beckoningchasm

Grease Is The Word

Here at the Funky Winkerbean Game Preserve, most of our animals are old and/or dead, so I want you to know how privileged you are–today, you’re seeing an actual humorous punchline, an animal we thought had died out long ago. What you’re seeing today is a story you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren! If you have grandchildren, that is, and they’ve been bad.

So yeah, props to Tom Batiuk for an actual funny joke. Since most of the “self-depreciating” humor around here tends to be of the “no one understands my genius” type, stuff like this–stuff that actually acknowledges that Montoni’s specializes in the inedible–is a welcome relief. I didn’t find myself laughing, certainly not smirking to beat the band the way Cayla is, but this is still an encouraging development. But who wants to bet it’ll be the last “funny punchline” for several weeks? I think it’s kind of a strain on Tom Batiuk’s abilities to do more than one each Moon cycle.

And can we please see a location other than Montoni’s? A fellow member of the Legion of Snarker Heroes pointed out that we’ve been at this damned place for over a month. How about something less gloomy and depressing, like a cancer ward?

Also, I think Funky is telling a teensie, weensie little fib there–from his appearance, I imagine he eats nothing but slabs of greasy lard, unless there’s something made of sugary paste he can use as a substitute.

And really, whoever chose the decor–specifically that tablecloth–I hope Funky at least gave him a ride back to the asylum.

Sunday, July 21

Link to today’s strip

ABOVE THE POST UPDATE

Something witty and insightful actually related to today’s strip, to be published after the strip goes live.

–or it could just be Cody, Owen, and Dead Heart John talking about crap that no one, and I mean no one, cares about.

ORIGINAL POST

Since, even with my newly-acquired superpowers, my vision cannot see through Saturday, I thought I’d muse a bit on the 50th anniversary arc we’ve just been through (and may continue on into) while waiting for Sunday to show up.

Firstly and most obviously, there weren’t any jokes. Not even the most charitable teacher, grading on the biggest curve, could find anything that anyone outside of Tom Batiuk’s house could call “humor.” That’s so obvious it hardly needs stating, but there is a question: why is this?

Before we start in on personal attacks (on Tom Batiuk; you can attack me all you want, I’ve got superpowers, nyah!), I’d like to change the question: could this have been funny?

Surprisingly, the answer is yes. Not hilarious, not entertaining even, but I could see the humor if, and only if, certain things had been established. That would have required some ground work prior to the arc, of course, which wasn’t there, but let’s change things just a bit…

First of all, forget how hate-able all the characters are. Now, imagine that instead of Harry Dinkle doing these things, it was Jack Benny.

Many of you may not know who Jack Benny was (though I am older than the stars, I never heard his radio show) but his “comic persona” was that of an determined cheapskate. An affable, amiable, even helpful cheapskate, but a man who parted with a penny only after all other alternatives were exhausted.

Everyone on his radio show was aware of this, and acknowledged it openly. In this context, the idea of Benny taking his long-time girlfriend to an inexpensive anniversary party at the cheap dump they go to every week becomes kind of funny. The girlfriend would be appalled yet not want to say anything, the gathered friends would be feeling the same, and when he said he wanted her to “put out,” he’d open up his wallet for her to contribute.

The height of hilarity? Of course not. But I can see the humor.

The problem, of course, is that Funky Winkerbean‘s Harry is not presented as a cheap miser. He’s presented as a beloved father-figure; the very idea of an anniversary party at Montoni’s is not discouraged, but lauded as magnanimous. Harry’s persona is entirely wrong for this kind of story. Had he been presented as he’s perceived by readers–cheap, selfish and egotistical–than this whole arc would have some potential. Viz:

Just as not funny as regular, but at least with a punchline.

I’ll be first to admit the above isn’t funny. But it does have an actual punchline that makes sense in context of Harry’s character.

It’s a pity in a way, because if Tom Batiuk had taken the time to establish (or acknowledge) some negative traits for his characters, the overall level of humor…well, let’s not go overboard. Let me say that it least it wouldn’t be below sea-level.

As another example, take Les Moore. Please. (Ha ha…ha?) If he were presented as a semi-talented nebbishy dweeb, his “home run” at writing such a terrible teleplay would be seen as a funny over-estimation of his abilities. Similarly, the fact that both Susan and Cayla found him attractive could have been the source of some humor. That was not to be, though, as the one attempt was viciously slapped down (“I screwed up” “Yes, you did”) in order to demonstrate Les’ obvious (to TB) appeal.

So, thanks for your indulgence on this fine Sunday morning. As for today’s strip, why, let’s just take a look, and…oh good grief.

Saturday, July 20

Link to today’s strip

ABOVE THE POST UPDATE: Oh my God. Oh. My. God. I never thought…I never dreamed…that this could come to pass…that this…this…

I’ve taken all the brain bleach that I have left. I don’t know what’s more powerful than that (“Nitric acid…pretty much destroy anything…” “But Ernie, there’s not enough of it–“).

For you the living, bonus…cough…bonus points if you can identify that dialogue…Funky-vision on full…oh my God…what I see…”If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out!” You know, it didn’t work for Ray Milland, if you’ve heard the rumors…

Apologies if some of the above is a bit obscure…it’s been a long week, and when it’s been a long week, the obscure tends to sharpen his talons and especially sharpen that trivia gland.

