Author: beckoningchasm

It was already Thursday

But his Lordship’s artificial limb had still not been found.

Therefor, having directed the servants to fill the baths,

He seized the tongs,

And set out at once for the edge of the lake

Where the Throbblefooted Spectre still loitered in a distraught manner.

He presented it with a length of string

And passed on to the statue of Corrupted Endeavor

To await the arrival of autumn.

(As you might have gathered, today’s strip was not available for preview.  So please enjoy chapter one of Edward Gorey’s “The Object Lesson,” written from memory.)

Let’s all sing along!

Link to today’s strip.

So, the last two strips were entirely superfluous–weirdly superfluous, as if Batiuk did have some purpose–“Say, no one’s mentioned Lisa lately, how can I fix that?  I know, I’ll just push Monday’s strip to Wednesday, that gives me two whole strips to shoehorn her in.   Now, where’s my thinking crap?”

Now, credit where it’s due, I guess–Batiuk just straight out has Cindy outline her entire purpose, when he could have stretched this out for days.  (“Oh, you knew someone named Lisa, too?”)  Oh, don’t get me wrong, he’ll still stretch the whole premise out for days, but at least we get the preliminary bit right out, center stage.   So we’re at least somewhat on track.

Of course, I would not put it past him to run the following script in tomorrow’s episode–

Panel One:  Cliff:  So let me get this straight–

Panel Two:  Cliff:  You want to make a documentary about Butter Brinkel, the biggest screen comedian of his day,

Panel Three:  Cliff:  And how he went to prison for the murder of actress Valerie Pond, despite protesting his innocence?

Panel Four:  Cindy:  Well, let me put it another way–

And the next day, Cindy restates it all again.  Repetition, it’s what all the cool kids are doing, and it’s a surefire way to make it to that fiftieth!  Less than three years to go!

Chemo-Sabe

Link to today’s strip.

Look, I made a pun!  Based on “kemosabe” and “chemotherapy”!  Do I get an award yet?!  I should go out and stand by the mailbox!

Of course, I have the feeling that Batiuk has used that exact same pun, previously on this long hard slog, so I’m a bit deflated by that.

Speaking of deflated, how completely baffling is it that Lisa is brought up in today’s strip.  It makes it look as if everyone in the entire world was affected by her passing, and everyone must pause and mourn when something brings her to mind.  “Hey, look at this painting, the Mona Lisa!”  (sigh)   “I guess I should sign the lease, uh?”  (moan)  “Okay, I found one, where’s the other shoe?”  (sob).

Because otherwise it just seems like more whoring out of Tom Batiuk’s Greatest Hit, in the hopes that someone, somewhere–anywhere–might say, “Hey, I’ve got an award I’ve got to give out–and it looks like I’ve found someone deserving!”

Batiuk, let her rest.  You fumbled it, and the play’s been called.

Dine ‘n’ Slapdash

Link to today’s strip.

Many thanks to Comic Book Harriet for her recent hosting of the Ongoing Mess.  As usual, her posts were more interesting than the strip before us.

As for the strip before us, a cursory glance at today’s strip left me really puzzled.  I thought, How in the heck could Crazy Harry be close to Butter Brinkel, someone who had probably died before he was born?  Is this like his Tarzan fixation, where his obsession with the character led to said character coloring his world?  Just because he owns all the DVDs?  And how could he afford to fly out to Los Angeles?

A more careful reading then revealed that this was Cliff Anger, and not Crazy Harry.   Frankly, this strip is too worthless to inspire careful readings, so I was a bit put off.

Then there’s the word “kemosabe.”  I’m of the generation who associates the term with the Lone Ranger and Tonto, being Tonto’s term for the Ranger.  A quick search says that it means something like “faithful companion,” which is how I always took it.  The fact that it’s an odd word, not likely to used in common parlance, leads me to believe we’re going to get some kind of awful wordplay down the road.  Oh…joy.

(Unless Batiuk is going to pick up on the Urban Legend that “kemosabe” means “horse’s ass,” but I don’t see how he can get Les to Los Angeles in time….)

There’s Always Someone Around You

Link to today’s strip.

And another strip unavailable for preview.  Of course, that’s typical for Sundays so no surprises there.  I dare say, if I may be so bold, that it has been quite some time since we last saw Funky and Les running.  Or we might just get more Dinkle.

Anyway, for my first time back in the chair in a while, let’s recall the wonders we witnessed recently during my stint:  Wally got a pizza party and Dinkle looked for food.  When your strip is just jammed full of action and adventure like that, you should certainly expect the awards to roll on in!   You’d also expect people to buy your books, not only for themselves but as gifts for others!  I mean, who wouldn’t want a boxed set of Dinkle’s entire Claude Barlow witlessisms?  Sure, maybe the Norms would balk, but they’re not on award committees so they can be ignored.  And ignored with gusto!

Well!  That’s it for me, at least for the present.  It’s time to hand off this cold, damp slice of pizza off to the Stunningly Suave SpacemanSpiff85!    He’ll focus his fearsome frap-ray blaster on the festering fools who fill Funky‘s foul fiefdom–for a fortnight!

Thank you all for your indulgence!  And now, exit–stage right!