Well, now Phil’s just being a jerk. We saw last year that his studio is in a home near some palm trees, somewhere drivable from San Diego Comic-Con. Is that going to be Thursday’s joke? Does Kitch have to get into the car before she learns it’s a cross-country road trip? What does any of this have to do with Kitch’s initial goal of returning to the source of Dibbs Gallery’s Roy Lichtenstein prints? That was only two days ago.
Today’s strip reminds me of the infamous “Me Too on speed dial” strip, where Chester Hagglemore made Ruby Lith get into his car and go to his home for undisclosed reasons. (Spoiler: it was about comic books.) Now Kitch, a woman, has initiated a car trip to a man’s house. (Spoiler: it’ll be about comic books.)
It could have been interesting to re-create that situation, with the genders reversed, as an exploration of sexual double standards. But Funky Winkerbean isn’t nearly that ambitious. For which I am thankful, considering how badly it botched a simple “Me Too” reference. But they could have done this:
Son of Stuck Funky 
This is what it was like to talk with my mother when she began sliding into dementia.
And what it was like to talk to Mort Winkerbean when he began sliding out of dementia.
Phil Dolt is playing hard to get in a strip that’s hard to stomach.
How soon before Kitch & Phil get married in the gazebo?
Looks like Ditch Soon and Philled Hole are going to hook up as an elderly woman/undead man couple!
Isn’t it great how Batdick has used Act 3 to concentrate on the younger characters?
Kitch Swoon, Phil Holt, comic book art…this arc is every SoSF guest host’s worst nightmare. Sorry, Banana, just (bad) luck of the draw. Perhaps next time around you’ll get the “Les dies” arc we’re all waiting on with bated breath. I mean, I have no idea what’s even going on here. I VASTLY preferred it when Phil was dead.
But what does a non-terrible newly-minted Funky Winkerbean arc even look like now? Do such things even exist anymore?
I mean, let’s face it….if Batiuk is sincere in his statements that no-one else will ever take over the writing of his comic strips, then there is no evidence — absolutely none — that Funky Winkerbean will ever be not terrible again.
The best one can hope for is that once every six to eight months or so, a random remaining Batiuk synapse will spit out something that’s almost nearly vaguely beginning to approach mildly quasi-amusing, and we’ll get a single FW strip that commenters agree is not actually actively embarrassing.
But for now? This current Funky Winkerbean arc seems to follow Y. Knott’s Always Accurate Guide to the Three Worst Funky Winkerbean Arcs Of All Time, which are, in order:
3) Whatever arc that just concluded
2) Whatever arc that we’re in the middle of right now
1) Whatever fresh hell is coming next
Oh, this week is like the Carnival in Brazil compared to that week of Dinkle and his friend not eating pizza. This is at least giving me stuff to work with.
Oh yeah, that was some tough, tough sledding. When you see Monday’s strip and think “who the f*ck is THAT guy?” you’re in for a long week.
And “who the f*ck is THAT lady?” on Sunday.
Didn’t Phil give most/all of his old stuff to Durwood, which was then auctioned off for the Lisa’s Legacy Fund? I guess they were just covers, not pages. Whatever.
Luckily for Ms. Kitch one guy bought every single item up for auction… and he’s not far away. Not far away at all.
That’s another great point. Phil was thought dead. All his property was conveyed to inheritants, and then sold at an auction. How does he now have “older comic book pages” for Kitch to casually ask about? How on earth does Kitch not know this, considering she runs a museum of comic book art in the town where this auction happened? Why would she even want to do a show of Phil’s, since his resurrection story had a joke that him not being dead destroyed its collectible value?
This shit is so boring even Tom Batiuk himself can’t be bothered to pay attention to it.
Excellent points. Phil was “dead” for several years. Boy Lisa auctioned off his art. These things definitely happened. Furthermore, Phil lived in California, not Ohio, thus wherever he lives now couldn’t possibly be his historic old comic book art studio, unless he secretly moved it piece by piece while he was hiding from the various authorities and such.
The worst thing about it is how Phil, along with Flash, became a regular character, seemingly overnight. Now he’s around all the time. And, in true FW fashion, no one mentions how he faked his own death and willed his worldly possessions to Boy Lisa, who sold them and gave the proceeds to Les. But he did.
Of course, he didn’t will ALL his worldly possessions to Boy Lisa. We don’t even know if he got rid of anything else in his faked death. Remember the lawyer who passed the comics covers on to Boy Lisa was a BIG FAN who was in on the whole scheme.
The dumbest thing about the thing was faking his death to WORK presumably so he could later COME BACK. That’s opening yourself up for a world of lawsuits from those who bought your art that will now crash in price.
Bringing him back was so stupid. There’s nothing that he and Flash have done in the last year that couldn’t have been done by Flash and Ruby. But instead Ruby is stuck writing funny animal kiddy books as befits her place as a lady, while the big boys handle the new superhero squad.
a world of lawsuits from those who bought your art that will now crash in price.
This was actually a joke in that arc. Someone complained that he just bought some Phil Holt art, which plummeted in value now that he wasn’t dead any more. Batiuk brings a character back from the dead, and the first place his mind goes is the collectible value of comic book art. Hell, Batiuk’s tombstone should read “all those Funky Winkerbean collections are worth more now.”
