2009 was a busy year in Funky Winkerbean. And by busy I mean overstuffed with a revolting amount of Les Moore. Crammed in everywhere and leaking across entire months. He’s working at Montoni’s, he’s raising a daughter, he’s teaching in school, he’s meeting Cayla, he’s being reintroduced to Susan, he’s writing his grand and noble book on how he nobly and grandly suffered through his wife’s cancer death, his dead ghost wife is watching him make out with other women. Characters like Funky, Dinkle, and even Bull, take up the little time that remains. So, DSH John resumes his spot on the bench. He’s like one of those ultra specific relief pitchers that is only called up to throw knuckleballs to left-handed batters during night games at stadiums with an average humidity over 60%. When comics are at the plate…he comes out.
He gets a Sunday strip in February 2009.
He disappears until another random Sunday strip in May. A strip that is not funny. Nor does it further a plot or develop any characters in a meaningful way. This entire strip is just Batiuk smugly showing off his ‘pretty heady stuff’. Dude, man, I spew factoids from Wikipedia too! You aren’t special!
You want stupid factoids? Here’s some! We learned way earlier in this dive that Crazy was worried that his mother would throw away his old comic books during his honeymoon. And we know that in the future Crazy would have to sell his comics when he loses his job. So it isn’t likely that Crazy’s mother ever got rid of his comics. Also, Crazy’s parents were so negligent that he lived in his own locker in school until moving to The Lighthouse, a home for troubled youth.
So what kind of parents did Crazy have where they made him get rid of Medieval Astronomers, but let him live in his own locker?
In June 2009, Westview celebrates a holiday! Flag Day! A holiday so important that they don’t even bother to close the post office!
I guess Westview has a bigger turnout to their Flag Day celebration than Lake Wobegon did in 1934. I mean, who even celebrates Flag Day? But the story requires a patriotic holiday RIGHT NOW. We missed Memorial Day! We can’t wait for Veteran’s Day. Flag Day it is!
Because Batiuk realized that it was Memorial Day 2008 when he’d last reminded us that Wally Winkerbean was still a big red-white-and-blue, grave shaped mystery box.
By July we’re back in Komix Korner. And DSH breaks his arm patting himself on the back for providing the lost youth of Westview all the valuable lessons and counseling only a guy with a video game console and floor space can offer.
Then on July 6. A very strange weeks begins.
Before we open that door…and see who is on the other side. I wanted to tally up just how well Batiuk had established the Winkerbean/Howard/Blackburn family in the year and a half since Act III began.
John’s appearances-46
Number of appearances with Becky-8
Number of appearances with his kids-6
Number of appearances with no Becky and no kids-35
Becky’s appearances- 49
Number of apperances with her own kids-6
Number of apperances with the band w/o Dinkle-10
Number of apperances with Dinkle-28
Appearances of Wally Jr- 8
Appearances of Rana- 17
What a firm foundation. (/s) With all that background to go off of, I have a very clear picture in my mind how all of these character feel about each other and how their specific character quirks normally interact. (/s) This is the perfect time to throw a wrench into this! (/s)
Sigh.
Son of Stuck Funky 
Yeah. A wrench called “He doesn’t get captured by insurgents so don’t let the doorknob hit you on the ass on your way out.”
“And an adult to talk to who understands them” remains hall-of-fame creepy to me. With DSH and Crazy looking out of the frame at the viewer like they can see us. Just… chilling.
On an unrelated topic giving kids sexually explicit material is a classic way to groom them, I’ve heard.
CBH,
We kinda celebrated Flag Day every year. That was my younger sister’s birthday. So Flag Day and birthday cake 🎂 are strong in my memory. 🕯️ 🎉 🥳
A much better reason to celebrate Flag Day than ‘I Think My Husband Exploded.’
Truer words never spoken.
Thanks CBH for the retrospective, those were some dreadful strips. And guys putting money down to share their thoughts? Yeah that’s realistic.
As for Sunday’s Crankshaft, regular readers—by that I mean readers who get offended by any criticism of the strip—must really be confused today. They surely don’t know anything about The Simpsons.
I’m doing something I’ve wanted to do for a long time: Watch The Phantom Empire!
I saw the whole serial multiple times on the PBS series Matinee at the Bijou, so this is completely free of Tomfluence. So far, it’s great goofy fun! Gene Autry and his crew make it clear in the first scene how seriously they take this cinematic endeavor (ie, not remotely).
It does answer one question I always had: Do the clunky Pizza Monster robots wear metal cowboy hats? INDEED THEY DO! Why do they wear…Let’s just move along.
Highlight is “trick rider” Betsy King Ross. Unanswered question: Is her hair light brown, or blond and super greasy? I’m pretty sure it’s the latter. I wouldn’t want to run my fingers through her hair; my hand might get stuck and then be nibbled on by whatever ecosystem she has going on in there. Girlfriend, you’re a trick rider, go grab some Mane & Tail shampoo! Her acting won’t lead her to worrying if she has to give Les her Best Actress Who Smells Kinda Off Oscar, but her early-teens “Gee whiz, I’m in the movies!” enthusiasm is wonderful. For want of a better word, Betsy is adorbs!
