Bowling for Soup

Link to multiple weird continuity errors.

Aaaaaand just like that, the teeter tooter pivots and suddenly I’m annoyed again. All the Holly relatability of the last three days evaporates in a puff of smoke because REALLY?

This drivel should be coming out of Les’ mouth. Not only is he a self-important sad-sack always eagerly searching for a way to inject pathos into the most mundane situations, but he also was actually bullied and teased in high school. And the fact that he took a job at the same school district so that he could constantly re-traumatize himself is perfectly in character for Les Moore. He’s just the kind of insufferable pseudo-intellectual that thinks pain is somehow more real than joy, and so seeks it out.

But Holly? Holly, you were a popular and well liked HOMECOMING QUEEN who seemed to take being regularly set on fire with carefree joy. You were so self-confident (and dumb) you didn’t even realize when you were being teased.

She is just gleeful at the prospect of self-immolation.

Maybe I’m missing a subtle turn in her characterization somewhere between where Vintage FW has gotten to on CK and the end of Act I. But while I’ll buy that a plump middle-aged Holly might be a little daunted tonight, wondering who she hasn’t seen in 40 years might have jetted to Westview to judge her weight gain and dough slinging husband, I don’t buy for A SECOND that she was nervous every day she showed up at High School in full majorette attire.

And, news alert Holly. THAT ISN’T THE SAME BUILDING.

December 15, 2005
September 3, 2007

Crazy Harry seemed to remember and reference it earlier this year, when he made sure to take a walk down to ‘the old high school’ during his off-gassing time travel adventure.

I think it’s symbolic of this strip as a whole that Batiuk tried to move on by tearing down the old building 15 years ago, and obviously regrets it now. He wishes he still had the thematic through line. My parents attended the same High School building I did. I remember at a brother’s wrestling meet my mom walking me down to her old locker and her combination still worked. Batiuk would fume in jealousy that such an opportunity is gone. He tried to ‘kill the past’ but somehow Palpatine returned.

He started Act III with big dreams of merging all three acts thematically together. You’ve got the old Act I crew being middle-aged adults, you’ve got the grown up Act II kids in Darin, Pete, and Jessica being the new young adults just starting out, and you’ve got the Muppet Babies kids to keep the High School hijinks flowing.

But now its a gerontocracy of the impossibly old taking over everything. Even poor Pete, Darin, and Mindy have been supplanted by octogenarians.

You’ve all said it below. This shouldn’t be the 50th class reunion. Their 30th class reunion was in 2008. This pretty much confirmed that the time skip from Act II to Act III moved their graduation date from 1988 back to 1978. Summer Moore was established as turning 16 a few months prior. So is she 36 now? Seriously?

I would be perfectly fine with Batiuk having his strip officially enter Comic Book Time. It didn’t bother me at all that it took Bernie Silver six years to graduate. In a medium where a single five minute conversation can take two weeks if a comic year equals a calendar year then you’re leaving a lot of these characters’ lives out. It’s a comic strip, we understand that Christmas comes in December, school starts in September, and it takes eight years for a toddler to turn four. It’s FINE.

But the sudden, inexplicable, fast-forwarding of random characters we’ve gotten recently is just baffling. Why is Crankshaft’s great-grandson suddenly eight, when he was born less than three years ago, but Emily and Amelia haven’t aged? Why is Funky suddenly over 65 and Skyler, born in 2013, is still sitting on Santa’s lap and baby talking?

The time pool reunion arc of 2015 DIDN’T have a date or year attached. And that was a much smarter take in my humble but correct opinion. Because it wasn’t clear an entire seven years had passed since the last one. (And a 37 year reunion seems really weird)

But Batiuk couldn’t resist slapping a big fat 50 on this one. Despite only MONTHS before presenting them as all in high school in 1980!

And you know what. I’m here for it. I’m here for all of it. I’m cracking open a cold one, kicking back, and watching this train wreck. Because I have such a great bunch of people to do it with. Because it genuinely brings me joy.