Happy Hump Day, Miz Swoon!
That’s quite a hump Kitchy Kitchy Koo has developed in panel #1.
QuasimodoKitch Swoon, bell ringer, Notre Dame!Kitch Swoon: What hump?
Ayers appears to be struggling with drawing necks lately. Yesterday, in panel #1, Phil Holt looked like his head was removed and hastily reapplied. Is Phil a robot? That would explain his “resurrection.”
Sorry. I meant to attach this last night, but I ran out of steam. I can’t stay up much past 10:00 PM anymore. I must be getting old. 😴
1. I know he’s currently renting a local place with Freddy Freeman, but isn’t Phil’s “home” in goddamned Mexico?
2. Didn’t Phil bequeath all his best old artwork to Darrin after he died the first time?
3. Aren’t there some copyright issues at play here in displaying and presumably selling someone else’s intellectual property? Phil may have done the art, but someone else wrote the dialogue, right? And what about the original publisher? Along with whatever corporate entity owns the current trademarks on these old characters? They’re all going to want a piece of the pie…
4. Damn, Mrs. Swoon sure is eager to see this old artwork, isn’t she? I wish all women got their nipples hard over something this dull…
4a. And yes, lady — The whole 8 foot by 12 foot comics panel close-up being displayed as hoity-toity high art and quintessential American culture has been done a million times already… I know because I had a memorable first date with a college GF at the High Museum in Atlanta and we saw that exhibit then… That was 1998(!)
5. Shouldn’t Phil be talking money right about now?
6. Whatever happened to working during working hours? Is he really allowed to take the rest of the day off just to show off some old artwork?
Geez, just get a room, you two (Not the coat closet; Darwin and Mopey Pete are in there).
This really is giving “Do you want to se my etchings?” vibes. Is this the setup for the New York arc he touted a while ago?
Meanwhile, over on the FW blog the newest post is an excerpt from the introduction to volume 11 which is equally meandering.
I didn’t think it was possible, but his writing style is getting even more elliptical.
…in the previous Funky volumes, I spoke predominantly to the writing aspect of comics and the constraints encountered therein, and I don’t want to pull on your coat anymore about that here (although I might; it’s still early in the intro, so I’m not making any promises).
So he’s not making any promises about what he just promised us?
And, as if any more proof were needed, the man is just making this shit up as he goes along. He has no idea what this essay is going to be about, and doesn’t care if it contradicts what he said in the very last sentence.
I’ve compared Batiuk’s pompous, wordy writing style to Hedley Lamarr, but at least you knew what the hell Hedley Lamarr was saying.
Check out BattyBlog. He posted another word salad from one of his books.
I hate it when people start a sentence with “So”
Doh, BJ6K beat me to it!
Actually, Gerard Plourde commented on it first. I don’t even watch the Funkyblog anymore, since it is updated so infrequently. Batiuk’s not even keeping his The Flash book reports, old John Darling strips and wordless comic book covers current.
This latest blog entry is truly breathtaking. A stunning precis of Batty’s total self-absorption AND complete lack of self-awareness, all in one ultra-pretentious and cringe-inducing paragraph. An epic achievement.
I really want to sit down and dissect that paragraph. It is a piece of work.
Pretentious and nonsensical all at once. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think FW was some sort of masterpiece and not a clearinghouse for bad puns and wry wordplay.
This is Irene Iddesleigh. It is exactly what Tom Batiuk’s writing sounds like. Pick a random paragraph and you’ll see what I mean.
Banana Jr. 6000,
Are you familiar with the satirical writing of Stephen Leacock? He lampooned the overwrought style of his Victorian contemporaries.
I’m not, but it sounds like I need to take a look.
In what universe are people going to go to a gallery to look at old sketches from a still-living (OR IS HE) comic book artist?
I still can’t get over how this woman just barged in on a private company during the work day, disrupted them from doing their jobs, and is now demanding that one of the workers leave work early to take her to his house where she can see some of his property.
I recognize that Batiuk’s writing has a disconnect from reality that prevents him from seeing just how weird and off his situations are, (ie. there is no workday to disrupt. Phil doesn’t consider his work important enough to not inconvenience) but I’m beginning to wonder if his concept of appropriate human interaction is just broken, period.
It’s consistent with his world, at least. Batiuk spends so much time outlining the fantasy he thinks the universe should build around Creative People like himself. No business pressures. No management. No supervision. No deadlines. Complete freedom to do whatever he wants at all times. Complete ownership rights to all of his own characters, works, and art. Obscene salaries. Random people constantly throwing money. Hollywood begging to make derivative works tailored to his whim, and showing up at his house to hand him their own awards for it.
So yeah. Phil going home in the middle of a workday, to re-sell decades-old comic book art he doesn’t even legally own, fits right into Batiuk’s ego wank.
Love the post title! I just reserved my praise until late in the day to avoid jinxing the ailing Phil Collins.
I love me some No Jacket Required. And to anyone who’s not a fan of Phil Collins: he made “In The Air Tonight.” Your argument is therefore invalid.
Phil Collins was the only performer to appear at BOTH Live Aid shows, on the SAME DAY. No matter my opinion of his solo output, Phil Collins rocks.