It’s available on Youtube in lengths from 70 minutes (edited to be the bottom half of a B-movie double), or the 3.25 hour complete serial, which is how I’m watching it.
This leaves the last unanswered question: Why does Bats like it? I’m not done watching, but it sure doesn’t seem like it takes itself seriously. Unlike anything else Tom-Tom likes. Pretentious is an art form to him.
Welp, back to working on my time machine. I’m going to 1935 and giving Betsy King Ross a bottle of Alberto VO5.
TEXT:
yeh im in 1935. time travel is great! t food here is gross. liver w/onions, hard pass! lookin for Betsy, VO5 in hand, no luck. may kill hitler while here, idk
Very little information about Betsy King Ross after she left the pictures at the ripe old age of 13. Apparently her father was a horse trainer and that’s where she picked up her skills.
Those fake strips are incredible.
The lead up week to the reveal set to be shown at the end of the post is aggravating in how vague and unhuman it all is. Everyone is acting all depressed and detached as if in the aftermath of having heard some devastating news, only it’s structured to occur beforehand. I think it’s supposed to be interpreted as foreshadowing but there’s nothing being foreshadowed there – everyone is gloomy with no reason to be gloomy, and nothing else is referenced. At least merely showing them catching glances at things tangentially related to Wally would have accomplished this, but he didn’t even bother with that much. I don’t get why TB thought this all worked.
Anyway, what is even bringing me to write anything is this particular line which I find to be the most baffling and offensive out of all content presented today.
Les Moore: “My mother-in-law keeps trying to fix me up with all of her widowed friends.”
Wait. Wait, stop. Stop. What? Excuse me – what? Lisa’s mom. I completely forget off the top of my head, but that person was never named nor visibly seen in the strip and only referenced obliquely, like Les’s parents, right? Lisa Moore’s mom has a specific subset of widowed friends? Widowed friends of whom she is trying to guide into relationships with Les? Les is supposed to have some kind of renown status with his authorship, right?
“By the way, Trudy, have I told you about Les? … yes, true, everyone knows about Les because it was such a very powerful creation about my deceased daughter, but you do realize that it means that Les has been on the market, don’t you? Just like you have been for a few years now. So … what do you think about that, hmmm? … yes, I know that you’re 74 and he’s 53, but just hear me out…”
Yuck. What even was the point of that strip in total, anyway. Everyone there knows who Roberta is. Everyone there was at that trial. Like, if I were friends with one of Casey Antony’s ex-boyfriends, I wouldn’t get into a “crazy ex girlfriend” competition with him.
ps: Crazy’s story should be “my mother in law let me groom her daughter when I was in high school and she was a preteen” anyway, but, that’s just writing.
I feel like that entire strip was just to remind us of The Hentai Trials.
But as a mild correction, Lisa’s parents did show up in the strip, both briefly in Act I and starting again in Act II with Summer’s birth. Their last appearance was right before Lisa’s death, and I don’t think they’ve ever shown up in Act III proper. Even in cases where it would have been appropriate, (Summer’s birthdays, graduation, and sporting events.)
Which still makes them more visible than any other Act I highschoolers parents save Mort Winkerbean.
Uhm…
Wouldn’t Mrs. Crawford’s widowed friends be her age, rather than Les’s, and therefore a little old for him?
Then again their “teeming dates” would most likely be drunk up with time (see *Richard II*) and would save her from more grandchildren, especially those who might be like Darin (whose name, I imagine, like Endora on “Bewitched” with Darren, she deliberately gets wrong) and Summer (we’ll have no Autumn, Spring or Winter*).
*
There is a “Winter Moran” in the *Miracleman* series. She is not the sort of character who makes parenthood seem like a good idea. (Then again, neither is Renesmee Cullen.)
Summer Finn is the heroine of “(500) Days of Summer.”
Autumn Rolfson is the real name of the “Famine” in Apocalypse’s Four Horsemen.
And Spring Byington played a hopeful “December Bride” on television.
Gotta love that even Lisa’s mother thought that Les should just friggin’ move on already.
1. I hope that I am wrong, but I believe we may have 2 more weeks of SDCC Funky style.
2. Who agrees with me that someone of AK group, most likely Jfff, will get a super rare comic for pennies, or more true to form, just have the owner gift it to Jfff when he tells the owner about his mean, old Mom throwing his comics away.
3. My first choice was Marvel’s Fantastic Four #12
But then I realized TB is not really a Marvel fan. He prefers DC, and besides, he already sold Amazing Fantasy #15 for 12¢ last year. So my official choice for this contest is, “Action Comics #254 Superman battles Bizarro.