Don’t let Batty get you down guys. Just enjoy the screeching, burning, twisted mess. Are you ready for a 50th reunion of “Senior Discoveries” ? Are you ready for “exploring the honesty beneath such a gathering’s initial artifice”?

Are you ready?

60 Comments

Filed under Son of Stuck Funky

60 responses to “Bowling for Soup

  1. Epicus Doomus

    Do people really attend class reunions at their old high schools? Because around here, they’re typically held at banquet halls, preferably ones located near or adjacent to hotels, with the idea being that everyone can get a decent group rate on a room where they can sleep it off and/or re-kindle those old flames, if you get my drift.

    A few years ago (never you mind how many) my class held its 30th reunion. The original plan was to hold it in a pretty nice picnic grove not too far from our ol’ alma mater. Casual, outside, definitely more my speed for sure. I was seriously considering going, but then it turned out that one of the women on the reunion committee (none of whom I remembered ever speaking to or interacting with at all back in the day) had some sort of condition where she couldn’t be exposed to sunlight, or even significant shade, apparently. So they scrapped the picnic idea and held it at a snobby banquet hall, way the hell down the shore (this is New Jerseyese for “at a southerly location near the ocean”), which would necessitate a solid 90-plus minute car ride, which would necessitate a costly hotel room, on top of the $150 reunion ticket itself. So including my “plus-one”, it’d have cost me a solid $500-600, and quite frankly, I didn’t think flaunting my post-high school weight loss in front of a bunch of old classmates who barely remembered me was worth that much.

    That said, if they had held it at our old high school, there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell that I’d have gone, as on my last day of high school I vowed to never set foot in that building again. So I don’t relate to today’s strip at all. I figured they’d just hold it at Montoni’s, because, well, you know.

    • billytheskink

      My last high school reunion took place the weekend of the homecoming football game, and there was a sort-of pre-reunion with free hamburgers and a class reunion banner out at the football stadium the night before the main reunion. The actual reunion, though, was held in the banquet room of a nearby Mexican restaurant. It drew about 4 times as many members of my graduating class as the football game get-together.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Do people really attend class reunions at their old high schools?

      Maybe, if the reunion was was cheap as hell, and your hometown was a craphole like Westview that wouldn’t have any proper social venues.

      The bigger problem here is that the school building these kids went to was torn down and replaced. So there’s zero nostalgia appeal to them visiting the place. Still, it’s a better choice than Montoni’s.

  2. The Duck of Death

    I…. I’m sorry, I can barely find the focus to critique today’s strip, because I’m so focused on Crazy Harry “going commando” in the 2007 strip. That’s a mental image I wish TB had never forced on me Especially since Harry seems to think it’ll help him get in good with the construction guys. *Shudder*

    • Anonymous Sparrow

      It’s probably nearer to Sgt. Fury on a First Attack Squad mission than to a pantyless Naomi in “The Wolf of Wall Street”…though come to think of it, old Nick Fury did get his shirt ripped a lot in World War II…

      Wah-hoo to you, Reb Ralston!

  3. none

    Just wanted to mention that the WP article has more than 200 responses at present. Sometime in the last 24 hours it shot up dramatically.

    Most of the posts were to blankly ask why the paper didn’t carry the strip*, but others were generally positive about it, and few even went so far to praise its artistry and writing. No, there was no specific detail about it, of course, but these people apparently and actually do exist.

    *Perhaps this indicates the collective age of the people who are bothering to comment, as anyone who has the desire to see the strip and a modicum of Internet knowledge can easily find it.

    Sadly, the initial wave of well deserved criticism for the strip did not continue and has shuffled to the bottom where nobody will look.

    • Y. Knott

      Hmmm….are all the positive comments coming from the exact same IP address, coincidentally located somewhere in Ohio?

      • be ware of eve hill

        Especially these two.
        I have loved this strip for years but it is so hard to find! Perhaps Mr Batiuk has some published collections?

        He does. Check Amazon.

      • be ware of eve hill

        And this one.

