ll just end today’s comment here.

  19. Professor Fate

    First thought was of course “The Horror. The Horror.”
    Second thought – nobody and I mean nobody who has seen Psycho takes a shower without making sure that the bathroom door at least is locked.

  20. Rusty Shackleford

    Hi all, just got back from a technology-free beach vacation. Let’s see what I missed….hmmm…the CK page isn’t working again….checking Seattle website….hmm, the Mary Worth story hasn’t moved along at all…let’s see what Funky and the gang are up to….stupid boring for this week, let’s check today’s offering….oh dear…

    I’m out…

  21. Merry Pookster

    No private master bath?
    No locks on doors when there are guests
    Oh, this is Ohio… lucky to have indoor plumbing being this close to Akron.

    • Rusty Shackleford

      And we all have to spend the weekend living together in order to plan the weeding. A simple Zoom call will not suffice. In Ohio we always do things the stupid way.

  22. robertodobbs

    It could have been WAAY worse; it could have been the backside of Les, Dinkle, or Crazy….