4. Do you think we will get any appearances from the official Atomik Komix bullpen? Mopey Pete and Min-Dull do not count. Unfortunately, Batton Thomas does count. So does retired Ruby.
I’m gonna guess Flash #121, clearly the most important issue ever.
https://www.comics.org/issue/16274/
Truly, the Holy Grail! TB has proof he has written for a Comic publisher.
Have we ever seen what the roughly 13 year old wrote?
Sadly, although digital copies of the issue can be found easily, they usually only include the actual comic pages, not the ads and letters pages and whatnot. I haven’t been able to find all that online, so I’d have to shell out for a physical copy. 😦
Green Luthor, I hope your weekend went well.
As hard pressed as I am to find out what his young mind wrote, there are limits that I will not cross. Tom Batiuk will never make me spend money on him. As for the issue, I always liked the Trickster. He was different from the Joker, as he was from the Riddler. James Jesse was his own guy. If I remember correctly, he had jet shoes, so he could fly. I loved the play on his name. His only disaster was to be in that awful mess called, “Countdown to Final Crisis”. Total trash that lasted 52 weeks.
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**Spoiler** **Alert**
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At least, Trickster had the good sense to die, and he was not physically used as a human club.
Good night, my friend.
Have we ever seen what the roughly 13 year old wrote?
It might be on the Komix Thoughts blog. I know TB has talked about this defining event in his life, but I’m not sure if he published the whole letter.
BJr 6000
Does he have any kind of a search engine? I have a phobia of being exposed to his meandering and self gratulating writing. I truly admire you for reading his blog. I also believe that the Duck of Death deep dives into his writings. I did read his story about watching Batman 1966 on its pilot night, and that he camped out hours before it premiered. That was scary stuff, and that was only college TB. I am terrified of reading 75 year old TB. Another brave soul I could name, I also think that Be Ware of Eve Hill scavenges deep into TB’s archives. But she is tough. She can handle anything.
Does he have any kind of a search engine?
Yes and no. It exists, but it works about as as well as everything else with his name on it. I’ll try to find it for ya.
Y’know, were I smarter, I would have thought of searching Batiuk’s own blog for the letters page in question. Ah, well.
Anyhoo, as it turns out, yep, you can find it there:
https://tombatiuk.com/komix-thoughts/match-to-flame-120/
I do not come to bury Green Luthor, but to praise him!
Holy Grail, indeed! Compared to the other letters on the page, Young TB is miles ahead of the other letter writers. I think the others are even older in age than Tom, but they waste their time on color errors. Obviously, Carmine Infantino appreciated a more mature letter writer. What a kind action by Mr. Infantino, giving TB what sounds like a portfolio. I am impressed. I am old enough to remember the dribble that appeared in DC letter pages. Infantile comments by letter writers and editors. Dreck. Then Marvel began, and Stan Lee and Jack Kirby sign their names. You add the more mature stories by Lee, Kirby, and Ditko, and DC keeps up Flash’s quality of writing. Neal Adams and Dennis O’Neil begin a true Batman revolution. We see quality art and writing.
Green Luthor, I truly appreciate you finding and posting that letter by TB.
Others have noted the melancholy nature of the teasing of the “big reveal”, and it’s particularly striking as far as how the Winkerbean/Blackburn/Howard household is receptive to the news. No doubt that an event along the lines of “we thought our husband/dad is dead, moved on and got a new husband/dad, only for the old husband/dad to have been alive all along” is going to be hard to take; relief and joy mixed with senses of sadness and betrayal, the burden of knowing that the old life one tried to move on from is back but can never truly be restored. It’s a good and bad thing, and just something that has to be handled with care, but not impossible to fully acclimate to.
Yet this melancholy mood that introduces us into the story doesn’t quite gel with the extent of the expected emotions. Funky almost forgets he even has the job of picking up his long-thought-lost cousin, Les cracks a pompous joke and immediately asks after John before anyone else, thus DSJ himself gets a smidge more attention than Becky as we see them both preparing and grappling with the matter, and then Rana, the one of the two kids who has the most, longstanding close bond with her first adoptive father, simply hides away and doesn’t want to be there when the doorbell rings.
Knowing how this sort of ends, all this dreariness without even a speck of excitement that Wally isn’t dead (AGAIN, still can’t believe we have two nickels for this happening twice) just seems to speak to the authorial intent that this is a tragic story, that the idea you can’t go home again when you’re presumed dead for years is just the norm, and everyone is sad because what’s lost can’t be restored. But Tom Hanks didn’t get the girl at the end of Castaway just because he was marooned for four years, it was because their relationship only just missed the proposal stage and in four years she moved on to motherhood in a family he was never involved in. Wally was in this relation ship for years, got married, been through the POW son and dance already, adopted and had his son named and shared to him remotely when he was bull-honkey’ed back to the warfront again. A central part of their lives that they may’ve thought gone for a decade, but still deserves as much welcome and help in rehabilitation they can…
…Yet in a question I’m sure CBH will ask by the end of this recap, just “how” much did Becky and her children ever interact with Wally again after this reunion?