        I can’t believe I’m getting sobby remembering Lisa’s death. Poignant, beautiful writing.

        Les, is that you?

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          That one also sounds very sarcastic. Lisa was just in the strip last week. Dying hasn’t been much of an obstacle for her.

    • be ware of eve hill

      There appeared to be an increasing number of critical comments since your post. Undoubtedly the reason why the Washington Post decided to close the comments.

      A lot of the positive comments are about how much they love that band director character. You know, the one who went deaf and retired at the beginning of Act III 15 years ago. Sorry, Becky (no fans for you).

      It’s bizarre. It never ceases to amaze me how Batiuk can get the masses who barely know his work to drink the cool-aid and praise him.

      My favorite comment:
      Well, I think this is a swell article about a good human being. Scott gets to do what he loves. At least he inspired those of us who never got to do that. You gotta give him that. Thanks Scott.

      Scott Batiuk. Take a bow. 🤣

  4. William Thompson

    What would it take to make this funny? Maybe the Winkerbleats could discover that this isn’t heir fiftieth graduation anniversary after all; it’s the forty-nineth and they didn’t realize it because they and the planners all flunked math? Or that any of the students they knew and liked decided not to show up?

  5. billytheskink

    TB’s fractured-beyond-repair timelines wouldn’t bother me in the least if he didn’t continually demand that we all take this strip so seriously. You can’t puff your work up on the grounds that you have aged your characters in realistic way that is unique to the medium and then turn around and call us all “beady-eyed nitpickers” when we notice you aren’t actually bothered with continuity at all and play fast-and-loose with the timeline when it suits you (like one would do in a *gasp* gag-a-day strip).

    • Epicus Doomus

      Exactly. As hard as it may be to believe, somewhere out there exists a “real” FW reader who is just totally baffled by this 50th reunion nonsense, and wondering how and why Funky suddenly aged another 12-13 years overnight. I don’t believe it’s all that nitpicky to point out that Funky and Holly CAN’T be 67-68 years old, it simply isn’t possible. As CBH pointed out above, there was no reason to label this as a specific reunion, but he felt like blowing his 50th anniversary horn (after basically ignoring it at the time) so continuity be damned.

      • Yeah, this bogus 50th anniversary has to be Batdick congratulating himself for the 50th anniversary of the strip.

        A couple of quotes I love from this evening’s commentary:

        CBH: “my humble but correct opinion.” Preach it!

        ED: “…on my last day of high school I vowed to never set foot in that building again.” Same. My last day of HS was my best. No nostalgia whatsoever.

        • Bad wolf

          How hard would it have been to make it a 50th anniversary of Montoni’s founding, or some such? At least we wouldn’t all be scratching our heads

      • The Duck of Death

        Epicus, I’m not 100% sure there are “real” readers baffled by the Möbius-strip timelines. I suspect that, by definition, “real,” unironic FW readers are people who won’t notice or care about continuity or timelines.

        Anyone who DOES notice them would have long ago quit reading the strip.

    • Hitorque

      I’d happily accept messed up timelines and broken continuity and sloppy retcons IF IT MEANT WE’D GET SOME INTERESTING STORIES!! Batiuk just needs to go all out with it…

  6. RudimentaryLathe?

    Holly was a lot more likeable and interesting when she was a bimbo and I’m not sure how to feel about that.
    Bowling For Soup…now that’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time….

    • Mela

      Bowling For Soup is a fun band, and or course they perform this strip’s unofficial theme song…

      • Mela

        Good Lord, this is what happens when I try to post way too late in the evening, scroll too fast and don’t see that of course, you already posted the BFS song. Sorry CBH and everyone-dunce cap for me today. Bowling For Soup kicks ass, though!

        • RudimentaryLathe?

          They are pretty awesome 😎 The “Phineas and Ferb” theme alone probably has a greater impact than 50 years of this strip.