I’m…I’m frightened by what Sunday will bring. Hello? Hello? Is there anyone there? Don’t leave me in the Sunday Funky Winkerbean realm! AAARRGHHH!! For the first time, I regret my duty. TFH!!! I’ll be good! I promise I’ll be good!

ORIGINAL POST:

If you’ve ever read comic books, you know there’s always a story that eventually comes up where the hero loses his powers. “I shouldn’t have eaten that fudge cake that Toyman made! For, I’ve now lost all my super-dance powers! Still…fudge cake!”

So, for whatever reason, Saturday’s strip is hidden from my Funky-vision powers. I suspect it’s only temporary–it was only a small piece of fudge cake–but it means I’ll have to wait until the strip actually appears in the real world before I can say anything meaningful about it.

(Contest: did you spot the word that didn’t belong in that previous sentence? Yes, that’s right, it was “meaningful”!)

In the meantime, let’s all enjoy some vintage Gil Kane action.

Jam-packed with inaction!

Harry Don’t Play That

Link to today’s strip

You know what’s happening here, right? Harry is hanging up his coat in preparation of that putting out that he mentioned. Do you still have any of that brain bleach left over? Useful stuff, isn’t it! But with Funky Winkerbean, you don’t want to rely on the store-brand stuff, you want the professional kind.

I have no idea who Andy Clark is, other than the former keyboard player for Be-Bop Deluxe. (He was apparently the white-haired guy in the Sunday strip with the expression of wanting to be anywhere else than Montoni’s.) I also cannot recall any strip in the past, oh, year or so in which it was mentioned he was on an airplane (oops, there I go assuming again, he could be flying by jetpack–it is the future after all) and what that had to do with any of the sad, shriveled lives in Westview. I do remember that Harry had a book out, though. The reason for this shout-out baffles me, though. Of course, all of Funky Winkerbean baffles me, so that’s nothing new.

I’m going to take a stab here and look at this “Guys don’t do that” thing. By the way, I’m a guy and I do do that, so I don’t think Tom Batiuk’s illustrating some kind of “male truth” here. But I recall the strip from February or March in which Dopey Pete asked Darrin to give his regards to the old gang, and they both immediately agreed that they wouldn’t actually do this. That’s some very strange reasoning going on, if “reasoning” is the right word. Maybe “guys” don’t like to greet each other, or say “How’s it going” or some damn thing. But Harriet said “we” so is his own refusal supposed to override whatever she might do? Also, these people have been married for fifty years–wouldn’t she know a little bit about how her husband behaves? This is giving me a headache.

Also, it looks as if Harriet has sewn her right hand to her blouse. I suppose in Tom Batiuk’s worldview, that’s something that women just do, huh? Amirite, guys?

Andy Clark also played on David Bowie’s Scary Monsters album. Now he’s publishing books by Harry Dinkle. “Drug overdose” is starting to look like a better career-capper, eh Andy?

Oh-Oh, Oh-Oh, There's Panic In The World

Fun Not Included

Link to today’s strip

And another plotline deflates with a soft, farting noise, like a balloon animal lying long forgotten in a dust-covered toy box, in the attic of an abandoned house sitting silent in the rain.

This whole “Harry’s 50th Wedding Anniversary” arc has been dull even by Funky Winkerbean standards and folks, that’s saying a lot.

Let me mention something here. I was originally scheduled to assist Fearless Leader some weeks ago, but that conflicted with a trip out of town, so Fearless Leader wisely scheduled Mr. Epicus Doomus in my stead. A good thing too, as it turned out I had no internet access (other than a smart phone–have you ever tried to blog with a smart phone?). I mention this not because it’s interesting but because it illustrates the way in which most stories are told–something begins, there’s a crisis to be resolved, people work to resolve the crisis, and there’s a satisfying conclusion.

Now, my new superpowers only go as far as “sidekick” so I have no idea if this Harry-Crapper continues next week. But this story is like one told by a five-year-old. “There was this man and he wanted to give a lady a special party and he did and everything was great and then they went to Niagara Falls.” No tension, no drama, nothing unexpected–it’s as if Lucy promised Charlie Brown that she’d let him kick the football, and he did, and it was a pretty good kick. In other words, boring.

It does lend some credence to my idea that the characters in this strip are avatars of folks in Tom Batiuk’s real life, and that their portrayal rises and falls depending on how his relationship with them wavers. Note Fred Fairgood, who gave a little tour of his old apartments and then suddenly suffered a crippling stroke. I bet the real-life Fred’s Christmas card wasn’t quite up to Tom’s standard. Bull Bushka is the opposite example; once a bully and nemesis, now he is generally treated pretty well in Westview. I think Tom Batiuk met the real-life Bull a few years ago and the two of them found they got along pretty well.

So, I’m guessing that Harry Dinkle was an especially beloved teacher. (Unless he’s another author avatar. Shudder.) Harry is always treated with respect (in the strip) and so far as I can recall, he’s never interacted with Les. That’s the only reason I can see that Les was barely at the party, and he never gave out lame smirks and worse puns. Harry’s not to be smirked at, nor punned into.

But that’s no excuse to have nothing happen.

Pretty sad is the idea that this represents how Tom Batiuk’s own 50th anniversary happened. Even sadder if this represents how he wished it happened.