Well, late Act III Wally wound up being surprised that his own adopted daughter was going to the same college he was.
So…
Ah, Rana re-embracing her heritage and wearing hijabs is something I don’t recall. Looking back at the SoSF Act III summary, they introduced that in this this exact sequence too, as abrupt as her reunion with Wally. At least she calls here “Dad” without qualifiers.
Good analysis. What stands out to me is that Batiuk tries to tell such emotionally complex stories, but he has so much trouble depicting concepts like “happy”, “sad”, and “angry.”
And as you point out, he has just as much trouble with basic human relationships. And how people react to major life events. Everyone was so indifferent to their lover/family member/friend Wally after he was a prisoner for a decade. It’s as if Batiuk can’t make his characters smirk and eyeroll, he doesn’t know what to do with them.
Exactly right. Batiuk has a lot of trouble understanding why people do what they do because he’s really rather self-contained. As the non-stop drum beat of feeling defeated and misunderstood by a cruel and uncaring world reminds us, he understands his own emotions just fine but other people…..their behaviour always mystifies him.
Has Comic Book Guy ever been portrayed as a lech on The Simpsons? Did Batiuk forget Comic Book Guy is married to Kumiko?
Maybe Batiuk is seeking revenge because The Simpsons used Funky Winkerbean as a subpar parade float.
I appreciate Dan Davis’s attempt at drawing Comic Book Guy, but he drew his beard differently from the cartoon, making it seem more realistic but off-character.
The only romance I can think of with Comic Book Buy is a very short one with Edna Krabappel, which didn’t last became they were too different (one was Marvel, one was DC).
Somebody always makes the dough while somebody else gets the glory.
Or as Portia might say if *The Merchant of Venice* were about hockey:
“Which is the Great One here, and which Marty McSorley?”
There was at least one other relationship. Comic Book Guy had a romantic fling which is permanently seared into my memory. Comic Book Guy had relations with Agnes Skinner, but the age difference is not why I remember it. In that episode, Seymour battled Comic Book Guy in a Michelle Pfeiffer Catwoman suit, complete with boobies.
Over the weekend, I saw “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” again, and waited for the revelation that Mr. Vargas, the science teacher, was married to Lana Clarkson, a woman as beautiful as he was homely.
(Phil Spector, you will not be resurrected, although Bobby Dylan will come home.)
Clearly, the moral is that you should always beware the nerdy ones, or, in the case of Jeff Albertson, the obnoxious ones.
Still waters run deep…
Maybe Batiuk is seeking revenge because The Simpsons used Funky Winkerbean as a subpar parade float
Please. That was 30 years ago, what type of obsessive weirdo carries grudges that long? Does he hope his high school bullies get TBI and die of–
Oh. Right.
Carry on!
Maybe Batiuk is seeking revenge because The Simpsons used Funky Winkerbean as a subpar parade float.
In the Comics Culture interview, Batiuk said he liked it. He also acted like it was a compliment, missing the entire point of the joke. It’s anyone’s guess whether he was being dishonest, trying to spin a bad situation, or if he’s honestly that oblivious.
You raise an excellent point. Batiuk could be that oblivious.
I’ve watched almost all of The Simpsons episodes since it started. I had forgotten about the Funky Winkerbean cameo until it was mentioned in this discussion. How many readers in this discussion remembered it off-hand before viewing the clip? What are the odds the Comics Culture interviewer remembered it while “creating interview questions”?
I can’t remember who shared the clip, but wouldn’t someone who snarks about Funky Winkerbean be more likely to remember that episode appearance than an actual FW fan? (An FW fan. 🤣)
As we have said, Batiuk likes to control his interviews. Possibly scripting the questions. He’s probably patting himself on the back over that episode.
Batiuk: Funky Winkerbean is so famous it has appeared on The Simpsons. Just like American Presidents and the Rolling Stones. *smirk*
Could Comic Book Guy’s appearance on Sunday be Batiuk repaying the favor in a ham-fisted manner?
I made a big post about the Comics Culture interview earlier this year. The FW joke was a minor note in a rarely-seen episode. It was in “Homer Vs Dignity”, which is one of the most despised Simpsons episodes and contains an offensive joke, so it probably doesn’t re-air very much.
It was the kind of astute pop-culture observation the Simpsons is good at: that licensed cartoon characters in parade balloons are lame as hell. I think this is less true now; there was a famous Super Bowl commercial where Charlie Brown and Stewie Griffin parade balloons duked it out for a Coke. Which is another problem: that episode is now 20 years old. So it’s even more inexplicable that Batiuk felt the need to address it.