          • billytheskink

            Heck, their ESPN College World Series coverage theme song “(Ready or not) Omaha, Nebraska” alone probably has had a greater impact than 50 years of this strip…

  7. All due love and respect to the Comics Curmudgeon, where your genial host first was exposed to comics snark…but we all know who the Washington Compost shoulda reached out to for a take on Funky’s 50th…

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Batiuk is using CC as a straw critic. CC rarely talks about FW anymore, and isn’t particularly vicious when he does. And as the Twitterer notes, the article didn’t even get a comment from Josh.

      SOSF is the real omission here. We’re not as relevant as CC, but we’re more focused on FW. Few comic strips have a custom snarking community devoted to them, like Mary Worth and Gil Thorp do. SOSF is relevant for that reason alone. Especially considering how long we’ve been at it, how much effort goes into it, and how any readers take part every day.

      The article also doesn’t mention the CK comment section, which is a daily pile of vitriol that makes us look like a church picnic. Or TVTropes, whose coverage of the strip is rather negative despite the wiki’s policy against editors using a property’s page to complain about it.

      Batiuk extensively uses straw critics in his stories, and is a gigantic straw critic himself. And he has the nerve to say criticism doesn’t bother him. If it didn’t bother him, he’d have no problem acknowledging our existence.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        That should say how MANY readers take part each day… oops… awkward typo…

      • The Duck of Death

        Agree with all of that, and I’ll add: He’s not only his own straw critic, he’s his own strict rule-maker, so he can be a heroic rule-breaker.

        He makes up all kinds of stupid rules that never existed, then breaks them. He makes up precedents that also never existed, then breaks them. In the process, he displays an utter ignorance and contempt for the great artists and strips that had already existed for many decades before he even picked up a pen. And he thinks his audience is equally ignorant.

        • Banana Jr. 6000

          Tom Batiuk has built an entire straw ecosystem for himself. He’s got straw critics which he’s straw aloof about; straw tragedies with straw characters which have straw impacts on their straw lives in straw stories; straw rules he’s a straw rebel about; and above all, his legion of straw fans who see it all the way he does. All of which he handles with straw humility.

          Even his comic book fandom is straw. Millions of people legitimately enjoy comic books for lots of different reasons, but Batiuk’s own fandom doesn’t overlap with any part of that. He doesn’t get what people enjoy about the creation, reading, collecting, or culture of comic books – despite all those things being constant topics in the strip. It’s actually kind of amazing that he misses the mark so comprehensively.

          • Anonymous Sparrow

            Strawman should join forces with the Beatles’s Nowhere Man and the Kinks’s Plastic Man sometime. Perhaps when they say “Westview” simultaneously they bring forth the Well-Respected Man, much as the Forever People did Infinity-Man.

        • none

          Given the vacuous support the strip has from the WP comments, though, that assumption of the audience’s ignorance would seem valid.

          “If you don’t like it, don’t read it.” Everything is always dismissed with a hand wave.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            And no one can ever defend the strip. No one can say why they like it. No one ever says they enjoy the comic book stories, or they like a certain character, or that a certain story touched them, or can name a memorable moment.

            My guess is that all its “fans” are well over age 70 and read it out of inertia from before 2007. I don’t think they’re all Batiuk socks, but they might be friends of his, like Tony Isabella. Batiuk’s writing is so atrocious I think he’d immediately give himself away if he tried.

          • ComicBookHarriet

            The best come back to that is, “I enjoy not liking it.”

            Batiuk was never going to mention us for the simple reason that he and/or his syndicate took some minor legal action against us several years ago. No matter what his current feelings on us and our commentary, mentioning us isn’t worth the can-of-worms potential.

            Also Curmudgeon is the tip of the iceberg AND the gateway drug for comic strip commentary. The way the article was structured, it was obviously an adapted interview. It’s possible the interviewer brought up CC. A click over there is a nice, breezy little introduction to what comic snark is all about.

            Clicking here on the wrong day could just be baffling. Why would anyone ever write a Haiku about a continuity error?

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            Clicking here on the wrong day could just be baffling.

            Someone at CC mentioned “The Unbearable Horniness of 9 Chickweed Lane,” a brief and potent essay that explains why that comic strip is so vile.

            This kind of essay would be difficult to write about Funky Winkerbean, because it’s hard to briefly explain what’s so distasteful about it. It’s banal, repetitive, smug, self-important, self-indulgent, unlikeable, overdramatic, under-plotted, poorly written, full of clones, relies on cheap bathos, trivializes every subject it touches, and thinks it’s a lot more relevant than it is. But all of that seems like reason to ignore it, not to hate or mock it.

            Which is why what SOSF does is so important. You need the daily analysis to put its awfulness in context. Each strip is rarely offensive by itself. Today’s strip seems perfectly innocuous if you don’t know how much of its own history it’s ignoring, or how much time the author spends writing blog posts about his superior grasp of history.

          • The Duck of Death

            “If you don’t like it, don’t read it” just gets to me. If that were the standard, then there would be no critiques ever of any artistic endeavor. And you couldn’t critique a place, a culture, a religion. “If you don’t like Albuquerque, you’re not allowed to say so. Just keep your mouth shut and don’t live there.” “If you think the Centerville Sentinel is publishing lies, just shush up and stop reading it.”

            My dear nonironic FW readers, I will keep reading FW, and I will keep critiquing it, so you may continue clutching your pearls and swooning onto your fainting couches as you deem necessary.

      • Rusty Shackleford

        Agreed. CC is more humorous towards the strips it features and is rarely critical.

  8. sorialpromise

    Just some odds and ends…
    1. It is my 50th year reunion. I have never been before to any other reunions. I have been talking myself out of going. (Too cheap to spend $60.) I still could possibly go. Time will tell. But I have thought about what I would do different if I was that age again but know what I know now. I would be friendlier. Meet more people. (The school, just outside of Gladstone Missouri had about 2,000 students.) I think I would take Spanish classes and more Math. I would friendship date more. But mostly, I would hang with my Mom and Dad more. These were pretty rough years between me and them. I remember being grounded the entire month of February. Becoming a Christian changed that behavior, but that wasn’t until after I graduated. My core friends were just perfect. Every day at school was fun and an adventure. Often times, in the Spring, we skipped school and played golf in Excelsior Springs and in Liberty. For a senior trip, 12 of us drove down to Galveston Texas and I got burnt to a crisp. (Some record-breaking skin peels but I could not lower my arms during graduation. Back slaps were murder!) But we did graduate, and time moved on. I have had so many better years since then.
    2. Whenever Eve Hill with Mr. bwoeh, and hitorque ever come back to Kansas City, it is my treat at Rosedale’s BBQ. (More than likely, I will follow the example of Mr. bwoeh, and let Eve choose. We have seen Eve angry on this website, it ain’t pretty. Although she is. (Yes, in regard to yesterday’s question, my wife works at the nursing home on Sobbie. Again, such a small world.) We can all toast CBH! She is the most Stuck Funky of all of us at SOSF.
    3. Speaking of CBH, it is already time for the fourth installment of Les and Funky’s golf week:

    Funky day 4:
    Panel 1: In horror, they watch the ball heading towards one girl.
    Panel 2: Funky yells, “Fore” at the top of his lungs.
    Panel 3: As Funky is yelling, Les smirks, “Doesn’t he know, triplets come in threes?”

    • ComicBookHarriet

      Will the golf ball hit the triplet twins! Will Les EVER stop smirking!? Will the Kansas City Royals ever go back to the World Series!!

      Join us tomorrow to find out!

      • sorialpromise

        You are a joy!

        The Outland comic for August 25, 1991 says that today is the birthday for Opus Penguin!
        Happy birthday to Opus! 🐧🎂🍧🧁

      • Y. Knott

        An uncanny simulation of a week with Tom Batiuk! And how, *how*, will it all tie into comic books? I’m on tenterhooks!

    • be ware of eve hill

      1.
      Thanks for sharing those memories.

      Please keep us posted about the reunion. I’m curious to see what you decide. What does Mrs. sorialpromise think?