If Tom Batiuk wants to respond to ancient criticism, he can pick up the red phone and talk to Tim Negoda. (Hey, if Lisa can make phone calls from the afterlife…)
Since he has no real idea what motivates other people, he doesn’t get that Marge’s liking the strip emphasizes just how lame and stupid parade balloons actually are.
You must not remember the early episodes when he was desperately searching for nude pics of Captain Janeway (early days of the internet)…
No, but I do remember watching a really old Simpsons episode on FXX the other day and thinking, “This is so much better than the new episodes.”
Dun dun duhhhhhnnn!
Anxious to see the next blog post. I can’t recall why Becky chose to stay with DSH – for the kids or a legal obligation?
Reading these deep dives when you’re old and forgetful can feel like experiencing it for the first time.
DSH John: Becky, is that a trombone or are you just happy to see me?
Also as if tracing/”extremely precise reference” can’t get any more blatant in Crankshaft, Davis seems to have gone as far today as illustrating a Darth Vader cosplay using the reference of one of the oldest press photos available, taken during filming of the original Star Wars.
This sort of thing is how antics get noticed even by people who don’t have a photographic memory of Mason Jarr panels
The use of copyrighted characters is so blatant and so unnecessary, that I’m starting to wonder: is Tom Batiuk TRYING to get sued? Maybe he doesn’t want to do this shit anymore, and his ego won’t let him simply retire. And this is his idea of a “Springtime For Hitler” plot that will get the strip cancelled.
Actually, I don’t want it cancelled, I want it to continue under a new Jules Rivera type cartoonist. Then Batty can wake up every day and see his precious characters getting reimagined in the worst way possible.
Legally this probably can’t happen, but one can dream!
I think Jules Rivera would be a great fit for the Funkyverse. She’s a terrible fit for Mark Trail.
Jules Rivera was an odd choice for Mark Trail. She’s taken a silly, campy approach which has upset a lot of fans.
I enjoy the The Daily Trail blog. @georgekatkins criticizes Jules Rivera all the time but gives credit when it’s due.
I do not like what she has done to MT, but I’m sure I will love her take on Crankshaft.
Rivera’s snark, modernity, and self-awareness ruins a lot of Mark Trail’s rustic charm. But snark, modernity, and self-awareness are exactly what the Funkyverse needs.
Nah, I doubt anyone is going to sue over something like this, not even the normally overly-litigious Disney. He’s not using the characters, just the designs, so it would fall under a trademark dispute, and Batiuk could very reasonably argue he’s not trying to claim any kind of ownership or association or anything over them, he’s just using them as typical “background flavor” for a comic convention.
(Much the same way The Simpsons could show a Funky Winkerbean balloon without Batiuk’s approval, or Batiuk himself can have Skunky John wear a shirt with the Batman logo or have other merchandise of trademarked characters in the store. It just wouldn’t be a winnable case, and not worth the effort anyone would have to put in to even file it.)
A one off here and there won’t be a big deal. A lawsuit would only come if there were frequent appearances in the strip.
The creators of South Park did an interview where they mentioned that they never objected to short clips being copied and posted because it was great advertising for them. Of course you do have to draw a line somewhere and then enforce your rights if that boundary is crossed. The lawyers obviously want you to be strict and prohibit all sharing/ copying as it makes their job easier, but that isn’t realistic these days.
It is absolutely worth the effort, because you have to defend your intellectual property, or it can be ruled public domain. It’s why Disney (and any big media company) is so litigous about such things, even though such a ruling is unlikely to happen.
Yeah, an occasional appearance is incidental enough to be harmless. But Batiuk does this constantly. In two days he’s used Spiderman, Scarlet Witch, Quicksilver, a Simpsons character, the DC logo, the Batman logo, the Wonder Woman logo, the Flash logo, Darth Vader, and dialogue referencing Popeye. Probably a little excessive. I don’t think the real Comic-Con is this festooned in logos.
Oh, that didn’t work out too well for Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom, did it?
“Hitler” might not have run forever, but it outlasted the theatrical version of “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” (poster on Max’s wall, if you look closely).
Vivent Merricat et Constance! Et leur pauvre Oncle Julian!
Anonymous Sparrow,
I had not read the book or seen the film, so I had to look up the title. Somehow, it directed me to “L’insoumis (1964)”. Now I have 2 films to watch, or more likely will read “We Have Always Lived in the Castle” and watch L’insoumis. I understand it also goes by “the Unvanquished”. You would know if either is in English. (any French I quote, is pilfered from Google. It still makes a classy ending.) I guess that makes me a faux Francophile.
Regardless, I leave you…
Non, je ne regrette rien.
SP:
Now you’re enlightening me!
I know a fair amount about Alain Delon’s film career, but “L’Insoumis” was a new one on me. I shall have to investigate it, because the Algerian War of 1954-62 is a fascinating subject, and one the French find trouble addressing in the arts. (There’s a nice 1980s picture called “L’Honneur du Capitaine,” but I don’t think it found much of an audience.)