      2.
      Whenever Eve Hill with Mr. bwoeh, and hitorque ever come back to Kansas City, it is my treat at Rosedale’s BBQ.
      🤗👍 You never know.

      More than likely, I will follow the example of Mr. bwoeh, and let Eve choose.
      Not when it comes to food. I’ve learned to get out of his way and “let the wookie win”.

      A toast to CBH and we’ll send her a bottle of Rosedale BBQ sauce.

      3.
      Those gals must be standing in the middle of the fairway because there’s no way Les’s drives are anything but true. He has a low handicap and plays from the pro tees. Oh, wait a minute. Batty is not writing this, you are. Never mind. Carry on.

      Cheers

      • sorialpromise

        Mrs SP, like me has never been to one of my reunions. She sees no reason to start now.
        I think the Wookie would like Rosedales.
        I take it as a compliment that you can tell the difference between my writing and Batty’s!
        I blew my drink out my nose, when said “All of Les’s drives are straight and true!”

  9. Andrew

    If this is Tom’s big she-bang for his strip being 50 years old, the fact we’re just jumping into the reunion itself as Funky & Holly prep to go just goes to show how the strip’s less and less intricate these days. Hasn’t this strip had multiple weeks of “prep” story where the gang stumbles around arranging the reunion or hoping they find a venue that isn’t the high school, then haphazardly have a good time anyway?

    Despite better judgement, can’t help but assume Tom has a kooky plan to mark the milestone of this reunion and it being worth tearing his continuity to shreds, but he’s already done “the teenage gang time travel to meet their future selves” so that shark’s been jumped. So this’ll be about as eventful as the anniversary arc of a few flashback strips as Funky had his birthday at Montinis I guess.

    (I can still hold out for Holtron turning into the computer from I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream and taking the leads prisoner for eternal torment, I suppose.)

    • Rusty Shackleford

      It’s all so dumb. He could have started the year with a reunion prep story and then held the actual reunion on the 50th anniversary of the strip back in March.

      My dad is on the reunion committee for his high school and they have never had it at the school (which is a new building). Does anyone do this?

      I have been back to my old high school and the university I attended for 6 years. In both cases, it felt like I never attended either school. I thought I would have felt something, but I didn’t, and that was surprising.

      Tom really doesn’t know how to write a story.

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      Good point. This reunion was never “coming” or “looming”, was it? It popped up out of nowhere.

      This reunion wasn’t alluded to in Les/Funky’s tennis conversation that touched on the old swimming pool/diving board and Les’ failures there. Even though it ended with Les declaring “memory lane is closed.”. It would also have been a perfect excuse for Harry to “find” undiscovered Lisa tapes, but it was never mentioned there either.

  10. Hitorque

    1. So Cindye Sommerse-Winkerbeane-Jarre is officially the most desired and fuckable 68-year-old woman since what, Helen Mirren I guess?

    1a. It was already fucking weird when Hollywood leading man Masone Jarre (who mind you, had an almost infinite selection of 10+++ women to choose from) decided to marry some twice-divorced stranger 15 years his senior who had a metric ton of emotional baggage… But TWENTY-FIVE years his senior?? That’s just not possible…

    2. Am I the only one who remembers that Cindye personally took it upon herself to organize and micromanage every planning detail of every reunion?? (“Because with great popularity comes great responsibility!” Or some such bullshit…) But so far we haven’t even heard her name?

    2a. And yes, I have no doubt that Cindye will be front and center at the reunion still looking like she’s 30 with her trophy husband in tow… And she’ll probably use the occasion to announce that she’s pregnant because Batiuk logic…

    3. So if Lester is 68 years old, his daughter Summer has to be around 40 now, right? How is she still in college? And that means St. Lisa died what, 35 years ago?? Her ass should have been long forgotten by now, or at least displaced by a more recent local tragic death due to cancer…

    3a. If Funkenstoner is 68, how old is Morton? Hell for that matter how old is The Big Dink?

    • Bad wolf

      The closest May-December pairing to Mason and Cindy i can remember is Francesca Annis and Ralph Fiennes, who were together from she at 50 to 61 while he 33 to 44.

      But for real longevity of attractiveness i always go back to Jane Seymour, maybe 71 today.

  11. The Dreamer

    I’m waiting for Cindy to show up. At the 50 year reunion, standing with all her old geezer classmates, still looking 25:years old with her great body and younger movie star boyfriend Mason Jarr…..

    • Banana Jr. 6000

      If Cindy is really that old, then her relationship with Mason Jarr reaches new levels of creepy. She first met him in 2015, when she would have been 61(!). As naive as Mason was, he was probably much younger than 33 when Cindy bullied him into submission. To say nothing of her subsequent jealousy and need to control him. Ick.

  12. ComicTrek

    I think Holly *definitely* got one of the worst Act III re-characterization/transformations. But instead of losing my mind over that, or the time jumping, or the clear evidence of Bull/Les friendship as shown above, I’d like to acknowledge the super encouraging post!

    You’re right. It’s awesome being here! We snark and all that, but really it’s because we CARE, darn it. Sure, Mr. Batiuk can do what he wants. That doesn’t mean he’s still good at it. Or has a non-arrogant attitude about it.

    But we can handle it. We have each other! So let it come. Even if there’s another time pool. Bring it on!

    • Rusty Shackleford

      Yeah, why did he have to turn Holly into a doughy hausfrau? Why couldn’t she remain bubbly and bimboey?

      Long after graduation, I ran into two former majorettes. One did put on weight while the other looked better than ever and did fitness contests ( though the knees and hands give the age away). Both however, kept their outgoing personalities which is probably why they enjoyed being majorettes in the first place.

      PS: not criticizing anyone for gaining weight or looking older as both of those qualities apply to me too. The difference is that unlike the characters in this strip, I try to enjoy life as much as possible. I wouldn’t spend 5 minutes with these ungrateful, complaining idiots.

      • Banana Jr. 6000

        Tom Batiuk doesn’t know any type of woman other than “doughy hausfrau” or “perpetual high school queen bee.” And Holly can’t be that because Cindy is. Rules of high school, you know.

        • The Duck of Death

          BJr6K, you should know by now that there are only four modes of existence for women: 1. Schlumpy, defeated hausfrau; 2. Untouchable va-va-voom hottie; 3. Adoring handmaiden to Les; or 4. “Appear in 3 panels a year, in the background.”

          I’m excluding Dead St. Lisa, because she’s an edge case, like the Virgin Mary to Catholics. Woman, or divine being? I’ll leave that for you to ponder.

          Once upon a time, in Act I, there was a character I interpreted as a butch lesbian. Her name escapes me right now. She was physically powerful and “masculine,” outgoing and happy and confident. Of course, she was the butt of jokes because a woman is nothing but a joke if she’s not sufficiently appealing to a man’s tastes, hahaha.

          • Banana Jr. 6000

            1. Schlumpy, defeated hausfrau; 2. Untouchable va-va-voom hottie; 3. Adoring handmaiden to Les; or 4. “Appear in 3 panels a year, in the background.”

            Cayla is all four.

          • Anonymous Sparrow

            I believe you’re referring to Wicked Wanda. How many people have apologized to her since Les made it eighteen?

  13. The Merry Pookster

    I’m old…. and live 1600 miles from my old HS. So for the 50th reunion, I went to my patio bar, drank some expensive bourbon and had a great time

  14. Banana Jr. 6000

    The new and improved Battyblog (because it’s not really the Funkyblog anymore) shows a “back to school guide” from 1972. It’s honestly pretty cute, or it would be if the scan quality was good enough to be legible. There’s an accompanying guide for teachers that will probably be the next blog post. You can probably figure the URL, that’ll let you view it now.

    • be ware of eve hill

      New website. Same old lack of a zoom function on images. You click the image, and it opens on a new page the same exact size.
      🤦‍♀️

      I guess I should be grateful. It removes the background clutter, a.k.a. his blog.