F0r Delon at his best, watch “The Leopard,” “Rocco and His Brothers,” “Purple Noon” (a much better take on *The Talented Mr. Ripley* than Anthony Minghella’s 1999 version) and “Le Cercle Rouge.”
I haven’t seen the film of *We Have Always Lived in the Castle,* but I can recommend “The Haunting,” Robert Wise’s 1963 version of Shirley Jackson’s 1959 novel, *The Haunting of Hill House.*
Your nod to Piaf makes it clear that I need to revisit my CDs of chansons francaises.
Or at least hear Martha Wainwright’s French record.
And then her cover of Pink Floyd’s “See Emily Play.”
And now Martha Wainwright is on my list.
I hope to find and stream “the Unvanquished”. I doubt I will find it under its French title. My most common reference to Delon’s career is Dean Martin’s “Texas Across the River”. I am sure it paid off many of his debts. I believe Joey Bishop did capture all the nuance of Native American acting.🤩
Alain Delon, Toshiro Mifune and Charles Bronson are in a 1971 Western called “Red Sun.” Joining them is Ursula Andress.
C’est vrai, Messieurs et Mesdames!
Ohhh! “Red Sun!” I love that movie. To be honest, when I watch it, I am not looking for Mr. Delon. Ursula Andress is my all time favorite actress. She is perfection in whatever film she is in. I got in trouble when my oldest brother ratted me out because I cut pictures out of magazines, prominently Ursula from “Casino Royale.” I liked Ursula so much that I watched “the Sensuous Nurse” in the original Italian. I understood the film like I was a native from Italy. I am going to have to take a cold shower now, thanks to you!
Ursule, belle constellation !
SP:
Ursula Andress was John Derek’s second wife. His third was Linda Evans of “The Big Valley” and “Dynasty” fame, and his fourth was Bo Derek.
Pati Behrs, his first wife, was the great-niece of Leo Tolstoy.
(Bozhe moi, indeed, Colossus!)
This is probably going to feel like a rhetorical question, but since the only stupid question is the unasked one…
Are you familiar with “The Tenth Victim,” a 1965 film featuring Andress and Marcello Mastroianni? It began life as a Robert Sheckley short story called “Seventh Victim” (Sheckley is the father of Alisa Kwitney, a former DC editor who’s a very good author in her own right) and the 1950s science-fiction radio program “X Minus One” adapted it in 1957.
Regardless of whether life’s a trippy thing, Frank and Nancy, 1960s movies certainly were!
AS,
I am not familiar with “the Tenth Victim.” I will find how I can stream it.
Are you aware that Jack Palance is also in “the Sensuous Nurse.” He has the uncanny ability to always occupy his fingers while on the phone. His showdown in “Shane” with Alan Ladd is one of the greatest western scenes of all time. And it has Edgar Buchanan, one of my personal favorites. To me, he is near the perfection of Ursula Andress. I just cannot take my eyes off of him in any show I find him.
Les yeux voient ce que le coeur désire.
SP:
Jack Palance’s Wilson is a formidable antagonist (so much so that the fact that he enters pulling in a horse rather than riding it makes its own sense), yet I prefer the source material for “Shane” to the 1953 George Stevens film.
Jack Schaefer’s book is an essentially small story, and the movie just screams bigness. It reminds me of why Walter Kerr disliked “The Day of the Locust,” feeling that “a good modest story is lost beneath the trappings of an opera.”
In contrast, while “High Noon” tells a good, modest story, the audience gradually begins to realize just how big its focus is.
Edgar Buchanan is in Fritz Lang’s other movie with Glenn Ford and Gloria Grahame (“Human Desire,” derived from Emile Zola’s *Bête Humaine*; “The Big Heat” is much better known). I hope to see him one day in “Ride the High Country.”
“Sous le pont Mirabeau coule la Seine…”
AS,
There is so much I could say about “Ride the High Country.” I will give no spoilers. Darn it! Great cast. Besides Edgar, it has the Virginian. Actually both. Joel McCrea and James Drury. Warren Oates is there. Mariette Hartley. It has the best anti-buddy/buddy combination ever in McCrea and Randolph Scott. ( My only minor complaint regarding Scott, is that he likes wearing the hat strap to keep his hat on. I prefer no strings on my cowboy hat. (John Wayne liked the strap, but not in a functional way. He wore his strap behind the head.) Great cast. Great writing. Edgar Buchanan almost steals the show in a minor role.
Crap. Damn. No wonder that the film is so good. It is directed by Sam Peckinpah!
If you haven’t seen it, I also recommend “Bring me the Head of Alfredo Garcia.” Warren Oates and another perfect actor, Isela Vega. She is spectacular.
Il y a de la joie. Pourtant tant mieux, il y a toi !
SP:
Now I’m even more eager to see “Ride the High Country.” That I’ll probably see “Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia” first should make another Mariette Hartley character just spit.
(A nod to her appearance as Veronica on the “Try and Catch Me” episode of “Columbo.” Hartley is in two episodes involving mystery writers: her first is “Publish or Perish,” in which Mickey Spillane is the victim.)
Thank you!
Faut-il qu’il m’en souvienne
La joie venait toujours après la peine
AS,
1. I found “the Tenth Victim” on Amazon. “L’Insoumis” and “Human Desire” are on YouTube.
2. Mariette Hartley is loved more as a major celebrity. Other than Ride the High Country, I more likely would have remembered the terrific commercials she made with James Garner.
3. Should you and your significant other be so inclined, my wife and I are attending a food conference for her nursing home. I am along for the ride. Come join us at Quapaw Downstream Casino at the tip of Oklahoma. You can school me on the correct plays at poker, and we can play with Be Ware of Eve Hill’s money. [She is so kind!]
While waiting, I will order “We Have Always Lived at the Castle” from my local library. Have a tremendous rest of the week.
Et à la fin L’amour que tu prends Est égal à l’amour que tu fais
AS,
John Derek could pick lovely women, but he certainly could not keep them.
A few months ago, I referred to this page as “Over-educated people getting angry over the dumbest thing in the world.” I meant that as a compliment, and I stand by it. (picture: some sort of emoji the kids use today)
Bill the Splut,
I will take it as a compliment. Who knows what common horrors CBH could have committed in rural Iowa, if she did not have SOSF to post upon?
The watermelon 🍉 capital of the world would have set a new world record for smashing melons that could have eclipsed any record of smashing pumpkins 🎃.
So SOSF we salute you for your part in rehabilitating this dear forgotten by society (but not by us) lost watermelon soul.
Yeah, you’re not in no Iowa now.
This is Hartford.
Connecticut.
INSURANCE CAPITAL OF THE WORLD, BITCHES
Oh, you have watermelons?
WE HAVE FORMS!
THAT YOU MUST FILL OUT!
IN TRIPLICATE, ASSSSSHOOOOLE!
(No, not there, you sign there. No! THERE you idiot!)
Perhaps you should bring your forms and meet CBH and me at Muscatine Iowa. We can compare watermelons 🍉 to forms. With CBH being a minor, we have to watch what she drinks. I hear watermelon wine has quite the kick.
I know how to handle my watermelon wine! I learned everything I needed to know from the 1994 Tracy Byrd hit.
You realize that is the most common statement referring to watermelon wine.
🤩🍉😎♥️🤣
Connecticut don’t go to Iowa.
Iowa goes to Connecticut, BITCH
OH GOD I dropped my croissant! MINDY! My croissant’s on the floor! MIN–DEEE! God, no one wants to work these days!
(end scene in Fairfield county; calls HOA to complain that they saw a squirrel yesterday)
Rest of CT: looks at croissant, wipes off pet hair, maybe a bug, eats it)
Connecticut supersedes Iowa. Splut trumps Promise. I am not sure how CBH transports 14 pallets of watermelon 🍉 to Connecticut. But she is known for her problem solving skills. Maybe a 20 mule team wagon would be appropriate.
My favorite thing about these stats is that, for nearly every single one of them, the 1.5 year period represented here was the clear high water mark. Lefty and DSH largely spent the strip’s remaining decade plus with their work spouses.
I gotta say, it’s impressive that Batiuk chose a reference as obscure as an old Fred Hembeck gag from Comics Buyers’ Guide for Mopey’s costume.
Or the colorist just doesn’t care. Yeah, probably that one.
No one draws knees like Hembeck!
OK, no one should draw knees like Hembeck. But dang he was funny! “Fred Hembeck Destroys the Marvel Universe,” anyone but me remember that?
Steve Rogers: “Is the apple pie fresh today?”
Restaurant guy: “You think I’d sell stale pie to Captain America?! All my other customers, sure, but not you.”
Hembeck is one of the great ones.
Well, the Comic-Con “fun” continues in Tuesday’s ‘Shaft:
Panel One: Just what every convention/flea market/yard sale vendor wants: an old fogey to stand in front of the books they’re trying to sell and rummaging without buying, going “I had this comic and sold it” repeatedly. Jff, no one told you to sell your collection! You didn’t even look for other storage space in your house! Nor did you consider giving them to your Grandson of Indeterminate Age! And you got paid for them, unlike the ones your mother tossed! Get over yourself!
Panel Two: Will Mr. Randy “Rob Hanes Adventures” Reynaldo (yes, I am familiar with the series) be gracing us with a Sideways Sunday comic cover strip? My belly button is puckering and unpuckering with anticipation!
Panel Three: Talk about big guests: This year’s SDCC seems to have snagged the preserved body of TV’s original Superman, George Reeves, for public display! And I thought Old West gunslinger Jonah Hex had it rough!
Panel 3 also contains the world’s worst Carmen Sandiego cosplay.
Looks to me like Reynoldo is trying not to be seen by Jff.
“Please, God. Just make him go away without noticing me…”
Five bucks says that Jffffff buys back copies of all the books he sold so Mommy can’t win. It’s all about not understanding how horrifying a fanboy that clueless looks like on the outside, you know.
The thing of it is, it wasn’t even his mother that caused him to sell his comics. It was Ed! A couple of months ago, he set fire to the roof of the house, and Jff was storing his comics in the attic. So they got damaged by water and smoke, so Jff decided to sell them rather than risk having Ed destroy them completely (or, y’know, risk having to bother finding a safe place to store them). (And for some reason, despite acknowledging the obvious water damage and the fact that they smelled like smoke, Skunky John still bought them, because that’s totally something a comics shop owner would do. No wonder he needs Becky to keep his business afloat.) (Skunky has all the business acumen of… well, everyone else in these comics…)
I suppose the smoke and water damage would average out the stench of the rancid pizza.
(I’ve mentioned before my friend who lived above a pizza place because it was all she could afford as a young divorced woman. She had to keep her work clothes in dry cleaning bags, and swore she’d never eat pizza again. She didn’t live a “quarter inch from real life,” she lived in real life, and I wonder if Tom Tom ever has)
The man doesn’t understand that watching the sausage get made is a no-no. He doesn’t live in the real world.
Okay, did anyone out there imagine that, after Tuesday’s ‘Shaft ended with Jff standing over a box of comics and kvetching “I had this comic and sold it,” Wednesday’s strip would begin the exact same way? Batiuk serves up jokes the way Loretta Lockhorn serves up dinners: leftovers more times than you can count!
I liked the way you referenced Al Jaffee in your comment over on GC as I see Crankshaft as a poorly written Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.
This bit would work if Ed actually gave some snappy answers.
I liked it too until I looked at GC around 10:30 and found the comment MIA. Let’s try it again.
Yeah, I knew it would get nuked. What little babies they are over there.
How long would these arcs go on if they just skipped to the chase?
“Tom surrogate gets what he wants with no effort! Yes, it’s Comical Books!!”
That’s all these strips are now. My version: Not dragged out for 3+ weeks, but 2 days! Whiny sighing Jeff gets Fat Flash, OVER and OUT, goodbye.
Man, I hope Davis just says “I’m done” at the end of the year. He can go draw Marvin and it’d be a step up.
Eve Hill, I apologize. I said “hang in there!” but crimeny. CS is awful.
It’s dismaying how Batiuk can turn his sole attention to his one remaining comic strip and make it so much worse. He’s taking the worst of Funky Winkerbean (such as the overuse of comic books and Mason Jarre) and merging it with the worst of Crankshaft (such as unfunny wordplay and Lillian McKenzie).
Other than a couple watered-down story arcs with a flamethrower, Cranky the Menace has been nowhere to be seen.
The scary thing is that He-Who-Will-Not-Named hasn’t made an appearance yet.
A big salute to TFHackett for maintaining the ACT IV section of SoSF with Crankshaft info.
7/20:
“You tell ’em! Everything is about ME! MEEEEEEE!”
Tom…really thinks he isn’t coming across as some narcissistic lunatic, right? I guess we’ve got until Saturday before Hipster Chinstrap gives him the comics for free.
Well, the plot really picks up in Thursday’s CS, doesn’t it?
In case anyone out there is interested, the slabbed comic Jff is holding appears to be 1967’s Fantastic Four No. 65 (“From Beyond This Planet Earth!), a Lee/Kirby goodie that was the first appearance of Ronan the Accuser (the Kree baddie played by Lee Pace in the first “GotG” film).
Now, Jff’s claim that he was 12 when he bought the book doesn’t quite line up with him having been a Kent State student during the 1970 National Guard shootings, but in a comic strip universe populated by time-travelling high school janitors, what can you expect? It also puts his age at around 68; about time for those gray sideburns to reappear.
And, naturally, he has to conclude with a smug correction to the poor vendor who’s simply trying to move some merchandise and thought he was being helpful to a befuddled old man and his imaginary grade-school avatar, who may or may not still be wearing the same undies he arrived in.
There seems to have been a decline in pro-CS comments since this arc began. Who knows, maybe they’re realizing this is not the strip they’ve read for decades about a criminally insane bus driver with a list of mother and child victims, but now just some geezer’s fetish about comics?
And what do they think about Rictus Homunculus? The freakish little gargoyle who randomly appears? Hey, Davis, if Bats isn’t going to tell people who this nightmare gremlin is, maybe draw him like Jeff? Brown hair, glasses, maybe a face that remotely resembles his skeletal structure? I wish I didn’t know who the little orc is, so I could return to the glory days of talking murder monkeys, and “I guess in Ohio, meth is cheap.”
We see what does get in the way of Batiuk understanding other people: they’re not him.
I”d just like to say that the distinction between comic book ages was today’s actual Crankshaft premise.